Regret number of kids?

joeblack066

I have 4. 3 from 1st marriage, ex H ran off, 1 from 2nd, left ex H who then passed away through alcohol related issues. Love every molecule of all of them, all working (youngest at college), 2 married, love all their partners, 3 grandchildren, love love love my gorgeous family, and wouldn't change a thing! Oh, and I've always worked full time, despite being a single Mum most of the time.

[Deleted User]

i`m 55 mrs w 52 grandchildren 3 months and 7 i would rather boil my own eye balls than have more kids ,and thankfully its medically impossible now:p

having said that we have 2 kids and looking back 25 years a 3rd wouldnt have been that bad an idea

janiebquick

anotherMaggie wrote: »

I would love to hear opinions of over 50s on whether their lives would be better or worse now if they had more or less kids.

I'm wondering whether to have a third and while of course there are the obvious money and time factors what I'd really like to know is what it might be like as we become an older couple; would 2 probably visit more as they would have grand comfort and space at home or might it be best to have more kids and then up our chances of more grand kids etc? I know you just can't tell how it might work out but would like to hear opinions of those with adult children as its v easy to say how great kids are when they're still cute and cuddly.
Thanks.

Beware! I have twins and I know quite a few mums who had two children and 'thought they'd try for a third', only to end up with twins.

As to your original question - I had no choice about having two! But we never tried for a third.

oldandhappy

We had our first before expected infact hubby moved in to our first home the day the babe was born and 12 months later we had twins so so shocked to find this out at 8 months pregnant stage. Life was very busy but we did survive and mainly did not have any regrets...That was 1968 and 1969...could now right a book to be honest.

aeb_2

janiebquick wrote: »

Beware! I have twins and I know quite a few mums who had two children and 'thought they'd try for a third', only to end up with twins.

As to your original question - I had no choice about having two! But we never tried for a third.

We tried for a 4th and got triplets. I have 3 of each and wouldn't change a thing. I'm not sure what my late husband would have thought.



Just after I had my 1st the old lady who lived opposite came round. She said 'follow your heart, if it feels right to have another don't let anyone talk you out of it'. She had two girls and I got the feeling she had wanted to try for a boy but her husband hadn't been keen.

outtawork

l had 3 children oldest was 16, 13 & newborn. the gap between the oldest wasn't too bad, but the baby was almost like an only child as the gap was too big.

Savvy_Sue

Having had the original question re-quoted, and having just got through Christmas, I think the amount they visit once they've stopped being cute and cuddly has little to do with the number you have, and everything to do with the kind of relationships you build with them, the kind of people they grow up to be, and how well you get on with their partners (if they have them).

Mine come back / visit when it suits them, and when I issue a 3 line whip. I'm struggling with the middle one atm, who seems to think I should pay his train fare home at Christmas, despite the fact that he's in a very well paid job and probably has more disposable income than we do. Yes, I used to pay his fare home when he was a penniless student, but he graduated over a year ago and walked into a very nice job!

I have delegated his Dad to speak to him ...

I try to visit my mum once a month, which is a bit more often than when Dad was alive but they were always too busy to see me on my day off, and Mum still is, but at least she expresses appreciation for my visits now. She speaks to DH as little as possible, or we might go more often. And she's never gone out of her way to keep in contact with her grandchildren, which she'd probably blame on me although again, I visited when I could and they never came to us, even when they could.

One of my siblings lives near Mum, and knows that nothing they do will ever be 'enough', so again, they limit what they do and how often they visit. There are three of us who will go out of our way to organise family events, but not everyone wants to join in.

pollypenny

woodbine wrote: »

i`m 55 mrs w 52 grandchildren 3 months and 7 i would rather boil my own eye balls than have more kids ,and thankfully its medically impossible now:p

having said that we have 2 kids and looking back 25 years a 3rd wouldnt have been that bad an idea

Yea gods! I read that first that Mrs W has 52 grandchildren! :eek: :rotfl:

DigForVictory

It isn't quantity, it's quality.
One grandma has 3 girls - 1 married with 3 lads.
One grandma has 1 of each - both married with children.
Latter has a bulging diary as she does unconditional love, empties her store cupboard into huge meals & thinks every grandchild is marvellous.
Former corrects spellings, insists on table manners (despite trying to get 7 at a 4 seating table) & is long on developmental opportunities rather than fun.

You want them to come back? Love 'em to bits, feed 'em & cheer them on. The path to your door will be soundly trampled!

pollypenny

DigForVictory wrote: »

It isn't quantity, it's quality.
One grandma has 3 girls - 1 married with 3 lads.
One grandma has 1 of each - both married with children.
Latter has a bulging diary as she does unconditional love, empties her store cupboard into huge meals & thinks every grandchild is marvellous.
Former corrects spellings, insists on table manners (despite trying to get 7 at a 4 seating table) & is long on developmental opportunities rather than fun.

You want them to come back? Love 'em to bits, feed 'em & cheer them on. The path to your door will be soundly trampled!

I would do both!

I think people for whom table manners come naturally are grateful for being taught them and expected to use them, as do the whole family.