nebie - be gentle !

135K

I did used to be on a decent salary - and I did treat money like a game of monopoly !

and yes

I have just come down to earth with a very large bump.

At the moment, I am torn between realising the full potential of the assets, whilst working (havent decided what yet) to pay the minimum

or

sell the lot as they are, and see where I come out the other end - which is kinda hard to get my head around.

I am thinking somewhere in-between at the moment - whilst moving towards selling the lot quickly. It does seem like throwing 'potential' money away though, if you know what I mean.

I have my family to think about, so I dont want to have to sell the house just yet. was hoping to last 5 yrs or so, until the eldest leave school then it wouldn't be an issue.

My wife knows about the debt, and pays all the bils and some to the mortgage - I wont be asking any more of her, as to be honest, I dont think the marriage would take it.

So I can either sort it out or go under.

Worst that will happen, is I am debt free, but on my own again and at the bottom of the ladder.

[Deleted User]

Forgetting the assets as that is Ifs and Buts for now, they may make money but then again they may not, if it was so easy to make 75K out of doing up bots everyone would be doing it, try this tool to help see where you currently are today -

http://www.whatsthecost.com/snowball.aspx

Type in your disposable income and all your debts at what rates print it out and put it on your wall.

Then maybe look at getting some guarenteed income to stop your debts compounding while you do up the boat. That is if you want to pay it off.. as far as im concerned bankrupcy is a lesson for the banks to learn and more people should be doing it to teach those actuarys (stupid fools) a lesson about risk. Unfortunatly no one can teach the the pain and misery they have put some of my friends through while they laugh away with there cocaine and champagne.

rayday2

I really would not sell your home, I would sell everything you can now, or even better swallow your pride and get a job as well as selling everything.

With a job you can then save up for your boat you want, I work with a sailor so I know the passion involved but being harsh you can't afford it at the moment.

I think your marriage would improve if she saw you genuinelly being the traditional provider, I suspect from a female prospective she could be a little cheesed off with your "playing" - but if she saw you selling things and working, the house not at risk respect would be there.

135K

sell or not sell at the moment - like today - now - is not my priority.

I have no money to pay my mortgage next week !

I will dig out the paperwork and see if they do payment holidays. I know my lloyds loan does, and I will use that as a last minute thing , if the car(s) dont sell this weekend. I would rather keep paying as much as possable though.

I will go through all my cards in a bit, and see about squeezing them so I can transfer off my highest APR (I think that would be capitol one, who have just put the rate up to a stupid amount :eek: )

anyone know how much notice you have to give fore a payment holiday ?


by the way - its not pride that stops me getting a job, its the fear (irrational I know) of the inland revenue, the coulcil tax people, the ex wife trying to get any of my earned money.... I would quite happliy stack shelves - and I might do yet - still worried about having an 'income' that has to be raked over. I dont want to get too much into my personal life, as I am finding it difficult airing my financial life at the moment.

smudgemanc26

I think for a payment holiday for a mortgage you have to give at least well over a months notice. I dont think you could ring them up today and ask for a payment holiday at the end of this month you need to apply for one in advance. Well thats what my paperwork says anyway.

135K

I am trying to think of a way I can earn money, but put it through my wifes business, so she can sort all the tax out n stuff. I guess it would mean making / fixing up stuff and selling it through her books.

oh - i dont know - I am just rambling now. I didn't get much sleep last night (this morning)

wow - is that the time !!!! I am going to see if I can get somethings sorted.

I will pop back on here from time to time.

Thanks to you all so far.

rayday2

How old are the children you share with your ex wife? Thing is that what she could end up (- and its only a could the CSA are rubbish at catching up with people! ) is probably a lot less than interest you are paying out and risking your home.

I have an ex and he came out the best of our marriage financially - you have to let go its the past, you cannot let your dislike or worry over what she could get take over your future - it could really stuff things up.

Also I think if you are worrying so much maybe you should take some professional advice, why not give the national debt helpline a ring I am sure the could come up with some things, it is better to miss payments on loans (not secured ones!) and credit cards than missing payments with mortgages.

I think the real facing up you need to do is that credit wise you are risky, so stop thinking about getting card deals and think "opps we can't afford the cards we have, lets start sorting out the debt we have"

Please do ring a professional its the only way to get peace of mind!

135K

rayday2 wrote: »

How old are the children you share with your ex wife? Thing is that what she could end up (- and its only a could the CSA are rubbish at catching up with people! ) is probably a lot less than interest you are paying out and risking your home.

I have an ex and he came out the best of our marriage financially - you have to let go its the past, you cannot let your dislike or worry over what she could get take over your future - it could really stuff things up.

Also I think if you are worrying so much maybe you should take some professional advice, why not give the national debt helpline a ring I am sure the could come up with some things, it is better to miss payments on loans (not secured ones!) and credit cards than missing payments with mortgages.

I think the real facing up you need to do is that credit wise you are risky, so stop thinking about getting card deals and think "opps we can't afford the cards we have, lets start sorting out the debt we have"

Please do ring a professional its the only way to get peace of mind!

I rang a couple, a few weeks ago. NDH said to talk to my creditors and ask them to reduce the interest. I think it was CCCC coudnlt help as I had no income and the house was worth too much. I really found it difficult to talk much on the phone, as I could cry if I think about it. Typing is much easier !.

You are right about letting it go with the ex - It's just the thought of the scrounging B*%$v ketting her hands on my money again and knowing none of it would be spent on the kids - the two that spend more time with her are 10 and 11, the two that life with us are 13 ,14. she kept the eldest girl last year after a holiday visit, and it cost us about 6 grand in court fee's to get her back home ! - so it's not really in the past for me.

mrsmortenharket

apologies for my post up there then!

I can understand more now you have posted more.

Obviously you need to sell stuff.

I have no idea how e-bay would be woth some of the items you have got???

Do either you or your partner work atm?

Lisa

misspoppy

Hi

I think the safest way to stay on track with the tax office is to take a job on PAYE that way its all done for you. It is highly unlikely that you would get investigated on PAYE. The IR are more likely to investigate you putting stuff through your wifes business.

If you don't have the money for the mortgage next week you really need to sell something even if it isn't anywhere near its potential value, missing a mortgage payment would cause you a lot of problems not to mention damage your credit rating which could in turn cause more problems with the cards.

You do sound like you've changed your attitude to this problem, I don't think you are the other guy and I admire you coming here telling us your problems and then going away and thinking about the suggestions people have given you. Well done I'm sure it wasn't easy.