Affording to have a baby

thriftylass

hgotsparkle wrote: »

We have no debts, just renting a very small place that is council tax free as its the cheapest option. We're both mid 20s but he thinks around 30 is the right time. He does always say 'when we have a baby....'.

That's not too bad then

We got together only in my mid 20s and OH was 30 and started trying when I was 30. You got plenty of time. It's positive he says when rather than if

notanewuser

Prothet_of_Doom wrote: »

Me and my wife, did all sorts of calculations when I was earning £15K and her £12K and we worked out that we needed an income of £20K (in 1991) in order to survive, but a guy at work told me to save like mad, try and live on that £20K and save the rest, because technically we'd never be able to afford having kids. Whilst spending 12 months trying to have a child and the remaining 9 months, we saved £7K. Then we attempted to live on my salary of now £16K.
We couldn't, but we had those savings, but 20 years later I wonder what all the fuss was about.
The problem is that having kids is a massive financial and emotional commitment, and you will never be ready.
I see alot of 30 something graduates, who want to make sure they are at a particular point in thier careers (both male and female) who are living a DINKy lifestyle, and personally I don't think the delay is that healthy.

Delay from what?

My best friend had her first child at 18. Struggled as a single parent on benefits for years and years. Once the youngest started school she went to uni (access course and then degree) finally qualifying and starting her career at 37.

I worked hard from 18 and enjoyed my 20s. When DH and I wed I was 26 and he 28. We enjoyed another few years, built our income and saved a lot while enjoying holidays, mini city breaks, new cars, clothes, good food etc. This meant that when we finally decided to have DD (I was almost 33) we were in a good financial position and didn't feel we were missing out on anything because we'd already done all that. I didn't return to full time work and have spent 3 years with DD so far - you can't put a price on that. We may have fewer holidays, but we enjoy them in a different way. We're not penny pinching all the time. If we want something then we can have it, we just choose not to!

I'm 36 now. We did things the right way for us.

pollyanna24

When I return to work, I will pay for childcare. Using my mum (the only grandparent) is not something I wanted to do as she does a lot for us as it is and I'd feel guilty not paying anything to her but letting her look after him week in week out. Childcare is £600 which again eats into that disposable income but still leaves some left over to have a decent ish lifestyle. Oh, we also had £4000 in bank as a residual in case (we still do actually!)

You could always pay your mum to look after your child, it may be something which she would like to do and the extra cash would come in handy. No one said she had to do it for free. I pay my mum for 3 days a week and she treats it like a job!

notanewuser

pollyanna24 wrote: »

When I return to work, I will pay for childcare. Using my mum (the only grandparent) is not something I wanted to do as she does a lot for us as it is and I'd feel guilty not paying anything to her but letting her look after him week in week out. Childcare is £600 which again eats into that disposable income but still leaves some left over to have a decent ish lifestyle. Oh, we also had £4000 in bank as a residual in case (we still do actually!)

You could always pay your mum to look after your child, it may be something which she would like to do and the extra cash would come in handy. No one said she had to do it for free. I pay my mum for 3 days a week and she treats it like a job!

Hope she's a registered childminder then.

https://www.grannynet.co.uk/ask-jackie/ask-jackie-is-it-legal-for-my-daughter-to-pay-me-for-looking-after-my-grandchild/

pollyanna24

Hope she's a registered childminder then.

http://www.grannynet.co.uk/ask-jacki...my-grandchild/

Ah, well, guess it's a good job I'm anonymous on here. Just saying there are ways round it.

thriftylass

notanewuser wrote: »

Hope she's a registered childminder then.

https://www.grannynet.co.uk/ask-jackie/ask-jackie-is-it-legal-for-my-daughter-to-pay-me-for-looking-after-my-grandchild/

That's just silly. But if my mum would look after her grand child and I happen to give her some money to pay for expenses like food etc she doesn't need to be a child minder.

But read carefully, she only needs to registered because the daughter gets financial help for child care from the government and wants to pass that on.

notanewuser

thriftylass wrote: »

That's just silly. But if my mum would look after her grand child and I happen to give her some money to pay for expenses like food etc she doesn't need to be a child minder.

But read carefully, she only needs to registered because the daughter gets financial help for child care from the government and wants to pass that on.

Expenses is one thing. The PP implied she was paying her mum (cash in hand, presumably) to look after her daughter. That's dodgy employment territory.

rachbc

Its hard. Really hard. When we had DD I went back to work PT and after childcare was paid was working for a few £100 a month. Even with childcare vouchers it was nearly as much as our mortgage. However as she got older childcare costs dropped, my income increased as I gain qualifications and we were ok again.

Then I was made redundant, changed career and we are broke again but thats a whole different story!!

My kids are 9 years apart so I never had 2 lots of childcare to pay - that would have broken us!

pollyanna24

notanewuser wrote: »

Expenses is one thing. The PP implied she was paying her mum (cash in hand, presumably) to look after her daughter. That's dodgy employment territory.

How about if I pay her gas and electricity bill, council tax, shopping at Tesco etc? Is this a way round it? I'm not saying I pay her a fortune, but don't expect her to do it for free.

Prothet_of_Doom

hgotsparkle wrote: »

I have the issue that my OH wants to be in the position that we can afford to have children, but I don't ever see us being able to afford it. My argument is that you just find a way to cope financially. My overly broody self is still not winning.....

Do the moneysavingexpert budget planner, twice.

Once to see how much you could save today if you put your mind to it, and
Then again, with new circumstances.
Cheaper to run car, no holidays, no nights out, no Christmas Presents etc etc.