Kate's Journey

beanielou

Good news on the leg front I think.
Keep plodding.

Kate_fixing_it

Wow! So many comments and such wonderful support! Thank you all

Ecofarmer - I don't have a passport so airports aren't a problem (can't afford to fly away either until the debt is gone) but I do set off alarms in New Look and a certain PC World store so that'll be over your comment made me laugh when I was feeling awful so thank you

In need of direction - what an awful time of year to be laid up. I hope you recover soon. May and June were really wet last year so I can understand how horrible it is for you to a degree. I was lucky to have my baby brother (32 and over 6ft but he's still my baby bro ) as my carer. I got hooked on news documentaries as it's all he watches and it was lovely to have company and intelligent conversation. But it was a very long 6 weeks with one available leg. You suddenly realise how much you need two! I couldn't even make a cuppa and carry it to a seat! I survived on food I could carry in pockets when he wasn't around.

Verbatim - thank you, though I might miss the magical floating feeling I'm certainly looking forward to being aware of life around me!

Poundshoplover - thank you for your comments, I've not been very positive lately but this diary really helps. I'm back on the wagon now and as you say, determined to get there.

Beanie - thank you. I have your "voice" in my head now each time I feel less than positive. "Just keep plodding" really does help in those dark moments. Since the doctor's "examination" the leg has been constantly painful. I'm just hoping the surgery will be a good move and any improvement is welcome. This time next year the debts will be gone and the leg will have improved. There's always hope.

My meeting yesterday went exceptionally well. A total turn around in attitude from the management. I've been open about my leg (no point hiding the fact that I'll need a month off) and in total contradiction to last time I have been told I will NOT be working from home as I recover (I was logged on after 10 days last time). He's adamant that the time is spent resting and recovering. The support was fantastic and I'm thoroughly enjoying my "new" job.

My friend wasn't in when we visited but I've spoken to her and she seems upbeat so I'm pleased. Pizza night was a success! I received a 50% discount code every scrap of 3 XXL pizzas was demolished to lot's of thank yous and smiles. As we had the code we had premium pizza delivery as opposed to budget offers

So on to Saturday, teens are off out at 12, hubby has his first night shift tonight (last ever block of nights ) so littlies and I are having a PJ day. Currently watching classic Tom and Jerry with a late breakfast and this afternoon they are having a movie marathon while I study (and get the washing on - not touched it all week!)

Tomorrow I'll tackle the grocery shopping and bill paying before my meal out.

Not a particularly exciting weekend but I'm happy with the plans, the kids are happy with the plans and the rest of the world can like it or lump it! We're on the road to success and happiness and anyone who wants to tag along is very welcome as long as they are aware that no matter what we'll just keep plodding

Kate x

Kate x

in_need_of_direction

That last post is exactly what I mean about you being inspirational. You're so positive. Keep up the good work

debtfreeoneday

Hurrah for a supportive employer! You sound like you're doing fab, even thought you've got me drooling for pizza at 9.20am on a Sunday morning! x

Kate_fixing_it

Happy Monday people!

I've had a bit of a pity party over the weekend, all leg related. Very nearly cancelled lunch yesterday but decided to go. I was the world's worst company but my lovely friend persevered with me and then refused to accept any payment for my share.i nearly burst into tears in the middle of the pub (I'm such a muppet!) He's also convinced me to go to a mutual friend's birthday party - 300 miles away! I've spent the last four weekends looking after the kids on my own so it's high time I had a day off. A bed for the night is sorted, we'll share the petrol costs so I'll just need a little spending money.

I had originally said no but I'll be totally honest, hubby is REALLY getting on my nerves in general, I'm bored stiff of sitting here waiting for the hospital to call and I can't put my life on hold. I realised yesterday that people DO want to spend time with me. I'm not just a parent and the last time I had a carefree day was...erm I can't remember. The weekend away is after hubby leaves his current job, he's having a leaving party and has told me outright that he doesn't want me to go with him so I'll have my own night out, it just happens that the people I want to go out with are a few hundred miles away.

There's also the fact that I have no clue when my op will be but it's highly unlikely to be the next two weeks so best that I grab the opportunity now and I'm really looking forward to it. February isn't the greatest time for a trip to the seaside but I'm not going to sit on the beach, I'm going to see my friends, relax and have some fun.

In my opinion, it's going to be £60 very well spent

Kate x

in_need_of_direction

Kate, if you don't cut loose from time to time, you'll end up going totally off the rails. At least this way, you will have a plan, a budget and won't end up feeling guilty. It'll also save on the cost of couples counselling plus it will give you something to look forward to. Good decision.

Kate_fixing_it

in_need_of_direction wrote: »

Kate, if you don't cut loose from time to time, you'll end up going totally off the rails. At least this way, you will have a plan, a budget and won't end up feeling guilty. It'll also save on the cost of couples counselling plus it will give you something to look forward to. Good decision.

It'll save on the cost of a murder defence solicitor TBH I'm not entirely sure our marriage is going to survive. Nothing has changed from when I started this diary. He still berates me regularly about the debts. He resents handing over the money each month and when he's not at work he's not with the family.

I know I did wrong, I know I should have tackled things sooner but we're here now. We're making good progress but I can't seem to do anything right. I try to talk about the situation but I get pushed away. He's barely spoken to me since Christmas. I've got a long uninterrupted call planned to BFF tonight. No matter what happens I'll be having my weekend away - my family will help with the children if needs be.

I'm not even that emotional about it anymore. I feel like a housekeeper and live in nanny. I don't even feel like this trip is me running away. I just know that I can't continue like this.

Not my usual positive post but I do know that whatever happens I'll survive, I'll be debt free.

Kate x

beanielou

At the end of the day your OH was responsible for the debt as well.
Do you have any idea of a DFD yet?

Kate_fixing_it

beanielou wrote: »

At the end of the day your OH was responsible for the debt as well.
Do you have any idea of a DFD yet?

Indirectly, yes. The debts have been run up by living beyond our means as a family. All the debts I'm tackling with the help of this diary are in my sole name. He has a few months left of a 5 year IVA relating to debts from before he met me.

The snowball calculator has given me a debt free date of Feb 2015 based on payments of £600 per month. This doesn't include the loan which has fixed repayments (not included in the £600) and these end in Feb 2015 too.

Kate x

beanielou

But as you say from living beyond your means as a family.
So don't let your OH make you feel guilty.
A year will soon go by & then you will be in a much better position.
Try to not let it get you down.
You have a lot on your plate all round.