people calling your partner your husband/ wife

burnoutbabe

I still wonder who people are on about when they say "where is your fiance" That's a strange name to refer to someone as, so I still stick with boyfriend most of the time.

daisiegg

I used to feel awkward when people referred to him as my husband before we were married. I like being married and never having to use the word 'partner' again! Saying 'husband' makes me feel ever so grown up

bugslet

Mojisola wrote: »

You can't give yourself the spousal exemption for IHT.

You won't be eligible for Funeral Payments or the Bereavement Allowance if you're not married.

Your will needs to be kept somewhere very safe - if no will can be found, everything goes to blood relations - www.justice.gov.uk/courts/probate/depositing-documents-for-safe-keeping

Your GP and any hospital where you might be treated needs to have signed paperwork showing that your partner is your next of kin otherwise blood relations will be given priority.

Mr Bugs doesn't have enough for me to worry about inheritance;) and bar disaster he will go before me, or very shortly after if I snuff it today.

He has insurances to cover his funeral expenses and without knowing anything about bereavement allowance, I doubt I'd be eligible.

My will is with a solicitor, same as himselfs and the two executors both have copies of mine, along with a comprehensive list of my financial dealings. ( Sounds more impressive than it is!)

I have PoA for finances and health. Mr Bugs is terminally ill ( cancer + advanced dementia) and in a nursing home, so I've had a lot of dealings with hospitals/consultants/doctors/socal services/care homes in the last 18 months, and not once have I had any trouble or been asked to provide proof of PoA. Every time he's been rushed into hospital, I've said I'm his partner and I've made the decisons that he no longer can about his treatment.

As I say, I think most things can be dealt with, it just takes time and effort to cover your bases. I don't have anything against marriage, it was just never for me, but we did sort things out in a fashion that suited our particular circumstances. Marriage is easier, unless you don't like the automatic rights, but it was, for reasons too tedious and long to go into,was never for me and Mr Bugs.

lostinrates

bugslet wrote: »

Mr Bugs doesn't have enough for me to worry about inheritance;) and bar disaster he will go before me, or very shortly after if I snuff it today.

He has insurances to cover his funeral expenses and without knowing anything about bereavement allowance, I doubt I'd be eligible.

My will is with a solicitor, same as himselfs and the two executors both have copies of mine, along with a comprehensive list of my financial dealings. ( Sounds more impressive than it is!)

I have PoA for finances and health. Mr Bugs is terminally ill ( cancer + advanced dementia) and in a nursing home, so I've had a lot of dealings with hospitals/consultants/doctors/socal services/care homes in the last 18 months, and not once have I had any trouble or been asked to provide proof of PoA. Every time he's been rushed into hospital, I've said I'm his partner and I've made the decisons that he no longer can about his treatment.

As I say, I think most things can be dealt with, it just takes time and effort to cover your bases. I don't have anything against marriage, it was just never for me, but we did sort things out in a fashion that suited our particular circumstances. Marriage is easier, unless you don't like the automatic rights, but it was, for reasons too tedious and long to go into,was never for me and Mr Bugs.

As i have mentioned before, bugslet, DH and I were not so lucky when he was just 'bf'. Maybe because we were young, had no property together or what, but despite me saying a the beginning I wanted him as nok( and I had a solicitor as executor for my will and stuff at that stage, not parents ) he kept find people were saying 'we'll just call her family' and he 'd refer them to my wishes. But sometimes too late.

Be clear, this was not some form of malice or I'll will against my parents, just a balance if what was best for myself, and those close to me at that time. If I didn't have DH I don'tbknowcehat I'd do about nok. and poa decisions.

catkins

fluffnutter wrote: »

Why? I married my husband because I wanted to be married to him, not because I could put 'wife' down on some form. People often don't realise we're married because we have different surnames but I don't feel the slightest need to correct them. 'Partner' is used as a generic term to include all types of relationship - it could mean spouse, or boyfriend, or same-sex partner - the important thing is that it's a term that's readily understood and encompasses everyone. If you 'hate' that, then you sound a bit insecure frankly.

I also married my OH because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. We got married over 30 years ago when people did get married.

I am certainly not insecure but we are HUSBAND and WIFE not partner and partner. If other people want to call their other half "partner" fine but I don't.

To me a partner is someone you are in business with. If forms are going to have the word to cover same sex relationships fine but they should still have the words "husband" and "wife". Some people still believe in marriage and our opinions should be considered rather than everything being politically correct so others are not offended

tea_lover

catkins wrote: »

I also married my OH because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. We got married over 30 years ago when people did get married.

I am certainly not insecure but we are HUSBAND and WIFE not partner and partner. If other people want to call their other half "partner" fine but I don't.

To me a partner is someone you are in business with. If forms are going to have the word to cover same sex relationships fine but they should still have the words "husband" and "wife". Some people still believe in marriage and our opinions should be considered rather than everything being politically correct so others are not offended

Yes that's right, anyone who uses the term 'partner' is hell-bent on destroying society by undermining marriage as they don't believe in it. Where is the 'rollseyes' smilie when you need it??

hgotsparkle

Judi wrote: »

I'll be honest, hubby very often says i'm his bit on the side.
.

My OH does that. Some people have mistakenly said husband even when they know hes my boyfriend and it does make me feel all warm and gooey inside.
He has asked if I would ever propose to him, and no I wouldn't, I'd feel like I'd be emasculating him, but he said he wouldn't mind. But I'm not going to.
However, if he asked me today, and even said to me 'lets go to the registry office next week and get married' I wouldn't exactly say no...

JimmyTheWig

bluebeary wrote: »

it has happened a few times and its quite nice, we have been together for about ten years and on one occasion when i commented on another couple when we were walking in the street, the man was carrying his bike while his lady friend was carrying the wheels of the bike and my partner said that is what wives of cyclists do

a neighbour just knocked on the door and needed help with his bicycle from my 'husband'

it is a nice warm feeling but cant but feel if i was married to my partner i would definately make more of an effort

I find this very hard to follow, I'm afraid OP.
You're saying that a few times people have assumed that you are married to your partner. But then only give one example of this, as the first example is when your partner assumed someone else was married to their partner?

Do you mean that if you were married to your partner you'd make more of an effort to carry his bicycle wheels?

??

stir_crazy

catkins wrote: »

To me a partner is someone you are in business with. If forms are going to have the word to cover same sex relationships fine but they should still have the words "husband" and "wife". Some people still believe in marriage and our opinions should be considered rather than everything being politically correct so others are not offended

I agree, I hate the word partner to describe a personal relationship. DH is my husband, before that he was my fiance and before that, my boyfriend. I've rarely heard any person in a same sex relationship call their other half "my partner" beyond our first meeting. I've also got friends who are not married but have been with each other so long they just call each other husband and wife in informal situations.

SavingPennies_2

Gloomendoom wrote: »

You look younger than 16?

Er no, lol, but I look younger than I am, and most people dont get married at 16, the average age to get married for a woman is about 30...therefore most people assume I am not married, like they assume I don't have children or own my own house.