Advice needed - neighbours

Jada90

Can we remember that the op has asked for advice not criticism, it was a bit harsh saying little elephant, the poster has not described her son's weight at all and being only very young I cant imagine him being that big at all.

I live in a flat OP, with my 7 year old son, we live above someone, these properties are made cheap as possible and you can hear each other's tv's sometimes. Your neighbour needs to understand that he is a child, he will walk/crawl/run around, he will play with toys, he will talk, cry and even scream (my son had the terrible two's).

Your trying your best to minimise noise, I wouldn't change anything else like your routine or your son's routine. You can not make a child of any age stay still or quiet and it's not right too either.

I don't like the attitude some people have of children should be seen not heard, bore off what century do we live in. I'd also note down time and dates of the times your neighbour has stopped family members and other neighbours, if it carries on I'd call the police for harassment. She should not be discussing the problem she has with you, with anyone else but you, it's unfair to do so.

Does your neighbour have children or anything herself? The times your son wakes up and goes to sleep is a excellent time, does this woman not work most of the day? Does she work? Or is she another bum who sits at home all day and feel's like she has the right to moan about everything in the world?

Maxwellcomp12

I can 100% understand the noise issue from her part... however my landlord has said do not get in any dispute with her now... If she comes up again I am told to ring him and he will come round and speak to her.

I have told him about the carpets which he is refusing to do for us so now I am trying to find other options to minimise the noise she can hear.

The property has also been empty for a while, so she was used to no noise at all.

Jada90

OP do you know if your neighbour works? Say a normal 9-5 job, give it an hour either way for travel, she's having to deal with the noise for what an hour and a half maximum.

I would try not to get angry or cross with her and I know it must be upsetting because I've had it and you feel like you need to keep your children still and not allow them to do anything but that's cruelty and something we should not have to do.

Can your landlord not go and speak to your neighbour? Does your landlord own her property too?

Hoof_Hearted

We once had an elderly neighbour, not in a flat but in a house. We were on very good terms with her and I did lots of little jobs for her, including insulating her loft. When our first child was born, she changed completely and tried to avoid us whenever she could. It was all very weird. Perhaps she had lost a child and it brought back bad memories. We never found out.

Is it possible that it is not just a noise thing but she just doesn't like having a child around? I hate being on bad terms with neighbours but I suspect yours is never going to be happy.

DragonQ

It does amaze me that anyone could hear such running from a child in a block of flats. I can't hear anything from any other flats in my complex, and I play loud music with no complaints at all. Are your walls made of paper?

brunettifan

I would have taken up the offer to listen to the noise from her perspective OP. At least then you would have know what she was complaining about, if anything.

pmlindyloo

It is not funny living in these circumstances either from the occupier's point of view nor from the neighbour's living below.

You say the flat has been empty for a time while the landlord ripped everything out and he has had problems with her before. Sounds to me as if the building work drove her mad and now she has new neighbours with a small child. I can understand her annoyance.

But.................. talking to your visitors is an absolute 'no no'. Her 'beef' is with your landlord.

In my opinion the landlord was in the wrong not to put down carpets in the whole flat when he was refurbishing it.

It is not your fault that he has not done this.

Next time your neighbour complains tell her to ask the landlord to come and listen to the noise. Her complaint is solely with him so let him deal with it. if you feel you cannot speak to her then write a letter explaining that this is out of your control.

A child cannot cause noise pollution - it is the wooden flooring or the fabric of the building that is causing this.

I would be leaving asap and finding somewhere else to live which doesn't involve downstairs neighbours.

suestew

I have first hand experience of this. My old flat was a converted house and not done very well sound wise, you heard everything a I lived below and above had wooden floors. The lady that owned it never seemed to sit down and was always scrapping chairs across the floor. Although I do believe it was worse for me it did work both ways she could hear my TV and smell my cooking. She then rented it out and one of her tenants had a child that ran up and down the hallway into the living room it seemed all day and night. The child didn't go to bed till gone 9:30pm and I have to say it drove me nuts.

I do think your neighbour has handled this wrong, she should have spoke to you about it before contacting your Landlord. But I do feel for her. Carpets would help but your landlord has every right to so no. Thicker rugs and taking shoes off all help.

I think you should listen to the noise though so you can get an idea of it. It can really grate sometimes.

vassa

Tell her to keep her nose out, and to also consider getting a life.

candygirl

Please don't feel the need to walk on eggshells for this woman.No doubt there is some noise, as you would expect while living in a flat.If she complains again contact your landlord, and carry on enjoying your own lives:D:D