Vegetarian wedding meal?

aliama

fabforty wrote: »

But why would that matter? I know many vegetarians and the reason behind their choice is largely unknown and completely irrelevant to me - the fact that they have made that choice is what matters. Why would the reason that they choose not to eat meat mean that they should not be able to serve whatever they like?

I didn't say they shouldn't be able to serve what they like, at all. In fact, I DID say exactly that and that ultimately it was up to them what they served.

But I do think when planning something like this, it's considerate to think about the preferences of your guests. Same goes if someone doesn't really like the taste of alcohol, but isn't alcoholic or opposed to it on religious grounds -- it would still be considerate to serve it for those guests who do drink alcohol.

And frankly, yes, I think there's a huge idealogical difference between someone who doesn't eat meat because they believe, for example, that killing animals for food is murder, and someone who doesn't eat meat because, well... they just prefer not to.

But again, I stress, it's up to them.

Torry_Quine

aliama wrote: »

I didn't say they shouldn't be able to serve what they like, at all. In fact, I DID say exactly that and that ultimately it was up to them what they served.

But I do think when planning something like this, it's considerate to think about the preferences of your guests. Same goes if someone doesn't really like the taste of alcohol, but isn't alcoholic or opposed to it on religious grounds -- it would still be considerate to serve it for those guests who do drink alcohol.

And frankly, yes, I think there's a huge idealogical difference between someone who doesn't eat meat because they believe, for example, that killing animals for food is murder, and someone who doesn't eat meat because, well... they just prefer not to.

But again, I stress, it's up to them.

Interesting that you mention the analogy with alcohol. When we married we asked if it was possible for no alcohol to be sold in the function room at the bar. It was no problem and they set up a table selling soft drinks only. Anyone who wanted alcohol could go through to the bar and have a drink there and some did but most were more than happy to have soft drinks and if anyone was unhappy they said nothing to us.

sarah69696pink

I don't eat meat (but eat fish) whereas my hubby is a big meat eater, but at our wedding we wanted a meal that WE both loved and that represented us as a couple. As such as had a veggie sharing starter and a fish main course (main course was fish and chips which is our celebration meal that we always have when we have something to celebrate with a bottle of bubbly).
We offered an alternative to people who did not like fish, but not for people who just wanted meat.
No-one complained and everyone seemed to love the food - I think they should do what they want to do.
So often I've been to a wedding and the food is not my personal choice but I've enjoyed it because its what the couple enjoy

Frogletina

Toothfairy4 wrote: »

I would think it a bit odd, after all meat-eaters often make special arrangements for veggie meals at their weddings so i don't see why it should be any different the other way around?

As a vegetarian, I've been to many weddings where there are no special arrangements for me - including my brother's wedding where there were three types of meat served. Both my mother and I were lifelong vegetarians and he was brought up as a vegetarian too, but changed to eating meat as an adult.

But I have always accepted that it is my choice to continue to be a vegetarian and so I have just eaten the salad/vegetables. At least for the meat eaters in the scenario in this thread there will be a full meal provided for them.

Bella73

Obviously ultimately it's up to them but personally I would go with the choice of two options veggie and non veggie.

Bearing in mind that some people may have travelled a great distance and can hardly nip out for a sandwhiche if they don't enjoy veggie option so you could end up with people leaving early or very very drunk if they don't eat.

I wouldn't complain as I would think that rude but honestly I am a tadge fussy and don't like cheese, fish or nuts so just wondering what you would be serving?

At all weddings I've been to there has been a choice, sometimes ordered before the day to save waste.

Bean83

But why does it have to be a 'veggie option'? Why not just a meal?! You don't hear other people going on about their 'carnivore wedding'.

Their wedding, their choice - I'm sure all the meat eaters will survive one meal without any meat in it. I don't get why it's such a big deal. As a a veggie, it really annoys me to hear meat eaters going on about 'rabbit food' just because a plate doesn't have any dead animal on it. Surely all meat eaters occasionally have a non-meat meal. And a nice meal is a nice meal, to disregard it just because it doesn't have meat in it is just plain daft.

At someone's wedding, you eat what you're given and you tell them it was delicious. Anything else is just plain rude.

gwynlas

My niece and her husband had their wedding at a vegeteratian venue based on it being a country house with accomodation neither being veggie. No one minded you attend a wedding as a guest to celebrate the couple not to worry if you are served meat fish or veg. I would suggest however if you have gooduggestions to make regarding celebratory food that you make these known, in the same way that you might suggest particular favoutites to any wedding venue.

aileth

I'm a very firm meat eater, but I really don't understand why people would kick off because a vegetarian couple had their wedding vegetarian? All the veggies I know don't do it for health reasons, but because of beliefs (which I respect but don't accept myself)

Its one day. Put it in context. Going without meat for one day won't kill you. Yes, like someone said above, oh if you go around to a vegetarians house, they don't cook meat for you to accommodate you. Well, all the veggies I know would actually retch at the thought of preparing meat, meanwhile I don't retch at the thought of prepping veggies for a visiting vegetarian. It IS different. Of course there are people who are vegetarian for supposed health reasons, but I'm yet to meet one.

A little bit of understanding and acceptance goes a long way.

Edit: just re read and saw she does it for health reasons (don't agree with that at all but everyone's different). I'd say that doesn't change much, apart from if I went around to their house if expect them to maybe do a meat dish instead of my friends who are literally incapable of doing it. Your wedding is your choice. It's your day

Edit edit: the reason we provided veggie options at our wedding was to accommodate everyone and to make sure everyone is fed. All meat eaters will be fed with a veggie menu anyway as they'll surely eat veggies as well as meat?

aliama

I'm going to say one last thing, and leave it at that.

1.) Is it something you know a reasonable proportion of your guests would appreciate having as an option?

If 'yes' then:

2.) Is it something to which you are morally or idealogically opposed?

If 'no' then:

3.) Is it something that will have an adverse effect on the budget?

If 'no' then:

4.) Is it something that will be easy to arrange?

If' 'yes' then... HAVE IT.

Surely the needs of your guests (within reason) should come ahead of you having your wedding EXACTLY the way you want it?

In truth, some guests will always find something to complain about at a wedding. Some people are just like that, and I agree it's not on. But this isn't about them: it should be about the bride and groom anticipating the needs of their guests and adjusting the wedding plans accordingly. Because that's what considerate hosts do.

duchy

If they were veggie for moral reasons it'd be a given it was a veggie meal -as it isn't it's a little greyer I think. It does smack a bit of imposing your own prejudices on your guests ( by definition people you'd like to be happy with their meal).

I personally wouldn't care BUT it would very much depend on the venue-some venues do fantastic veggie food -others are useless-the same goes for caterers. In your friend's shoes I'd go for it but make sure the food is good enough to wow and maybe convert the carnivores