Housekeeping budget

blackpeach

Im a married dad with a lovely wife and three kids (aged 11,6 and 2)

My wife stays at home to look after the kids.

I want to set a monthly budget for how much she should be spending to look after everyone.

At the moment there is no budget and the month end credit card bill can be eye watering!

So its basically a budget on how much my wife is allowed to spend every month.

This would cover family grocery shop for 5 people (2 adults+3 kids) +clothes and other spending for my wife and kids (books, uniforms, cosmetics, petrol for her car,birthdays,xmas, takeaways, ad hoc treats etc)

Does not include, utility bills, rent, car payments+tax+insurance+maintenance, holidays, my clothing, which would be a separate budget.

Would be interested to know how much other similar sized families are spending, my wife can spend over £2000 a month sometimes, the biggest part being the weekly shop, which can be over £200 a week sometimes.

How much is everyone else spending?

McKneff

It would be a better idea to sit down with your wife and discuss this to be honest.

Im getting a bad feeling from you to be honest.

Some of your phrasing is archaic.

YOU want to set a monthly budget

She will be ALLOWED a set amount.

Work out something between you. People on a random forum cannot really advise meaningfully, we have no idea of your lifestyle.

It maybe isn't the case but its what's coming over, to me anyway.

blackpeach

Have hinted about her high spending in the past. It never goes down well. I think im going to have to impose some financial discipline before it gets imposed on us, when we run out of money.
Dont have anyone to talk to about it, hence asking here.

HappyMJ

blackpeach wrote: »

Have hinted about her high spending in the past. It never goes down well. I think im going to have to impose some financial discipline before it gets imposed on us, when we run out of money.
Dont have anyone to talk to about it, hence asking here.

You have to talk with her about it. If she's not willing then cut up the credit cards...pay them off and close them down....open another bank account and drip feed it weekly with what you think is appropriate to spend. Then expect the arguments...You'll need to create a detailed budget showing you are putting as much as you can into the account and also keeping enough back to cover all the bills.

liney

You need to sit down and work out how much things actually cost, at the standard you wish to buy, then work out the budget.

No one here can give you an answer - they may shop at Aldi, and you might want M&S Salmon, iyswim. Asda school uniform versus John Lewis, etc.

DigForVictory

Pick your battles. She's landed the clothes & cooking straw. If you are adamant that £200 a week is too much (and you are in the right place to find individuals who can make that go 'way further), then suggest a swap - you do the groceries buying for a month & whenever an ingredient is missing, or the food isn't as nice, you cop the flack?

Also go careful with the wording - if my husband said I was only allowed X for something, not only would I spend every penny of that, there'd be an extra item or four on the credit card. Whereas if he said, the credit card bill has me scared, can we draw up a budget, I might be more willing to sit and listen & join in.

Essentially you need her cooperation. Or your personal shopping bill may well drop sharply, but the divorce means you lost the war.

And with a two year old, she probably doesn't have a great deal of personal time to spend outwitting the professional sellers (supermarkets) - so negotiate carefully?

xcarlyx

I'd sit down together and get a piece of paper and make up a plan

Gigglepig

You say you don't have anyone to talk to about it but presumably you can talk to your WIFE about it.. There is a detailed budget tool on MSE you can use together to BOTH decide how much you need/wish to spend on housekeeping.

http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/banking/Budget-planning

SailorSam

Mc Kneff picked up on the same thoughts as me. .....
'she needs to be looking after everyone' ....
'I want to set the budget'
It sounds as if when you're telling your teenage kids why they can't have all the latest designer clothes. You need to sit down together and look what you've got coming in before deciding the best way it can be spent.

thriftylass

blackpeach wrote: »

Im a married dad with a lovely wife and three kids (aged 11,6 and 2)

My wife stays at home to look after the kids.

I want to set a monthly budget for how much she should be spending to look after everyone.

At the moment there is no budget and the month end credit card bill can be eye watering!

So its basically a budget on how much my wife is allowed to spend every month.

This would cover family grocery shop for 5 people (2 adults+3 kids) +clothes and other spending for my wife and kids (books, uniforms, cosmetics, petrol for her car,birthdays,xmas, takeaways, ad hoc treats etc)

Does not include, utility bills, rent, car payments+tax+insurance+maintenance, holidays, my clothing, which would be a separate budget.

Would be interested to know how much other similar sized families are spending, my wife can spend over £2000 a month sometimes, the biggest part being the weekly shop, which can be over £200 a week sometimes.

How much is everyone else spending?

Yes, black peach please talk to your wife. Tell her what you have available after bills etc. Ask her how much would she need for a realistic food budget etc. Discuss it with her. Maybe she is under the impression she can easily spend £2000 a month. Also tell her that you'd like enough left from the salary to put aside for emergencies, holidays etc. Maybe collect receipts for a while to see where the money goes, £200 on the weekly shop even for 5 is a lot. I can understand she does the cooking and so on and it must be difficult to maybe question her resourcefulness or how much food goes to waste but that's why you need to talk. If she spends a £1000 a month on food where are the other 1000 going (books, treats, uniform etc shouldn't be that much). But try not to accuse her just ask to discuss it as there is a limit to finances and you'd like to make sure you got a wee nest egg put away too etc. Do you discuss any bigger spends together or does either of you just go out and buy it?

Also, did your wife work/earn money before you had kids. She might find it hard to talk about finances now because you are the sole bread winner and she lost having her own income and maybe doesn't like being given an allowance. I would prob feel a bit like that. So tread carefully. Don't make it sound like you are giving her pocket money or how much SHE is allowed to spend. Maybe try saying YOUR FAMILY budget is xyz. YOUR FAMILY treat budget is xyz.

indsty

Ask your wife for advice in the form of "I'm really worried we won't have enough to pay the utilities this month. Can YOU help ME to find a way to stretch our income a bit further." Say it nicely, like you really need her help. This should be a joint project but i understand maybe your wife has her head in the sand at present. Suggest ways YOU could save, e.g. taking packed lunch to work, and hopefully she will reciprocate.