Serious choices to make - my journey

lulabelle

Ha, thanks Buffy. I have actually started writing a couple of books so I will try to do some more work on them over the weekend.

The nasty boss is back today after 2 weeks away - dreading it. He's like a black cloud over the office and brings everyone down. No doubt I'll be for the high jump at some point. Have to dig in and not resign until I have everything sorted and just think of the cash.

Chased up the job agent yesterday but no response. Haven't sorted gardener yet but did obtain the number so that's a start. Also had a NSD as forced self to work later to then put me off going to the supermarket and spending!

Today:

-breakkie and lunch from stores
-tea at friends (so petrol only)
-will text gardener to arrange appointment at weekend
-will keep head down to avoid nasty boss having a go

lulabelle

Grrrr so today has not really been a success.

Found it v hard to motivate self after chased agent re jobs and there appears to be no interest. Makes me feel v trapped as can't get off this rock.

I shall just have to keep trying.

Forgot to text gardener

Went to supermarket as out of cheese and mr heartbreak was there at the till when I was walking round. I don't know if he saw me but I pretended to be on the phone then sashayed off down the aisle.

Went for the cheapest sliced cheese they have. £1.93 for 10 slices. Am sure can get it cheaper if grate own but I prefer the slices and it means I don't buy sandwiches from shop (which ranged between £2.99 and £4.60) so figure it's a bargain!

RosaBernicia

How many agencies are you with? Most of them that I've come across aren't very proactive so unless there is some kind of exclusive agreement I'd sign up with every one in sight. And use the jobs websites. And make full use of LinkedIn (which agencies and HR depts do appear to use, they probably love it as it does all the work for them - I've had about three contacts while not even looking - plus it gives you a nice link you can send on with email enquiries instead of having to attach a CV... I have trouble getting everything on 2 pages now!).

Grrr to Mister Heartbreak - his loss I'm sure.


Rosa xx

lulabelle

Thanks Rosa. To be fair I'm with a few including a mate of mine who has been useless! Must give him a kick up the bum!

Was supposed to be in for 8 today (apparently were to lead from the front) but can't face it so going in for 830. Don't know why but can't wake self up at the moment!

So money saving: mate who I've not seen in about 2 months (as she went away for a month after breaking up with her husband) wants to go out tomorrow night - arghhhhh! I really want to catch up with her (even though I'm having lunch with her and the other girls in our group tomorrow) but I don't really want to drink (as I want to start fitness regime Saturday morning) and don't want to spend! So I might say in advance I'll come but only for an hour or so and drink becks blue (non-alcoholic beer) and just hope it doesn't end in disaster.

I've also decided to completely stop looking for a bloke and that includes no longer using online dating sites. I think I've enough on my plate at the moment and am going to sort out my goals and life without worrying about it because being proactive is getting me nowhere but hassle anyway!

Odd though re mr heartbreak (as a friend pointed out to me last night) didn't see him once in the 3 months after he announced he was going back to his ex then after he's dumped I've bumped into him twice in 2 weeks. Wish he'd just leave the rock!!!!!

lulabelle

Omg so late yesterday nice boss asked if I'd take his place at a wine tasting which I did. Totally free obviously including food. However we ended up going partying somewhere else and bumped into a chap I know who works in a bar I go to. Recollection is hazy but I think he was saying lots of nice things about me then this morning I woke up next to him - arghhhhhh!

Thing is: he's only 22! (I'm 35). Oops!!!!!! But to be fair, he's hot and a good laugh

So today was a complete write off work wise. I also spent on chocolate, sausage roll and latte to get me through this am (£3.40) and then had a girls lunch (£11 but to be fair got steak chips and a lemonade for that) but came home at 3 and not going out tonight now although might go the take away.

22. I am naughty! To be fair, I don't look 35, more like 30 but still - I am officially a cougar!

Buffythedebtslayer

Absolutely brilliant Good Work XXx

lulabelle

Ha, thanks Buffy. It's not going anywhere as he's too young (and immature) but was a giggle and had a laugh with the girlies at lunchtime filling them in! After this and hilarious one a couple weeks ago (went on a date with a 29 year old and he was snogging my face off by my garden gate in the pouring rain. He then said "ooh isn't this romantic, you look like Kate winslet in titanic" !!!!!! - he has been given the nickname "jack") my friends say my love life is turning into a Taylor swift song!!

lulabelle

So, quick update.

It's quite depressing so I'm sorry. This moving to London or Bristol thing is just not looking realistic. I think I've been out of the game too long that my cv is just not generating any interest. Feeling very trapped. I don't want to fester here alone.

Had a horrendous illness Sunday which kept me off work until tues pm. Was supposed to be signed off until today but went in tues pm and yesterday ended up being dumped with something which meant no lunch break and working until 745 and now heading back in for 730 to finish it off. Evil boss being difficult to me as was off (I genuinely couldn't get out of bed)

On the plus side has meant didn't spend anything since sun other than medicine etc which was only £5

Have been asked to black tie do by client tomorrow night and even though don't feel up to it am going to do my share of marketing. Plus it's all paid for and charging cabs to and from venue to work. Am not going to drink though as still poorly and want to get well again. Plus I really want to give up booze totally for a while

lulabelle

3 NSD's in a row! Tomorrow won't be spend free as have lunch with my girlies but hopefully the evening client thing will be nothing.

Am proud of self as really fancied Chinese on way home but that would've been £8.70 and I had stuff in fridge so saved money and much healthier to eat at home.

Still no job opps so looking like will need to sit tight for a while. Positive is pay here good so means can save but downside is unhappiness although it's not always so bad. I think part of it is don't have enough belief in self. Was given something urgent to do yesterday and which required thought and research and it seems to have been viewed as quite good.

lulabelle

Oh ps - hoping mr heartbreak won't be at this thing tomorrow night but he may well be as it's his area of work whose annual dinner it is!