What to do - Mother drinking .....

Skinnymoo

Thank you I would never abandon her.........I will be around whatever happens.

aileth

Skinnymoo wrote: »

Thank you for your replies..... she is open abt how much she drinks, there used to be a stage when I would call in the evening and sometimes not notice she'd had a drink, she might have started to drink abt 6 in the evening. Them days are gone she sounds slurred now and is often weepy. She says she can't stop drinking again, at least twice she has given up for at least a year.... when my step dad had dementia in the final stages she didn't drink, never have I known her drink to this extent. She has a friend, and my auntie who she goes the sauna with, she goes swimming very early in the morning with friend and shopping trips.... my brother comes up to stay now, though I thought he was a temptation to drink as they go the pub and buy a dear gin, Kendericks? £9 a shot!!! But she actually said when he was here, she couldn't drink as much in front of him. She has said it would easier to be gone and floating on a cloud, no worries etc.... I have thought today whether my nagging makes it worse, I am going to try and not nag.

Two things here. I really think, even though she says she doesn't miss him, that she is suffering seriously from bereavement and is missing him a lot more than she thinks.

However, you said when he was here, she couldn't drink as much in front of him? Do you mean your step-dad or her brother? If it's the step-dad, maybe she's completely taken aback by the freedom she now has and has dove in head-first and catching up for many long years alcohol free. When my grandmother died, the first thing my grandfather did was book a load of holidays as they were unable to go on them when she was alive.

If it's the brother however, have you talked to him about her issues? He may be able to give her the support she needs as a sibling if she feels ashamed of drinking in front of him.

Alcohol is a well-known depressant, so combined with grieving that would explain the weepiness, but she is very depressed if she is saying that it would be easier to be dead effectively. Combine that thought process with alcohol, no wonder she is in such a pickle.

If she has admitted she has a problem and has actually admitted that she can't stop drinking, your first step would be the AA I would've thought. and she can learn coping mechanisms, alcohol avoidance mechanisms, and get to the root her problems.

Skinnymoo

Yes you are right, she says she drinks as much now because she can, now my step dad is not here.
She is very open abt it, her doctors knows, she as had the same doc for years which is good... she went somewhere last week to talk and is going somewhere this Friday, though she thinks it was more for something to do than to tackle her drinking.... so the authorities are aware of her. Her brother was an alcohoicl and died at 52, same age as my brother whose death we found out abt yesterday.