Lottery winnings

sfm82

The reason why she got so many negative responses was because of her comments regarding his lifestyle and what he chose to do with his winnings.

Remember we only get to see one side of the story here so there is no need for her to bring about personal opinions about her ex to the forum no matter how bitter she is.

Perhaps she would have received a more direct response if she had simply phrased her question:

" My daughters father has won 18k in the lottery. He pays maintenance through the CSA is it worth contacting them to see if any of this can be added to her maintenance as a variation?'

Then she would not have felt the need to apologise and this thread would not need to be as long as it is.

tiggerkian

CSAworkerx wrote: »

Im astounded at these responses, Some people in this thread need to bloody get off there high horse im disgusted with some of the replys.

This person asked a question and just got abused, To answer it, No your not entitled as its only 18k, but variations have happend in the past when a sudden mass of money has occured.

I apologise needlessly for some of these responses, And i wish you luck in the future.

maybe its because the people who have responded, and been a bit harsh, have been trampled over by an ex partner or the system at some point in their lives....just a thought..

Csa_Survivor

CSAworkerx wrote: »

Im astounded at these responses, Some people in this thread need to bloody get off there high horse im disgusted with some of the replys.

This person asked a question and just got abused, To answer it, No your not entitled as its only 18k, but variations have happend in the past when a sudden mass of money has occured.

I apologise needlessly for some of these responses, And i wish you luck in the future.

That's a bit strong, people have only responded in a strong way to what was, lets face it, a very insensitive question to a lot of people I would imagine, surely you can see how a question like that will rub people up the wrong way?

seven-day-weekend

It just sounded greedy and full of green-eyed monster. That's why people got a bit short. I apologise to the OP if this is not what was meant, it is not always easy to convey feelings via a keyboard

Csa_Survivor

[QUOTE=

Perhaps she would have received a more direct response if she had simply phrased her question:

" My daughters father has won 18k in the lottery. He pays maintenance through the CSA is it worth contacting them to see if any of this can be added to her maintenance as a variation?'

[/QUOTE]
Yeah I suppose she could have rephrased her question like this, but personally I would have seen straight through that too, ha ha!
Many apologies michaela888203 if you read this but some of us are too long in the tooth and cynical too, especially when it comes to this kind of topic. A lot of us have been ripped off on CSA1 so we are bound to get disgruntled by someone wanting to take over and above their maintenance payments from the ex, that crosses the line really. Regards.

CSAworkerx

Its allright saying "well if she worded it diffrent" ive been here a while now, and in the vast majority of threads people are referencing there ex partners new life styles / partners / children, I just find it deeply hypocritical that someone new posts a question and people ive seen do pretty much the exact same in other threads jump down this persons throat, The whole csa process is naturally going to stir up anger and emotion, but that gives no excuse for "some" of the replys.

duchy

As a PWC I got money from my ex to support my child. Needed money ! The OP appears to be able to save it all for her daughter's future -lucky lady ! I certainly couldn't have afforded to do that.

OP if as a teenager you are finding your daughter more expensive to keep can I suggest (in the nicest possible way) that you use her child support for it's purpose which is to support your child now whilst she is a child rather than try and build her a nest egg for later (or do a bit of both).

As for her Dad if trips to the F1 are more important than trying to repair his relationship with his daughter....well there's not much you can do about that except be a good Mum and give her all the love and security she needs.

sfm82

As for her Dad if trips to the F1 are more important than trying to repair his relationship with his daughter....well there's not much you can do about that except be a good Mum and give her all the love and security she needs.

I found this unnecessary, you're making a judgement about a person and situation you know nothing about which is essentially what is wrong about OP's posting comments about the lifestyles of their partner and what their relationship with their children may be.

But like CSAworkerx says it's largely typical of posts on this forum as dealing with money after a breakup can be stressful and bring about a lot of judgement and jealousy.

Csa_Survivor

CSAworkerx wrote: »

Its allright saying "well if she worded it diffrent" ive been here a while now, and in the vast majority of threads people are referencing there ex partners new life styles / partners / children, I just find it deeply hypocritical that someone new posts a question and people ive seen do pretty much the exact same in other threads jump down this persons throat, The whole csa process is naturally going to stir up anger and emotion, but that gives no excuse for "some" of the replys.

Come off it, you still have to use your head a bit and think about how what you say will be perceived (and most importantly the audience you are speaking to). On the basis of what you say there, I should not expect a backlash if I join up as a newbie on Mumsnet and ask the following question:
Hi ladies, I hope you don't mind me joining your forum but I would like some advice please and I hope you can help. The thing is, I recently won 18K on the lottery and I dont know what to do with it at the moment? The thing is I have not told my ex wife or daughter because I pay my maintenance so it has absolutely nothing to do with them has it? Please can anyone give some advice on holidays abroad, I have also been thinking about going on a couple of Cruises, any advice please would be most welcome!
Do you seriously think I would not come out of that one scratched to pieces!
Otherwise, I agree with the principal of your comment.

DUTR

duchy wrote: »

As a PWC I got money from my ex to support my child. Needed money ! The OP appears to be able to save it all for her daughter's future -lucky lady ! I certainly couldn't have afforded to do that.

OP if as a teenager you are finding your daughter more expensive to keep can I suggest (in the nicest possible way) that you use her child support for it's purpose which is to support your child now whilst she is a child rather than try and build her a nest egg for later (or do a bit of both).

As for her Dad if trips to the F1 are more important than trying to repair his relationship with his daughter....well there's not much you can do about that except be a good Mum and give her all the love and security she needs.

Indeed, it takes 2 people to repair, and if the daughter is not interested then sadly it is her loss.

Csa_Survivor wrote: »

Come off it, you still have to use your head a bit and think about how what you say will be perceived (and most importantly the audience you are speaking to). On the basis of what you say there, I should not expect a backlash if I join up as a newbie on Mumsnet and ask the following question:
Hi ladies, I hope you don't mind me joining your forum but I would like some advice please and I hope you can help. The thing is, I recently won 18K on the lottery and I dont know what to do with it at the moment? The thing is I have not told my ex wife or daughter because I pay my maintenance so it has absolutely nothing to do with them has it? Please can anyone give some advice on holidays abroad, I have also been thinking about going on a couple of Cruises, any advice please would be most welcome!
Do you seriously think I would not come out of that one scratched to pieces!
Otherwise, I agree with the principal of your comment.

You are correct (IMO) my situation is sort of similar to the OP's ex, earlier in the year, the Mum had got in touch , all nice as pie, then occasionally there was the tap of "would you like to contribute to" this or that?
I contribute every week which I reminded her of, and had to add I would rather give the money to charity as at least I would get a thanks for it.
My contribution went to getting and stabling a horse (essential eh?) the final straw from 'them' was an overpriced trip to Florida, I've just completed part of my retail therapy collecting another brand new car with lots of options, but hey, nobody is going cold or hungry and at least I'm not being treated like a loser.