Dilemma over sons mobile?

Melonade

Afternoon all,

Just want some opinions as I might not be thinking straight right now, about to flip my lid actually

14 year old Son has iphone (old one handed down) on a rolling £10 per month contract that I pay for. He never has it on him, can't get in touch with him after school etc. I warned him yesterday that if this happens again I will cancel the contract. He only uses it once a week on Saturday when he needs picking up after being out with friends.

Just tried to ring him, straight to answer machine and I found the phone under his pillow either switched off or out of battery :mad:

I have already stopped his pocket money because he doesn't bother doing the things I asked him to do each week to earn it!!

Am I being unfair or not?

sophieschoice

I think you are being unfair.
It's wonderfully refreshing not to hear of a teenager who is constantly on the phone!
He's obviously independent and grown up enough not to feel he needs one

LE3

did he want a phone, or did you think he should have one?

Many 14 yr olds are a bit phone obsessed, esp if it's an iphone so why not talk to him & find out if there is a problem (maybe he is being bullied by text or something)
If he says he just doesn't need it, why not suggest that he sells the expensive iphone, buys a cheap Tesco PAYG phone (one of those put £10 on & only top up when you need to ones!) that he can use on the odd occasions he needs it & spend the rest of the money on something he really wants - like a new game or a trip to cinema with his mates or .....

hazyjo

Agree with above - don't force him to use a mobile phone!

Is he generally out late, or is he bad at sticking to deadlines, or maybe he feels you're too over cautious/protective and he'd rather not have a phone than have you ringing for things that really could wait. Are you hanging around waiting for a call about picking him up? To do dinner?

I managed well into my late 20s, possibly even 30, without a mobile phone.

Maybe time to let him have some more independence - inside and outside the home. If you're waiting to get his dinner for example, let him do it himself if he's the only one eating! If he doesn't keep you informed of things you think you need being informed about, he'll have to make his own plans/decisions, won't he...

Jx

PintAndAPie

Good for him. Yes, you are being unfair.

tea_lover

If he doesn't use it why not change to PAYG, would save loads.

Melonade

Thanks for your reply,

I'm just going to add a few more details though...

He says he's not allowed to take the phone to school. This is not true, he is not allowed to have the phone switched on in school.

The phones battery isn't great and he's using this as an excuse for me to buy him a new iphone 5c (which isn't happening) my response is that the phone should be switched off in school so it won't be using the battery. He doesn't look after this iPhone and I'm not getting into an expensive 2 year contract for him to either misplace it/break it/not use it.

He regularly uses his friends phones to ring me when he wants something or to stay out longer.

When he does bother to charge it he chats nonsense with his mates!! But can't take it into school?

I'm kind of fed up with paying his contract for him to make four phone calls a week!!

Thanks for the reply, maybe I am being unfair to him.

LEJC

My son never uses his mobile....and its always out of battery when needed...

I think some children dont use them...

PAYG...is the way forward...just checked and the last credit of £10.00 was put on in june and has £9.70 still remaining!!!!!

there have been times where I've really needed to get a message to him and the fact that his mobile isnt switched on has prevented him from getting it....I guess we've just got used to agreeing timings with him with no option to change at late notice!

Although in your situation I would refuse to take a call from a friends mobile and expect him to use his own to make contact

Melonade

Also just to add he was assaulted a few months ago and ended up with a fractured eye socket and blurred vision. He regularly see's the lad that done it and he doesn't like this. He agrees that it would be best to have the phone in his pocket in case he needs us to pick him up from somewhere.

He is on a contract because he was using his pay as you go credit in a few days (that was costing me a fortune) so now he has loads of minutes and texts.

I don't mither him with calls and pretty much leave him to go out with his friends. BUT it would be nice to know if he's going somewhere after school, when he does bother to let me know he uses a friends phone!

Melonade

LEJC wrote: »

Although in your situation I would refuse to take a call from a friends mobile and expect him to use his own to make contact

The night he was assaulted he didn't have his phone!!! He called from his friends phone, his friend had a new number and I nearly didn't answer it.

They change numbers so often that I have to answer because I'm not sure if it'll be my son or not.

Hes been a pain in the backside lately and honestly the world revolves around him. It's always "want, want, want" and it's never enough when he gets it.

I'm just fed up with paying for something he "needs" and then doesn't use.

LEJC

In fairness you posted the comments about your son being assulted after I had made the comment over not accepting calls from friends mobiles..I think perhaps what you should try and encourage him to do is make calls from his phone not friends phones...
In my opinion the use of friends phones is for emergencies only...not to contact you routinely....
is he being bullied at all...other son went through a phase where he wouldnt take his phone to school or switch it on because he was receiving a few uncalled for texts ....it might be something to consider.