Do I need a cohabitation agreement?

StuC75

The OP may have critical Illness cover, since that could happen regardless of being in a relationship or not..

FBaby wrote: »

On the issue of 'equality' what would happen if you feel ill and could affordthe mortgage and half of the bill? How would you feel if he then said that he didn't have to support you because of your agreement? You might see yourself losing out but how do you know that would always be the case?

Kookygirl

Thanks again for the responses, it has been helpful listening to other people's experiences of the situation and how they have handled it.

I do have cover, so that is not an issue, on the other hand I know my other half does not, and if he were unable to work for any reason I would have to support him, which I am more than happy to do.

I am now certain that a cohabitation agreement is a sensible and necessary thing to do. Whilst it may be awkward now for the relationship, at the end of the day, if my partner means what he says and that he will never make a claim on the house then that cohabitation agreement would never come out of the filing cabinet. Trust is a beautiful thing, but when relationships start to breakdown, attitudes can and often to do change and people surprise you. The cohabitation agreement is like an insurance policy, hopefully you'll never need it, but at least you're covered if you do.

Regarding how much a partner should contribute, it's clear that everyone has a different view on it, which is great as it gives you things to think about. There are people on here who lean towards my point of view and receive more than half of the bills and some who don't. To be honest if I suggested that he paid half the bills only he would probably say no because it's a tiny amount and he is the kind of guy who likes to ensure that he is contributing in the relationship which I suspect is why he suggested paying the amount he suggested. Otherwise he could have quite easily suggested half the bills. I still haven't fully decided what I will accept (it won't be more than his offer, but it's unlikely to be much less) but I want to seek the solicitors advice on this also.

FBaby

I still haven't fully decided what I will accept

Your choice of words do come across as quite controlling. Is it about what you agree, or what you accept? I think there is a thin line between protecting yourself, and wanting to control the relationship.

I remember the time my partner referred to the money I was transferring towards the mortgage and bills as rent money. I got very angry. It was only words from his perspective, but from mine, it was a very controlling way of perceiving the relationship. We were both wrong, me in terms of the intentions I attached to the words, him for using them in the first place, but sometimes you do have to be careful as you come across.