Do I need a cohabitation agreement?

FBaby

Having been in both positions, i can see both sides of the coin. I agree that anyone would want to protect what they have worked many years to secure. However, it feels a bit of manipulative behaviour when it goes on for years. However, in the end, all are responsible for their own self and if both parties agree, then that's what matters.

This move would mean he would be living in a much better location, living rent and mortgage free, consequently saving hundreds a month on what he is currently paying now, whilst I receive 'pocket money' in return. The financial benefit to me in this move would be minimal, and to him huge, and that seemed to me also unfair (rightly or wrongly). I can't help but feel that the financial benefit to moving in together should be much more 'equal'

I do find this quite shocking though. It is one thing to agree on an agreement to protect one's assets, but to actually feel resentful that one party gains financially from it is quite another matter. So what if he gets to live with you at low cost in a better area? That's the choice YOU are making and don't you want that for him? It doesn't change anything for you, you are not paying more because he is moving in with you. It sounds almost like the only reason you want him to move in with you is to lower your costs. That I find to be quite insulting and if I was your partner, I would tell you to get lost.

ali-t

barbiedoll wrote: »

You can't have it both ways though, can you? You want your partner to pay his share but you want to protect your investment and any equity in your home. Either you let him pay more and possibly have a claim on your property if you do split, or you pay more and get that warm glow that comes from being a homeowner!

Not true. The agreement can say whatever you want it to say. Mine completely protects my house and the monthly sum my partner pays me which is not detailed on the agreement is not half the bills.

Op when looking at costs you should do an spa and you will see things you may not have considered e.g. contents insurance, internet, cable TV package, costs for any pets etc. It is amazing how it all adds up.

bugslet

Kookygirl wrote: »

Hi,

have read here and there that a partner could have claim to a share of your property in the event of a break-up if they have financially contributed to the maintenance or mortgage of your home. .

I have some experience of this issue. To be brief:

I lived with my partner for about 13 years in a house that was in his name.

In early 2004, he sold it to me for the remainder of the mortgage on the property. We both had straightforward wills made out to each other for all our worldly possessions, and after 19 years felt comfortable with the arrangement.

6 months later he met some tramp:o and after a couple of horrible months, he decided to move out and live with her.

To quote my solicitor, "He could try and go to court, but realistically, he would get at most about £10k".

I know it's seen as terribly unromantic to decide what will happen in the event of a breakup, but things can go wrong in a moment and it can be extremely unpleasant for one of the partners.

P.S. He came back - possibly because he had bu88er all! - and we actually made a go of it and had some happy times together until he fell ill.

fluffnutter

burnoutbabe wrote: »

But some little cutey comes along and why shouldn't they get to share your property and hard work and in fact, lets give them half if it doesn't work out.

I know you're being a bit facetious, but yeah, that's what relationships are about - sharing. If you don't trust someone enough not to stitch you up if you split, then why are you with them? Choose someone with more integrity.

DigForVictory

I'm all for love, trust and carefully worded documentation.

I was one of the few teenagers I knew who had a Will (it was a birthday present from a solicitor relative, took us all of 10 minutes as I had s0d all at the time & his laptop was loaded to go).
It's part of who I want to be to check, and have the paperwork nailed.

I'll probably be blindsided by Fate on the way home tonight but at least my family will be as safe as a few bits of paper can make them.

bugslet

Fluff, I thought I had someone with integrity, that would, if he wanted to split up would do so properly and not betray my trust and attempt to take half of my business off me by underhand means. But when lust flies in and the new love can do no wrong, then integrity flies out.

I hated that woman in a way that I wouldn't have thought possible ( yes, I know, I should have hated him more, but emotionally speaking at a time like that, it's very difficult and illogical) and I would rather have given the house and the business that I slogged ( and I do really mean slogged ) to build up, than let her have a penny.

If he had called it a day without that level of betrayal, then yes, it would have been a split.

lika_86

Kookygirl wrote: »

I can't help but feel that the financial benefit to moving in together should be much more 'equal'.

But the financial benefit isn't equal as at the end of the day, you are building equity by way of your outgoings each month (ie the mortgage payments), if he pays all the bills, his outgoings are getting him nothing.

He is choosing to live with you, not to better his lifestyle, that is incidental and may not be his choice even if he could afford it on his own.

Person_one

fluffnutter wrote: »

I know you're being a bit facetious, but yeah, that's what relationships are about - sharing. If you don't trust someone enough not to stitch you up if you split, then why are you with them? Choose someone with more integrity.

The issue with that is that it takes time to trust somebody enough to fully share.

That's why people don't get married on the second date.

FBaby

On the issue of 'equality' what would happen if you feel ill and could affordthe mortgage and half of the bill? How would you feel if he then said that he didn't have to support you because of your agreement? You might see yourself losing out but how do you know that would always be the case?

StuC75

What about Half the Bills, and a modest 'lodgings amount'...have this paid into a separate account (i.e. not what you pay the mortgage out from) and this becomes a savings \rainy day \ slush fund for you as needed..

In my case, previously completed transfer of equity to get Ex off mortgage - So quite happy for now to have my own place..

GF is renting separately (but landlord has that on the market).. Have had 'half sensible' conversations about what would do were she to move in - more a what if then a when (or that's my take on it)..

We kind were in agreement along the lines of 'half' what her current rent\bills were as a 'rent' to me (with no take on the house).. So would both benefit in that she would be only paying half of what is presently paying.. so would both benefit financially..

In the case of the OP falling ill I would assume that she has her own illness cover in place as to if this was to happen when wasn't in a relationship would still have to make payments - so FBaby comment isn't of any relevance..

Think peoples views on this will vary upon own Life Experiences - those that have been through it (where I fall), and those who haven't.