moving and regretting it - practicalities of moving again so soon

Dave_the_Ginger_Cat

Once your grief is a little less raw, I'd offer to foster a mother cat who is about to give birth. That will be so absorbing, and you'll have the joy of watching kittens being born.

I would also plan something nice for Christmas - have a an open house, invite the neighbours

yorkshire_terrier_owner

I sympathise. I have been in my new house 6 months and am only just starting to feel more settled.

With regard to your cats, my previous house was on a main road and one of my cats was run over there (fortunately she was not killed) - but she was run over on a quiet side street and not on the main road at the front. I then lived there for a further 8 years without any of my cats being subsequently hurt by cars.

What I will say is that the nurse at my vets who specialises in cats told me at that time that statistically cats who live in cul-de-sacs are more likely to be run over as they are less fearful of cars and can be complacent about roads/cars and are more likely to sit under parked cars etc. She said they see more cats injured/killed by cars from cats who live in quiet roads/areas than those that live on main roads.

hazyjo

I never took to my last house. I loved much about it, but there's something I couldn't quite put my finger on - it sort of felt the wrong way round in some rooms (the lounge, mainly). Never been one for feng shui but now think it does play some part!

The second we had the offer accepted, things started going wrong. My then-husband's dad was diagnosed with cancer within the month (and died soon after), my dad had suffered with it but was back in hospital with it elsewhere within that month too (and since died while we owned the house), my beloved cat died, my marriage broke up (I went totally mental, the house just seemed to unsettle me without me realising). Lots of other things too - illness for people we knew, a few died, suicide attempt by a friend's son, burglaries, the list just went on and on. Was getting to a stage where I had to make lists of what I was worrying/upset about cos I was forgetting some of the major things! What with the five months it took to buy the bl**dy house...

Anyway, after me going pretty much loop-the-loop, I left. Spent most nights at my BF's one bed very basic flat, leaving my four bed, four storey house behind. I was back regularly to stay or see my cats, but I just had to be out for my own sanity. My ex was drinking heavily (partly why I left) and life was just too much for me.

I chose my next house with my heart and it's the first house I've moved straight into and LOVED. It's a perfect lovely house and I love it with all my heart. Sounds strange, but it's 'home'. Haven't felt that for years.

A few years ago, I'd be saying stay - adapt the house so you can love it. But I learnt with that last house that whatever wallpaper you stick up, whatever paint you use, whatever nice furniture you buy, if something unsettles you in a home, it unsettles your whole being.

Never thought I'd say it, but go with with your heart. Maybe give it six months to a year (yes, it can be difficult to sell on in that time as others, plus I've read things where people didn't like their homes to start with, then fell in love with them), but don't stay if you're unhappy.

Hugs re your cat. Can't imagine the grief of losing one like that

Jx

isisini

Sorry to hear about your cat. Such a horrible thing to happen. I think however that moving is always a risky time for cats - I was so worried the first time we let ours out in the new place and he spent the first three months getting in loads of fights with the local moggies (he's very very territorial). Luckily no major injuries. Similarly when my parents moved one of their cats simply left and never came back, even after being kept in for six weeks, when they let her out. So if your other cat is now settled might be better go give your current place a good innings before you decide to move.

Our house had been bought and sold within six months of buying it (it was an auction property - then redeveloped and sold on). We exchanged eventually but the lender (Spanish bank) did ask lots of extra questions about it and it had to go through head office, so you may have some hold ups here.

mumcoll

When I moved into our first 'bought' house, leaving behind a house that I hated due to nasty neighbours, I thought I'd love it. I knew within two days that I couldn't stay as we could hear through the walls. (Even the next doors closing the curtains on brass rails.) Within 6 months the house was on the market and we moved to a detached house and stayed there for 15 years. I think sometimes you just know you won't settle.

googler

Mortgage lenders are reluctant to lend on properties that haven't been owned for less than 6 mths, so unless you can sell to a cash buyer, you may find it difficult or impossible to sell until you've been there six months.

ruggedtoast

My friend's cat was run over and it's tail wouldn't go down.

Just saying.

Perelandra

aliby21 wrote: »

Thanks people, good to know others have doubts after moving too. My problem is the road. I knew it was busy, but thought I could get used to it, and I've tried I really have. But then last weekend my cat got run over. I know, please don't say anything about my stupidity, I am beating myself up enough already. I can't believe that I thought my animal's safety was something I could compromise on, I should've put that top of my house search priorities. My neighbour cheerfully tells me she's had three run over in ten years. I can't face that, and I don't want to live without them - yes I am a mad cat woman - so moving again looks like it is on the cards

Oh... poor cat.

There is another option with cats- some "rescue" cats simply do not want to go outside. Would this be a possible option? Safer for the cat, and doing a good deed by adopting one from a home at the same time.

aliby21

Thanks again everyone. I know it is horrible to be taking comfort from others troubles, but it is helping me to know that I am not alone in feeling unsettled after a move, for whatever reason. And I will think about getting another cat but one that doesn't 'do' outdoors, maybe older and doddery like my remaining one. Though me and the remaining one are definitely two grumpy old women, and the one that got squashed was our little bundle of fun that was stopping us getting too crotchety.

hazyjo wrote: »

A few years ago, I'd be saying stay - adapt the house so you can love it. But I learnt with that last house that whatever wallpaper you stick up, whatever paint you use, whatever nice furniture you buy, if something unsettles you in a home, it unsettles your whole being.

Yup, agree with this! I'm an natural pessimist, and I'd given myself a good talking to when I moved about focusing on the positives, and I'd been doing so, so well up till now. Losing the cat seems to have just brought it all tumbling down and got me completely unsettled. Being realistic though I can't do anything for another three months (with Flea's information about back to back selling), which is probably just as well.

Soleil_lune

Not gonna lie: never heard of the back to back selling...