Even a basic wedding is so expensive!

FBaby

When I added all the expected costs soon after we got engaged, I was horrified. However, what I discovered is that the costs were spread over the months before the wedding, so in the end, by being careful and budgeting well, it didn't have the impact I was worried about. We had 6 months to spread the costs. 1st month we paid the full registry, 2nd month we paid for the invitations (made myself) and the dress (bought on ebay for a little over £100 and was absolutely delighted with it). 3rd month was the ring for OH (mine came from my grand mother). 4th was the first deposit on hotel. 5th was the cake (only the base, I decorated it myself), the shoes. My OH paid for the hire of his suit, and my kids' outfit (all on ebay for under £100). Last month was the reminder of the hotel costs, car (paid £35 for taxi which decorated the car beautifully removing all reference to it being a taxi) and flowers (bought two £10 bouquets from Tesco and arranged myself with the help of a few more flowers from the garden). We got married and are pleased to say that we have no debts at all from it. It just mean we can start saving again!

If you can't do that in the timescale you have given yourself, can you set the date a bit later so you have more months to gradually pay for it all?

ognum

BlushingRose, well done for looking at the costs and whether you can afford them before diving into a big wedding,it really does make sense to think about what you can afford first. Although a wedding is really important to some it's the way you and your partner consider you marriage that is the key to happiness.

I like others would stick with the economy version, get your family and friends involved and I'm sure they will help you have a fab day. The more budget weddings I have been to are actually the most memorable and most fun.

Good luck and enjoy!

ska_lover

I think whatever your budget, ASKING guests to pay for their own meal does look a bit lame IMO - However, people WILL ask you what you want for a wedding present, and you can always say - cash.

What about a reception party at home? If you had a couple of slow cookers on the go, filled one with chilli, and the other with curry, or something of the sort, a big pot of rice and you are good to go, very cheap. A few bottles of plonk, & ask people to BYOB. (You could start buying bits for this in with your weekly shop for weeks coming up to it)

A big/expensive wedding is not the key to happiness - and anyone that thinks that it is, really shouldn't be getting married, as proper happiness is nothing to do with money or extravagance, or a show of wealth, real or borrowed. You will always get people who mock cheaper ideas, (as we did when we got married earlier this year) - we had one wedding guest say they were shocked at the simplicity of our wedding, and was nothing compared to the 'proper' wedding she is planning for next year. To that I said that ' Oh that's a shame, me and OH do not measure our love in monetary terms..' and that shut her cake hole haha!

thick_tom

these days - do you have to get married ??

ska_lover

thick_tom wrote: »

these days - do you have to get married ??

No, but people still want to

Mojisola

thick_tom wrote: »

these days - do you have to get married ??

There are some good legal reasons to do so. You can achieve most of the protection other ways but those would also cost.

angelil

If you're planning on staying married for your entire lives, then if you want to wear rings for 30+ years, they NEED to be an investment. You COULD buy them from Argos, but you know what they say: buy cheap and you buy twice (minimum!).

There are cheaper options too regarding food, for example: what about a hog roast, a pub lunch or afternoon tea?

You can also cut down costs by marrying out of season (i.e. not in the height of summer) and on a weekday, as well as by making certain things yourself (e.g. place cards/decorations) and omitting other unnecessary items (e.g. save the date cards).

In short, it can more or less cost as much as you want it to. The marriage matters more than the wedding anyway.

Weequine

Budget is one thing that put us off but we decided just to scrap the meal altogether. We're getting married early evening and have a party straight after. The savings are huge, a few thousand. We just worked out what we could afford each month to pay toward a wedding, multiplied it by the number of months we wanted to wait to get married and that was our budget.

There are ways of cutting costs, which can make your guests feel involved and double as a wedding present, if you have friends or family with talents:

A DJ/Singer
Someone good at baking for the cake
Someone creative who can make a bouquet or look at the top thread in this forum for making your own
Someone who will do you a buffet if you purchase the goods
Save by getting married in December - venues have Chistmas decorations which decorate the venue in themselves
Someone who is a keen photographer with a good quality camera or alternatively, some photography students will do it for nothing - they'll give you a CD of your images to print yourself and use their copies to build their portfolio

74jax

AlexLK wrote: »

It's the marriage that matters not the wedding , why do you want to get married? (Not a judgement in the slightest just wondering your reasons as you have already been together ten years.)

Aw that's my signature :beer:

Trixsie1989

ska_lover wrote: »

A big/expensive wedding is not the key to happiness - and anyone that thinks that it is, really shouldn't be getting married, as proper happiness is nothing to do with money or extravagance!

That's is so true! I actually said that to someone myself the other day. There are a few of us getting married within months of each other and we've all got different budgets and had different things that we wanted but one of the girls was getting stick coz her wedding is so cheap etc.im not being funny but we all have a different idea of what a wedding should cost and what we are prepared to spend on different things. Even if someone thought that my budget was making me look cheap I would expect them to keep there mouths shut and just be nice coz at the end of the day it's my day not theirs! Do what makes you happy and what you guys want. But it's only one day when it all comes down to it xxx