Even a basic wedding is so expensive!

BlushingRose

We are looking to get married next year, but after putting out some feelers today, I can't see it happening.
Just the basics are just so expensive - the register office fees and stuff -= £200, Rings = £150 - £200...and that's before one even thinks about guests and stuff.
Would people be offended if we invited everyone we wanted but asked them to buy their own meals later on, do you think?

CompBunny

Remember only the legal fees are mandatory - everything else is optional. Although thats hard to remember when people seem to think of a wedding as a groom in tails, bride in an expensive dress, a wedding cake, posh car, etc etc!! Personally, if someone invited me to be part of their wedding day I'd happily pay for my own meal

BlushingRose

Oh yes, I know, but I'm thinking of the basics - fees, rings, something nice to wear on the day...still too much, it appears.

purple45

My sisters wedding was the best one ever! She bought a dress from ebay that was stunning and as her bridesmaid I just wore a lovely dress I'd already got. We organised the registry office, we had close friends and some family stay at our house and after the service we went for a meal at Pizza Express and then spent the whole weekend partying and eating buffet food at my house. Pizza Express was really good fun and they decorated the table beautifully! The 'Honeymoon Suite' was a gazebo with fairy lights inside in one of our bedrooms!

None of these things was necessarily to save money so much as to do exactly what we thought would be fun, and it was! There weren't wedding presents but everyone contributed in some way...not in a planned way, it just happened like that. People paid towards the meal and food and drinks for the weekend. My Aunty turned her car into the wedding car, and brought a chocolate fountain to the party.

I've been to other weddings where there was just a small pub gathering afterwards. To me its perfectly acceptable. If you want to get married you should be able to do it however you want to without worrying about the 'done thing'. Its the getting married that counts, not the sugared almonds! Your friends and family should be happy for you. Just have an open mind and bounce around some ideas, I'm sure you can come up with a way of doing it that would be achievable and that you'd enjoy.

BlushingRose

Well, I'm hoping so, although the cost of the fees alone are scaring me, let alone anything else. So little spare cash here...and really we shouldn't even be thinking about it, but we will have been together for 10 years, next year, so really it's time.

sarah69696pink

personally I wouldn't like to ask people to pay for their own meals, I'd rather do an afternoon ceremony and BYOB and nibbles back at my house or just hire a room in a pub for drinks and do my own buffet. I think its nice to extend some form of hospitality if you are inviting others to a party. Or alternatively you could invite them to the ceremony and they say you are not doing a reception afterwards but will be going to XX restaurant for a meal and they are more than welcome to also join to help you continue the celebrations, that way you are not saying you are hosting the reception but making it clear that are joining you at their choice to pay for their meal.

DigForVictory

So long as you're very clear
"Please come to our wedding ceremony! We're going for chips after if you want to carry on the fun"

And you have families well briefed: you'll likely find a great deal more happens as people offer things.
It really isn't the wedding that matters - it's the living together afterwards that's the good stuff. Don't let the wedding industry hype get to you - plan what you both really want & let the rest go whistle.
(Including great aunt Marjorie who thinks it isn't a proper wedding if you aren't in floor length white with veil and aspidistra. If she's that fussed, she can fund the fancy dress party.)
You get married *your* way.

Mojisola

CompBunny wrote: »

Remember only the legal fees are mandatory - everything else is optional.

If money is really short, this is all you need.

A ring can be one you already have - my Mum had friends who got married in the war who used a brass curtain ring!

Look in the charity shops for clothes or wear something that you already have or borrow a dress from a friend.

arbroath_lass

Registry office with just two sets of parents? (or not even them!)

You don't need rings at all. If you really want one/them a plain silver band is relatively cheap. You can get a platinum plated silver ring for not much more - looks v. expensive.

Dress? http://www.bhs.co.uk/en/bhuk/category/sale-offers-2270122/wedding-1022623

Party in a community hall (if you really want). Tell people you're doing a buffet and offers of help will flood in.

BUT there is no need to get married just because it's time! Do it if you want to but only IF you want to.

I hope you have a long and happy life together whatever you decide to do/

AlexLK

It's the marriage that matters not the wedding , why do you want to get married? (Not a judgement in the slightest just wondering your reasons as you have already been together ten years.)

Mojisola

arbroath_lass wrote: »

Party in a community hall (if you really want). Tell people you're doing a buffet and offers of help will flood in.

You can tell people that you'd like them to bring a food contribution to a sharing supper instead of buying presents - that way the food is their gift and it doesn't feel as if they are paying for their own meal. Have someone co-ordinate the food offers so that you don't end up with loads of the same thing.