Au pairs from outside the EU

VfM4meplse

Have had a look at this website for some basic financial details on au pairing and taxation.

Economically, why don't more people do it? And how hard is it to recruit from outside the EU? And would a further incentive - such as funding an educational course - be allowable?

(I understand there are issues about who you would trust you child with etc but am assuming that there are more au pairs fit to practice than there are not, and that in this hypothetical scenario you are happy with your selection).

fluffnutter

Because it's middle-class endorsed slave labour. Getting some unqualified girl from overseas who can barely speak the language, separating her from her family and friends and paying her a pittance to look after your spawn so that you can carry on running a fleet of gas-guzzling cars and buggering off to the Maldives twice a year and Val D'Isere for the skiing season, dahhhhling.

DigForVictory

Because recruiting outside EU workers *is* difficult (go on, who's That good at Languages that they can describe the difference between chicken pox & measles?)
And then you have the au pair's cultural, religious & dietary needs to consider, as well as the spoken (& unspoken but gossiped about) views of those like fluffnutter & others a darn sight nearer?!

daisiegg

In an opposite way, my (English) friend went to au pair abroad. She had a fantastic time, made lots of lifelong friends, learnt the language, and it must have given her good experience because when she returned she got accepted into a primary PGCE course (focusing on teaching the language she had learnt) which she had been rejected for twice prior to her year au pairing.

Interestingly, she grew up with au pairs herself, and that didn't put her off wanting to be one; quite the contrary.

Hermia

fluffnutter wrote: »

Because it's middle-class endorsed slave labour. Getting some unqualified girl from overseas who can barely speak the language, separating her from her family and friends and paying her a pittance to look after your spawn so that you can carry on running a fleet of gas-guzzling cars and buggering off to the Maldives twice a year and Val D'Isere for the skiing season, dahhhhling.

I used to work with kids in a very posh area of London and I'm afraid your colourful description exactly describes what would happen! These poor girls would be paid an absolute pittance and would be expected to work all round the clock. I knew a few families where the au pair would actually live in a separate flat with the child so they ended up having no time off. I expect if the parents had to pay them a proper wage it wouldn't be much cheaper than hiring someone over here.

downshifted

We had a Turkish au pair when our daughter was about 11 - I worked and DH started working shifts. She was 26, a qualified lawyer in Turkey, and full of common sense. She came here to learn English so she could do conveyancing for English clients in Turkey and we treated her as part of the family - which she quickly became.

We are still regularly in touch, and when we visited Turkey a few years ago she made us very welcome - she now has her own legal practice.

However, some of the other au pairs she befriended had a much tougher time. She told us of some families who did not eat with their au pairs, but gave them less good food, others who they expected far too much work for the money, including sole charge of young children, and one family who waited til theirs had left the room before opening chocolates or other treats.

There are good and bad families and good and bad au pairs

Any

daisiegg wrote: »

In an opposite way, my (English) friend went to au pair abroad. She had a fantastic time, made lots of lifelong friends, learnt the language, and it must have given her good experience because when she returned she got accepted into a primary PGCE course (focusing on teaching the language she had learnt) which she had been rejected for twice prior to her year au pairing.

Interestingly, she grew up with au pairs herself, and that didn't put her off wanting to be one; quite the contrary.

Completely agree.
I WAS a foreign au-pair in the UK and it is supposed to be absolutely NOTHING like Fluffnuffer describes.
I am sure SOME english people would treat their au-pairs like that, but quite frankly if au-pair came here through an agency such people would not stay on an au-pair list for long.

Au-pair has a STUDENT status and should help with childcare/around the house for around 5 hours a day.
They should be treated like ANOTHER MEMBER of the FAMILY and go to college to study english at least couple of times a week.

The idea is that these au-pairs are students here, who get room, food, care and "pocket" money and in exchange they help with childcare and the house if necessary.

That is who au-pair are supposed to be. NOT your full time nanny, cleaner or a slave!

If I had children I would definitely get an au-pair when they get older. I enjoyed the experience and I think it gave me a lot.

Although, I would only get them from a country where I fully understood the culture and the reasons for au-pairs to come.

Gigglepig

I know people who have been aupairs and families that have had au pairs and all have been quite happy about it. There are some horror stories, but it can be a great way of living in and learning about a new country/culture for a year.

I would love to have an aupair one day, but would consider them a member of the family. It is nice to be able to show someone the country you live in, for children to experience a different language, culture and cooking... To me it isn't about having a servant but more like that the children have an older cousin from abroad staying with them for a year.

On the other hand, I have a friend who was a well paid nanny (not au pair) for a wealthy family in London, and she disliked it. Mainly because she felt the parents did not prioritise spending time with their children or pay that much attention. Not everyone is a good match with the family they are in, and some times there are culture or personality clashes.

Nicki

I am not altruistic enough to want to parent an older child from another country, and to pay them for the privilege. I like my privacy and my family's privacy too much to want to share my space with a stranger.

I am also fussy about who I will allow to look after my children. I would not consider letting someone I had not met in person and interviewed come and live in the family home and look after them, nor would I consider accepting references from a foreign country possibly from referees with no common language with me and no way of checking whether they were genuine, or provided by a friend.

Added to which I agree with fluffnutter that if you are asking someone to do a job of work you should be prepared to pay what that job is worth, and I happen to think that childcare is an important job and should be rewarded properly.

So for all these reasons, I would never consider an au pair.

InsideInsurance

Nicki wrote: »

I am not altruistic enough to want to parent an older child from another country, and to pay them for the privilege.

<snip>

I agree with fluffnutter that if you are asking someone to do a job of work you should be prepared to pay what that job is worth, and I happen to think that childcare is an important job and should be rewarded properly.

So which is it? Do you dont think you should have to pay an au pair or you think you should pay them properly?

My wife was an au pair, though not from the UK nor was an au pair here. Like all jobs there are some great families out there and there are some terrible ones. Undoubtedly there are some great au pairs and there are some bad ones. Certainly her experience was overall positive.

As to hardly speaking the language, again that depends who you get. You can obviously chose to have those that have more basic grip of english or a stronger one though many do the job as a way to improve their language skills and so those at native english speaking level are unusual but not unheard of.

I dont know about agency staff but certainly when she did hers she did video conferences with the initial prospective family and so there was an opportunity to gauge each other as well as getting any show stopper questions answered.

lostinrates

I had au pairs as a child.

Au pairs are meant to live in the family home. If not they are Not au pairs, the point is they are meant to be living as part of the family, not separately from. They also should have time to do their own stuff.

Our family became very close to most of the au pairs, truly closer than many cousins etc and are still on touch with all but one, the one to whom I was closest and was shockingly murdered some years later. .

People who treat au pairs like slaves probably treat any one to the least possible standard.

To those who worry about level of care given....all I can say is I suppose its always luck of the draw who you get as parents(or children) and its a shame we cannot be as picky in our choice with them! My au pairs were super, super people, fun, flawed and normal, caring, and probably cheesed off some of the time.