Blog post - drink driving. Please share

Tiddlywinks

alison10011 wrote: »

Hello, for those who have asked, the passenger had non life threatening injuries and has since recovered fully for which we are grateful. We are also grateful for the swift actions of the emergency services and the amazing care that Helen received at the JR. Some of you are quite right, the blog is one sided, it has been written by someone who misses her cousin and wanted to try to highlight the impact on our family in the hope it might deter anyone from getting in their car after drinking.

As a family we have had to come to terms with the aftermath of Helen's choices - none of which we asked for, or wanted for her. We are living with the consequences of those choices every day.

This blog does not aim to minimise the impact on victims of drink drivers. One of my dearest friends lost her father to a hit and run drink driver and no member of our family condones Helen's actions that night - the fact remain though that if one person reads this and doesn't make the same mistake or thinks twice before getting in a car after drinking then it has made a difference.

Why not then say this on the blog?... it might then read a little more sympathetically to victims of drink drivers whilst still highlighting / trying to deter poor life choices.

Person_one

The OP didn't write the blog, its not hers to change.

alison10011

I don't know how to answer you without sounding heartless but I will try..

The blog was written about the impact the accident has had on *our* family, not others - we all know that SH is ok so perhaps didn't think to add this detail. An oversight maybe? I will contact the writer and ask her to add this.

Tiddlywinks

alison10011 wrote: »

I don't know how to answer you without sounding heartless but I will try..

The blog was written about the impact the accident has had on *our* family, not others - we all know that SH is ok so perhaps didn't think to add this detail. An oversight maybe? I will contact the writer and ask her to add this.

I understand that this was written from the cousin's perspective... but if the reason for writing really is to act as a warning to others then I don't think the way it is written hits the spot.

When reading it, all I hear is a kind of 'fan-zine' plus some excuses for her behaviour - not really hearing much in the way of warnings to others.

alison10011

Yours is one opinion of many different ones. However, I am surprised you think it doesn't act as a warning, what with her being in an intensive neuro rehab centre with life changing disabilities and all...?

But, it is a very emotive subject and one that perhaps I am too close to have perspective on.

go_cat

Wow, that's powerful stuff , I have to say sad as it is for the OPs family anything that gets the message out there about the consequences of drink driving is a good thing.

andygb

alison10011 wrote: »

The blog was written about the impact the accident has had on *our* family, not others - we all know that SH is ok so perhaps didn't think to add this detail.

I think that this is the problem which people have about this blog. It totally glossed over the effect which this accident had on innocent parties, and came across as one big excuse, trying to rationalise the actions of a drink driver.
This has annoyed me, because years ago one of our neighbours used to drink drive every day. He had damaged several vehicles in the road, and I spotted him driving back from the pub on the wrong side of the road.
Then one day, he smashed into my vehicle (outside the house) and wrote it off - he had been down the pub again and was drunk.
His family got together and started a campaign of telling everyone how I had "dobbed him in" to the police, saying that he wasn't drunk, that he was depressed and on medication - he was found to be three times over the limit.
He could have killed someone, but luckily it was only metal which was damaged.
However, to this day the family are still in denial, and even blame his subsequent health issues (caused by excessive drinking and smoking) on my actions.
If this blog had been written in such a fashion, that it was apologising to everyone else who was hurt, the healthcare professionals who have had to deal with the aftercare, the police and fire services who had attended the scene, and most importantly the other passenger who was hurt in the crash - then maybe, just maybe I would have something supportive to say.

January20

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Drink driving - no excuses!

This kind of threads always brings out the judgemental, intolerant comments, the posters who think they are so perfect that they would never do anything wrong, in this case would never put their life or the life of others in danger. The fact is: you never know. You never know how one action, one wrong judgement might affect others.

Instead of people arguing about how bad this girl was, why don't people think about ways to stop drink driving? I worked in pubs for years and saw people come in for happy hour, drink their treble vodkas and then happily and merrily go on their way - in their car.

The law should be changed and there should be zero alcohol when someone is driving. Alcohol affects everyone in a different way. I have 1 or 2 glasses of wine and I can't walk straight, let alone drive!

When a person has had that first glass of alcohol, I don't believe they are able to make decisions clearly. There is peer pressure "oh come on, one more glass won't hurt you" which is more difficult to resist. People top up your glass so they lose count of what you have drunk. And after a couple of drinks it's not so easy to judge how sober you are!

I do not condone drink driving but I am aware enough to realise that the one factor that kills - alcohol - is also what impairs the judgement of a drinker/driver.

ETA: the OP put up a blog written by a family member. Of course, the blog is going to be about that family! What do people expect? That's what blogs are about! Writing about oneself, family, hobbies and own experiences!

dandelionclock30

Depression really impairs judgement as well as alcohol. This young woman deserves to be treated as much as anyone elce. She obviously was'nt thinking straight due to lots of different things.
She didnt set out to deprive someone elce of a hospital bed.
I think people should be a bit less judgemental on this site generally as life often has a way of biting people on the backside and it could be you who loses it for whatever reason. But thats too uncomfortable to think about isnt it?

Person_one

There aren't any excuses for drink driving, however there can be reasons why a person's state of mind is so impaired that they aren't able to think rationally and clearly so they do things that put themselves and others in danger.

(Just being drunk doesn't count, if you know you can't remember not to drive when drunk then make sure you don't have access to a car before your first glass of wine.)