Children - getting older

pebbles88

Helpfulone wrote: »

My daughter left home for a while to live with her then boyfriend - but it didn't work out.

I have to look out for her more than my son - she's always getting into some sort of trouble on facebook and with other women that she's known for a long time. We live in a small village so everyone knows everyone's business.

At 31 she's a grown woman who should know that face ache is more trouble than it's worth. What on earth is the 'trouble' she's getting into with other women (friends??) ...... Is this regular occurrence?

katsclaws

My adult children have had gap years and done postgraduate courses and lived away from home whilst at university.
Now they are saving £1000 each per month for a deposit on a house so are living back at home. We are happy with this.

ognum

katsclaws wrote: »

My adult children have had gap years and done postgraduate courses and lived away from home whilst at university.
Now they are saving £1000 each per month for a deposit on a house so are living back at home. We are happy with this.

This is about being home to become independent though isn't it and once they have saved they will leave.

Well done you for supporting your children but the OPs case sounds very different!

paulineb_2

I didnt leave home until I was 26. Financial reasons being a big part but my mum would have been happy to have had me at home longer.

My brother went away to uni, came back and was in his mid 20s before he moved out for good.

There are lots of people who cant afford to leave home, many people struggle and even some married couples live with parents because they cant afford to get on the property ladder.

In some cultures its normal for extended families to live with one another, I really dont see why its a big deal, just because its not the way some people would live doesnt necessarily mean its a joke.

duchy

I'd be quite concerned that a mature woman of 31 is having public rows on facebook. Most women grow out of that before they hit twenty (usually much younger tho). You can be concerned for your adult children -and rightly so ....but you shouldn't be needing to look out for them or bail them out from petty arguments with "friends". Could you be enabling her a bit do you think ?

katsclaws

ognum wrote: »

This is about being home to become independent though isn't it and once they have saved they will leave.

Well done you for supporting your children but the OPs case sounds very different!

Thanks ognum.

I agree with paulineb, everyone's circumstances are different. If families are happy with their particular set up there is no right or wrong. Living with parents today is a lot different than it was 30 years ago.

paulwellerfan

i was hoping that my daughter would leave home at 18.
Alas shes now 20 and no signs of leaving.
( mind you who would, she doent pay any board and never has done, however buys her own food every now and then.)
i am hoping she will leave by the time she 31 though!!!!!!!!!!!!!

duchy

Maybe she stays BECAUSE you don't insist on keep !!

Helpfulone

pebbles88 wrote: »

At 31 she's a grown woman who should know that face ache is more trouble than it's worth. What on earth is the 'trouble' she's getting into with other women (friends??) ...... Is this regular occurrence?

I don't know how to multi-quote so I'll answer this one.

It's something she tells me about and shows me some of the things written.

I've done my best o make her independent but it's difficult. On the one hand it's hard work but on the other hand I do love my kids.

She pays money every week (though this may change soon as she's been having problems at work).

She hasn't got any disability but she does have an attitude. It honestly doesn't come from me but maybe she has been spoilt over the years.

claretmatt

I know someone who is 35 and still lives at home.

Wind him and his parents up that he'll be there forever.