A tiny triumph

meritaten

I agree with your behaviourist - this dog needs to be with one person and definitely no kids. no reflection on you NAM - he is the wrong dog for you and while a bite in the early days of the relationship could be put down to stress and fear - he is showing aggression to YOU! dogs don't normally bite the hand that feeds them unless severely provoked, and by the sound of it you could have had your face bitten this morning.
This dog has problems, and yes, leaning over or into him seems to be a trigger - but in normal family life this is going to happen isn't it? As much as I would love to say otherwise - the risk is not worth it.



I do feel for you all - including Scampers- but, you must make a decision as a family about how you feel about keeping him.

neveranymoney

I have been in such a tiz, I am strangely calm now. I cried sore to not only the behaviourist, but my mother too. This is so out of character for me that she was a bit flabbergasted and took kids for me overnight, which has been a god send.

My husband is now home from work and is very cross. Don't read that that he is cross with me or the dog - this is the man that kissed the dog and brought him up to bed with him in the mornings when he was on late shifts, he is cross that we have, hand on heart done everything we could and all our time and effort feels like nothing. Cripes, I'm away again typing this. Anyway. He is of the mindset that we cannot take a risk where children are envolved, what if someone leaned over scampers and wasn't looking at his face? He gives no verbal warning and this is not how we want our children to see dogs or dog ownership, as an at times, extremely stressful, tip toeing about experience.

Joansgirl, you are right, every aspect of our lives are dominated by scampers and I could live with that if I wasn't unsure of his temperament.

Meritaten, you have been a great source of strength every time I have posted my whines, as have all of you, so glad other people know what I am going through.

I look round the house and there are scampers bits and pieces everywhere, he wants me to make of him now it is night and that's the usual routine and I am bawling away. He is going to be scared without us and the thought of him in a kennel is crucifying me.

catkins

Neveranymoney, your last post made me cry. You sound like such a lovely person with a lovely family and it must be so difficult for you. You have certainly tried harder and for longer than an awful lot of people would and it so so sad that things haven't worked out.

If you didn't have children maybe you could give Scampers a second chance but you can't risk your children being hurt.

It breaks my heart that so many dogs are so badly treated that it scars them.

I don't honestly know what else to say. I feel sad so can't even begin to imagine how you are feeling but please don't beat yourself up about it. You tried and, as I said, that is more that most people would

neveranymoney

Catkins, you have always been lovely and I know you also know what life is like with a reactive dog. I would love to meet the schmuck who gave such a friendly wee thing a complete going over. The behaviourist knew I was talking myself out of everything and that I can't bear the thought of scampers alone and I know he was geeing me up say about older couples and that someone is right for scampers but we are his family.

I emailed the rescue and stated scampers name, the date we got him (I feel sick at this bit as the other day we said that that was scampers birthday to us and we would have a party for him) and about his dog aggression, his complete lack of socialisation with regards to not only dogs but children, traffic and we weren't made aware of any of this.

Bar mother and the behaviorist, we haven't told a living soul in real life. I feel stupid. I feel horrific for my poor kids, things have been pretty crud of late and I can tell you now, the two of them will be devastated. On a completely unrelated note, my daughter texted about an hour ago that she is the only one not invited to the most popular girls party tonight and she has found this out by pictures splashed all over Facebook. What was it Freddie said? I'm going slightly mad.

Hubby has taken mutt out for a walk, if that man were a dog, he would be a staffy, looks hard but soft as butter. All our phones are filled with scamp in various states of repose, all our texts included something funny or just a note about his wee day.

elsien

Life is sh1te sometimes. The thing is, you're probably going to feel awful whatever you do, one of those situations where you don't feel like you can do right for doing wrong.
All I can say is, I was in bits when TM1 went. Beneath all the crap she was a really lovely dog, on a 1/1 with the curtains drawn and no other dogs within a 5 mile radius. I so desperately wanted it to work out, but the bottom line was however much I wanted that, I was the wrong home for her for any number of reasons, most of them out of my control. I hung onto her for as long as I could while another home was found. And as far as I know, she did find another more suitable home with a more experienced owner with a large garden miles from anywhere. I absolutely hated the idea of her going back into kennels, but it did end up in a better outcome in the end for both of us. Although I also still have a phone full of photos of TM1.
We none of us have crystal balls, you can only do what is best for you and yours. Whatever that is. Sometimes there isn't a good decision, just a least bad one. If it was a friend or relative, what would you be saying to them?

Edit - and all your effort is absolutely not for nothing. Scamps has had a good home for weeks when he could have been languishing in kennels, and you have also done work with him that any future owner can carry on with.

neveranymoney

Thanks elsien, life is utter crud a lot of time. Years wasted wishing to grow up and looking at my mother with utter disgust when she roared at me for using the emersion heater just to wash my hair and over use of the landline - god, I'd go back in a heartbeat, now I know why she said I couldn't have any pets.

It feels really bloody unfair, through no fault of hers, I had a friend who one snowy Christmas Eve (I'm not romanticising , my husband and I took her!) went and bought a working collie pup from a farmer on gumtree. He was riddled with worms, filthy and was brought into a house with three small kids who swung off him from day one. The poor friend in question had suffered a deadful marital breakdown, there was lots of comings and goings, she didn't really need to do much training at all and has ended up with a dog who never needed a lead and lives very happily in a terraced house in an inner city. I shouldn't be so horrid as to compare my situation to anybody else's but we put thought into getting a dog, we all, as a unit were prepared to do allthat responsible dog ownership entails and it still ended up a bit of a mess.

The behaviourist said the right dog is out there for us, wether it be another rescue that has been properly temperament tested or a pup but I don't think I could face putting us through the torment again.

Oh, lord save us all, husband just in. Apparently their walk was 'perfect' up until turning into our street. Two cats were fighting and scampers went ballistic, running into a fence to try and get to them, he was almost on his belly he was 'bunny hopping' to get them and no amount of delicious treats would distract him.

I have found a bottle of captain Morgans. There are no children in this house. I am going to drink it.

meritaten

neveranymoney wrote: »

I have been in such a tiz, I am strangely calm now. I cried sore to not only the behaviourist, but my mother too. This is so out of character for me that she was a bit flabbergasted and took kids for me overnight, which has been a god send.

My husband is now home from work and is very cross. Don't read that that he is cross with me or the dog - this is the man that kissed the dog and brought him up to bed with him in the mornings when he was on late shifts, he is cross that we have, hand on heart done everything we could and all our time and effort feels like nothing. Cripes, I'm away again typing this. Anyway. He is of the mindset that we cannot take a risk where children are envolved, what if someone leaned over scampers and wasn't looking at his face? He gives no verbal warning and this is not how we want our children to see dogs or dog ownership, as an at times, extremely stressful, tip toeing about experience.

Joansgirl, you are right, every aspect of our lives are dominated by scampers and I could live with that if I wasn't unsure of his temperament.

Meritaten, you have been a great source of strength every time I have posted my whines, as have all of you, so glad other people know what I am going through.

I look round the house and there are scampers bits and pieces everywhere, he wants me to make of him now it is night and that's the usual routine and I am bawling away. He is going to be scared without us and the thought of him in a kennel is crucifying me.

you love this dog and I do understand that. but, he isn't safe hun. you will always be 'wary' of him. unless you intend to muzzle him 24/7, I don't honestly see how you can keep him? I hated saying that - I was really rooting for Scampers! but your family and your safety come first.

from what you say of today - this dog has 'issues' and they are deeply rooted. he may or may not have followed up with a 'bite' - but you cant take that risk can you?
I am so sorry NAM - but if it was me I would return him with the warning he CAN be human aggressive as well as dog aggressive. its such a shame as he sounds like a really nice dog! for the right person.

meritaten

your last sentence made me cry - I GET where you come from. BUT! your family safety comes first and I think Scampers needs a different home. I really wish I could say otherwise - but to bare his teeth at you, his 'mum', its not on. there is something not right with this dog. it is probably in his past - but the risk to members of the family .............I personally, wouldn't keep him - I couldn't live with myself if he harmed anyone. and from what you say - he IS likely to do so.

trolleyrun

NAM, I'm so sorry. I'm not sure how to formulate my words, but you tried so hard. You've done everything you could for this dog. However, you cannot risk your family's well-being. I do think you've had more patience with this dog than a lot of people would've had. It's a very difficult decision to make, but I have no doubt in my mind that you'll do what's right for your family.

As others have said already, Scampers will find a home that "fits" (I mean that in a nice way, of course).

Sending you virtual hugs in bucketloads as I think you might need them.

codemonkey

Oh NAM, I feel so bad for you. I was really hoping that Scampers would come good. Sitting here looking at my own Scamp and imagining how I'd feel if I was in your position. Huge hugs. But, it's not like you're rehoming him for a stupid reason. You've done everything you can. You've taken every possible step to keep Scampers, but much as it hurts, you're just not the right home for him and that's OK. It's much better for him to find a new family where he's not so stressed, and for you to not be worrying so much.

Don't lose faith. Somewhere out there, is the perfect dog for your family and you'll be able to give him or her a lovely, happy home, if you chose that's the path for you.