Really in a mess

Bazey

This story appeared in the "arms" about 2 years ago. It was quite good fun until the thread got pulled.

dragonette

Bazey wrote: »

This story appeared in the "arms" about 2 years ago. It was quite good fun until the thread got pulled.

Lol, fair enough! Still stand by my advice though

YoungBaker

Find it a bit funny someone whos so shy and has taken so long to build up the courage to ask this girl out, is confident rnough to basically proposition his male flat mate when he is supposed to be straight.... Fair enough it could happen but not really the work of a shy bloke

LouLou

I don't know why, but when I read the OP, the thought "...and when I took my headphones off, there was a cup of tea next to me" came to mind.

Of course I'm too cynical and assume that high drama stories on forums are likely written by trolls/storytellers/needy people. Sometimes truth can be stranger than fiction, though.

The real red flag for me is a man stating he's never even considered gay sex in any shape or form. Willingly jumping into bed with a guy on impulse seems very, very unlikely. Without any prior thought or inkling about attraction to the same sex? At ALL?!

I know some people go around with the emotional blinkers on, but not to that extent, surely (I'd understand it more if he was zonked out his mind on some substance and was more inhibited because of it, as far as I can see it was "in front of the telly with a beer").

barbarawright

shybloke wrote: »

New user name as this is very personal but I do post on these forums just not on this board. I really hope someone can help.

Bit of background I’m a shy male in my mid thirties. I have a good job and share a flat with my best mate. We became friends when I started at the company I still work for. He was/is a bit of a loner, but I made an effort to get to know him. We clicked and now we share a flat. Last year he was out with some mates and they were mugged. He got beaten up and afterwards struggled with depression. He found work hard and resigned. It’s only been in the last 6 months that he has been coping better and actively looking for work. His family pay his share of the rent but he is always a bit strapped, so doesn’t go out much.

Tuesday evening he was a bit moody when I got home. He’d been mucked around by the job centre and he was fed up not having work. I went out with some old school mates and he tagged along for an hour and approached several pub managers for work. I got home late after having a skin full and he was still up. We talked for a bit and I asked him if he’d ever been in love, as me and my mates had been chatting about this. He finally told me that he had an affair with his lecturer at uni (male) and that they had finished with each other when this guy got another job. I got the feeling that he had taken it hard. He also admitted that he had had some one night stands with both men and women.

I was a bit shocked actually, not because he’s been with blokes, but because I’d pretty much decided that he was a virgin. Then, because I was stupid and drunk, I asked him if he fancied me and he made excuses and went to bed. Yes it was an idiotic thing to say, I’m not proud, but the way he reacted puzzled me. Anyway, when I got back Wednesday he was in a great mood as one of the pubs had offered him part time work. He started tonight which is why I’m posting this now. He went out and got a takeaway and we sat in front of the telly with a beer. I asked him about Tuesday night and he sort of mumbled a bit about being embarrassed and to cut a long story short we ended up in bed together. I’ve never been with a bloke before, never looked at my mate in that way or any guy but it was good I can’t deny it.

I asked him if this was just a one nighter or if he wanted this to carry on. He said that it was entirely up to me, that he wouldn’t push it. Now I don’t know what to do. The thing is it wasn’t just the deed itself, he was really caring and we kissed which was nice. To make things worse on Monday I asked one of the girls at work out. I really like her and we have been chatting on and off on facebook for a while but it’s taken me a while to pluck up the courage to ask her. We are due to go out on Saturday to see a film and have a drink but I sort of feel that I’ve cheated on her already.

So what do I do? Should I still go out with this girl? I feel like it wouldn’t be fair on her as I’m thinking about another man in that sort of way. But I don’t think I’m gay. I don;’t even know if I want to go with him again but it was good and I think I’m still a bit curious. He’s still treating me the same as before all this happened but he obviously has some sort of feelings for me. I don’t want to hurt him either. I actually feel like crying because these are people I care about and I don’t want to muck up their feelings. It’s not their fault. Can anyone help?

Why exactly were you shocked because your assumptions about your friend's private life were wrong?. Since you were wrong about that, maybe, just maybe, you are wrong about his feelings for you now.