What to do in the evenings?

DigForVictory

Draw up a bucket list. (Individually.)

From that, you may both get ideas about things you really want to do before it's all too late. The children are young - you've time to make a start on some long range plans.

When I want to loose an evening, I work on the family tree. Since I began cross referencing it with living relatives, I see/phone/skype more family, too.

Errata

ringo_24601 wrote: »

I want her to be interested in anything. She's lovely, but the kind of person who will say 'i'm bored' and never utter a suggestion. Her 'best friends' live too far away for her to see. She's spent so much time doing 'kids' things that now they are at school, she's getting bored and down.

Frankly, I'm just trying to find a way to keep my wife entertained. You could leave me with Netflix and a pile of books and i'd be happy.

"I'm bored" are the words of a child, not an adult woman who presumably had a reasonable education. Bluntly, you're not put on God's earth to entertain her or alleviate her boredom, and doing "kids things" is the choice mums make when they decide to have a child. If her "best friends" live too far away for her to see I'd suggest they may no longer be her best friends and she needs to roll her sleeves up and find some new ones.
For as long as she expects you to fix it -does she?- you'll still be trying to fix it in twenty years time. And you won't succeed.
I'm sure the above sounds very harsh, but I don't wear rose coloured specs.:)

[Deleted User]

Her best friends were her uni friends.. and they all went their separate ways 10 years ago. She's very wary of opening up to 'new friends', and her 'old school friends' are rather self-absorbed and not great friends really.

No, she doesn't expect me to fix it. I want to help her, help herself.

LEJC

ringo_24601 wrote: »

No, she doesn't expect me to fix it. I want to help her, help herself.

Then she needs to let you know the extent of what you are fixing...

you cant begin to fix anything until she tells you what needs fixing...

do you integrate as a family with your neighbours etc?
Maybe its not a case of finding something for you both to do a few nights a week after the children are in bed .....but more about widening your social circle as a family,so that opportunities to socalise and interact with others present themselves more naturally,rather than trying to force a hobby on yourselves...

Youve got 2 wonderful children who hopefully have made a few friends or at least aquaintances with other children locally...how about letting them introduce you to their parents and start interacting that way....

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Things we do;

Play music. An electric guitar makes little noise when there are headphones plugged into the amp.

Investigate different TV shows. Portlandia was tried last night and was a success.

Old radio shows. But that one was already a winner because we both love the Goon Show and suchlike.

Films. Oh, so many weird and wonderful films. October is earmarked as horror movie month for us.

YouTube can take you to some very entertaining places.

Messing around with photoshop can be fun.

Sometimes we've drawn stupid cartoons.

Reading? You don't actually have to be talking all the time.

Friends could come round.

You could have an arrangement where one of you stays at home and the other has to find an activity to do, whether it's an evening class, exercise, meeting up with friends who don't have kids/also gets an exit pass for the evening, the other person getting exactly the same on another night. That way there's something more interesting to talk about on your next evening together than which kid had the snottiest nose today. And you get NetFlix all to yourself for the evening.

dandelionclock30

If you cant think of anything to do in an evening wih your wife it says a lot about the state of your marriage.
What about getting the Joy of Sex and working through the book? that would keep you busy.

scheming_gypsy

ringo_24601 wrote: »

Kids are 2 and 4. I work from home, so discussing my day is boring. Wife works 3 days a week (and when she does, she's not home till 9pm).

!

Hide the kids and leave her treasure hunt style clues to find them... Or wrestle.


Disclaimer. I'm single with no kids, so I have no idea what I'm talking about.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

dandelionclock30 wrote: »

If you cant think of anything to do in an evening wih your wife it says a lot about the state of your marriage.
What about getting the Joy of Sex and working through the book? that would keep you busy.

And quite possibly provide another kid, thus giving her something else to occupy herself with for the next four years until she's bored again :whistle:

Errata

ringo_24601 wrote: »

Her best friends were her uni friends.. and they all went their separate ways 10 years ago. She's very wary of opening up to 'new friends', and her 'old school friends' are rather self-absorbed and not great friends really.

No, she doesn't expect me to fix it. I want to help her, help herself.

Looks like you may have to do some archaelogy. What interests did she have when she was a teenager, at uni, before she met you? What does she regret having missed out on? There must be something.
My DD was totally uninterested in cooking until she had an awayday with James Martin, it broadened her horizons in the kitchen and she found some new friends.

p00hsticks

newcook wrote: »

me and OH enjoy playing different board and card games - trivial pursuit, dominos, cribbage, monopoly etc.

What about jigsaw puzzles ? Old fashioned but I've found them surprisingly addictive and also very relaxing ....