Husband has to give up job to look after me

peachyprice

But the HG is only temporary. Your husband could give up his job and it could disappear the following week, you'd be up the creek without a paddle for nothing.

Hannahxxx

My parents are both on dla and I have no other family friends to help. I will ask the health visitor if she thinks it's ok for me to be on my own with my daughter. If she says yes we will have to do that I think. Thank u I knew I would get help on here I used to use it a lot well the preg forum any way

peachyprice

I know you feel rotten now, and can't see an ending to it, but it will get better, and lets face it, it's never going to last longer than 9 months . It will get easier as your hormones balance out the further along you get, but i guess it's like those early sleepless nights, they seem to go on forever, but looking back it was really only a short time.

Hopefully your HV can suggest some ideas for help. It might be worth contacting your local college too, they're always looking for placements for their Nursery Nurse students and prefer to have families that are a little more complicated to challenge the students.

Hannahxxx

You are right the hg could be tempoary as in weeks to go or it could stay I have taken all your advice and will try to sort something out

Gigglepig

Hannah even if you don't think you have anyone to ask for help, perhaps there are people around you who would not mind helping out a bit until the pregnancy symptoms settle down? People can be surprisingly nice some times. What about your husband's family?

Oh and are there any playgroups you could take daughter to and just sit around in the back?

Does the school offer a breakfast or after school club, or anything like that?

Hopefully things will feel a lot better very soon.

fozziebeartoo

Sorry to hear you are so poorly.

I dont know/understand your bowel issue and the problems that cause but I had hyperemisis (for the whole 9 months) in both my pregnancies and I can still remember the awfulness of it (and my DD's are now 23 and 21 years old)!!

My eldest DD was 18 months when I was pregnant with my 2nd and my memories of her in her highchair, me spoon feeding her with one hand and clutching a sick bowl in my other......

"A spoon of dindins for you......and a throw up for Mummy"

Will never leave me!!

:eek:

Hope yours passes quickly.....most do.......

Unless your other health problems are very severe, your OH giving up his job does sound like a very major step to be taking.

And I have to say, I felt so ill and so dreadful, I much preferred to be on my own with my 1st DD.....having another adult there fulltime, talking, cooking, eating etc would have made me feel worse I think.

Hannahxxx

Thank u everyone for your sound advice as always.

lostinrates

Hannahxxx wrote: »

Thank u everyone for your sound advice as always.

You are being very polite! Its very positive. :T


Something further to consider. With few close friends family in the area to call on in times of need, your husbands work colleagues are probably an important psychological outlet for him in lieu of close friends

. It might be worth, in the future, trying to redress this balance a little. (For both of you, and for role models for your children).

On the role model issue, with two dla grandparents and you unwell, his role as a worker is an important message to send to them, and to keep your own heads high too.

It sounds like you have a lot on your plate. I hope some eases soon.

cte1111

It's worth contacting Homestart, they are an organisation who provide temporary support to families with at least one child under 5:

http://www.home-start.org.uk/findsupport/

They're not in all areas, but search under http://www.home-start.org.uk/findsupport/search to see who to contact in your area.

missty25

Hi Hannahxxx,

How are you managing your HG? Have you been prescribed any anti sickness medication? If not I suggest you go to your GP or midwife ad see what they can suggest. I found the most awful things were people telling me to eat little and often, or try ginger, anti sickness bands etc. what they really didn't understand is just how awful being sick constantly and not eating or drinking was.

I suffered all the way through but did have times when I was a lot better, it is so different for everyone though. Practically speaking though I also had a DD that just started school and it was a struggle and a bit of a mission to get her ready for school, but after she'd been dropped off I literally done nothing bar trying to rest and get some fluids into myself and eat as and when I could manage it. For practical things like housework etc can your OH take on this and cooking etc. my OH worked full time but basically took over doing everything that I couldn't manage or face doing, he appreciated that it was only for the short term.

Feel free to send me a PM as I know how hard it is suffering from HG with not much support around, I found it a truly lonely time when people kept on telling me 12 weeks and I'd be better etc and I was still ill at 20+ weeks.

Edited, I felt that my DD missed out on attention and fun things etc and one particular incident was when she was desperate to bake cakes and I just couldn't for being sick and I felt truly awful and felt she would be affected as TV was used to babysit her after school etc, but now it's like water off a ducks back she hardly remembers and is just so glad to have a brother. X