If you only knew how much you have helped me

southwester_2

Hey Icka

Quote - I'm sitting here on my couch "working from home". Had another really really bad day yesterday. keep fighting with my OH, bless him he's lovely just want to be on my own. Feel like I'm being smothered, think im just so down that the thought of sleeping with him makes me feel awful.

You can come round my house we'd have a good nights sleep, you need to understand my situation for that one, Snaggs will explain

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Sea78

coops024 wrote: »

Its stupid realy but I didnt feel I deserved to be part of the gang as you all seem so special to each other !

Oh hon! Well, you've been noticed now Big welcome to you and of course, you're now part of the HUGE DFW gang!

The more the merrier.

Sea xxxx

biglad

Havent read all the posts but to be fair i think the title applies to me

i really feel without this site id have added at least another 10k onto debts and also had balifs come round and also still be buring head in the sand

so thanks to all who have helped me aswell

icka

Hi Guys

Well last night was a complete disaster. I started off badly I couldnt find anything to wear my friend called over and I was sitting teary eyed losing the will to live. So she straightened my hair ( I have horrible wiry, wavy hair, its meant to be straight, but its not if its not straightened I look like a bad 80's throw back, its thick and awful:mad: ) anyway she straightened it to within an inch of its life and helped me do my make up. We toyed with the idea of sewing two towels together for a dress . But it was decided that maybe this wouldn't go down so well with the OH. So I found a dress that was wide and I put it over the only pair of jeans that fit- kinda of stretchy ones. She painted my nails prostitute red and we were looking almost presentable. Well at least I didnt look like a mixzture of Woody Allen and Adrian Mmole which was surly a step up :rotfl: Was so upset no idea why just felt like crap, but I kept thinking, its a comedy show right 2 hours max Ill be home by 11.

On the way in the taxi OH gets a call from his mate, who he had arranged to meet after, was saying yea shes with me. I felt a lump in my throat, totally forgot it was his birthday and he would want to go OUT afterward, like to a pub with real people:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: I could feel the panick. How the hell was I going to afford that. Anyway the show was funny I think well everyone else was loving it. I just couldnt relax my head was spinning about money and work and moving out, and should we break up and oh my god...........................what I wasn't thinking about was not worth thinking about. Anyway long story short went to meet his mate.

WHo said within the first 15mins of meeting me 5 times, God I'm so dissappointed with you, I thought you were going to be way livelyer, heard you are so much fun, and your not at all. He was drunk but I'm really sensitive at the moment and I felt like crying. Anyway I said nothing.

The whole night cost me a fortune they were buying rounds, which I havent done in so so so long as I dont go out anymore and when I do its just for literally a beer, on the way somewhere. They were all drinking shots and whiskey and cokes and it was a nightmare. But there was nothing I could do I dont know these people and thats just the way it was. OH and I had huge fight on way home he said I was rude to his friends that I barely spoke. I tried to defend myself saying that all they did was talk about work and football and totally ignored me. But he said that was because I didnt imput into the conversation.

Anyway we kind of broke up this morning, I think, I dont know Im so confused. Im broke, hung over, upset at about £100 less well off as I bought the tickets for OH as well cost way more.

Maybe its good if we broke up its less expensive to be single, you can buy only what you need instead of expensive stuff that never gets eaten. OH throws everything out if it has been in the fridge for 2 secs. He always buy all the brand stuff and it drived me so mad:mad: . He goes to tesco buys £130 worth of stuff and come home with nothing, I can go to lidil and spend £40 and the fridge can be full for two weeks. He thinks lidil is really cheap and nasty and he makes me feel embarrased to shop there.

We are not together than long since jan, and he doesnt know about my debts, I just don't want to tell him. So today Im going to do my SOA and we together as a unit are going to sort out my life:T :T :T :T

GO TEAM MSE :j :j :j :j :j :j Always wanted to be a cheerleader they look so fab on american tv.

Anyway enough whining off to do my SOA. Thanks for listening you guys rock.

Hey if I move out and get a cheaper place that could help, dont know if my little head could take moving in with strangers and have to go through the whole thing again. and where would I put my aleo veras I have millions

rog2

Hi icka - I've only just found your thread, but would still like to add my welcome to DFW.
I found this site last year, when I finally realised that I had a REAL problem, and the advice was great - I certainly don't know where I would be now, without the advice I have received on DFW.
Unlike you, though, I 'lurked' for about one hour.:rotfl: :rotfl:
Now that my problems are more or less under control, I hope that my experiences and the advice that I have picked up, along the way, can be of some help to others.

kiwigirl

Hi Icka

So sorry to hear about your last 48 hours, but you'll get through this, and there's so many friends on this site who will get you through it.

I'm 29 too, and although my ex used most of my student grant and I paid for everything (he was working but always in debt - probably something to do with the 4*4 he used to run), I have just finished paying off that in full about 3 months ago. Trying to get a good job (prob relocate) and get a place of my own - still living with parents.

I've been selling ex's presents in car boot sales and on ebay etc so I've recouped some of the money! :rolleyes: Wonder what he'd think of me if he ever realised his eternity ring got sold on ebay for £45!! :rotfl:

Put your SOA on the board and others can help you. I get a lot from Aldi / Lidl and can't tell the difference.

KG

LookingAhead

Hi icka.....I have only just caught this thread but just read it from start to finish.

Bit late for me to say welcome now as you are now over the threshold and ensconced into the MSE world clearly! But welcome anyway and you know, I have a feeling things are going to get better for you from here.

I am sorry you and your OH had a fight. Talking of fights, I would have liked to have been there when his friend said those things to you. There might have been another fight. Or at least a pint of beer poured over a head. Ignore him - he knows nothing of your situation or what is going on with you...you do not take notice of people like that. They know no better.

You may well patch it up with your OH but if you do, it sounds like there is much work to be done for him to understand what is going on with you and help you through this. Is he man enough to support you through this? Deep down, do you want to be with him or is he standing in your way of progress at the moment? The answers lay in your heart what to do with your relationship.

You say you are a size 12...now is that a 'big' size 12 (not that it can be that big by definition!) or a bordering on size 10 sort of 12? Depending on that answer I may be able to help you with something....

tigtag02

icka

I started reading your post today with a heavy heart, then I wanted to come round and hug you. Then I wanted to go kick OH and his t**t mates @rse.

After finishing I want to celebrate with you - all that clapping and cheering girl, you know its the right thing dont you

Get your SOA on here and you and your aloe's will be as right as rain in no time

Methinks you have just made another big step :T:T
tigtag

icka

Thank you all so much for your lovely replies, they mean so much to me.

In case you hadn't figured out havent worked out how to PM or use spell check or add a page to favourites list but I'm sure that will call come with time.

Please don't get me wrong I was in no way trying to say size 12 was big, I really don't want to offend anyone when you have all been so lovely to me. Its just size 12 is big for me. I actually would have no idea if I'm a 10/12 or a 12/12. I hate trying on clothes they make me feel like crap. All I know is my size 10 dont fit me. so Im wearing loose size less stuff that it doesnt matter what you are.

Think the porblem is sitting in the house in trakkie bottoms, bad, bad idea at least if you wear jeans you can tell when they are getting tight. but you only really notice when you try to put on jeans and they wont go over your hips OOps:o Knew sitting with a tub of ice cream and a spoon watching bridgit jones every day was a bad idea.;)

Anyway I have decided to do some of the challanges, like the fly lady challange and a get fit challange (not go to the gym or go crazy, I'd keel over and die:rotfl: ) also who can afford the gym anyway, gyms who needs them we have roads and bean tins and bottles of water to fill up - I've heard its good no idea though. Dont know alot at the moment.

I think wearing trousers are a bad idea anyway you can see my orange peel !!!! through them:o , so it will be skirts until I can snap out of this and get my life back.

Wow that sound good doesnt it. I'm going to take back my life. I will not be a slave to the postman, I will clean my house, get fit and pay my debts and save money. :T :T :T Horay wouldn't that be so so so nice to be able to save money, to actually have a savings account, to be able to save for like a house. No way that so doesnt not seem like fun. You work so hard to get out of debt ot save to put yourself in way way more debt then you were in the first place. Mortgages Yukk.

Think I might save to buy a tent much less expense than a house. and as I wont be buying ornaments and crap as Ill be living an mse lifestyle i wont need much room.

Have this big sales kick off in a few weeks going to stay in a posh hotel in London with the company seemingly its this big dressy affair. well dressy in a casual dressy way. its on in 3 weeks. Do you think I will manage to be fit and fabulous and gorgeous by then.

Oh and rich, don't forget rich, actually scrap that I dont want to be rich, I just want to have enough money in my bank account to go on holiday or go to the dentist. Havent been in years have a feelin she is going to give me loads of grief and make me have loads of work done. Which is going to cost a fortune which I dont have.
I also need new glasses, my eyesight is getting worse the older I get.

Enough now missy you are just venting.

10 Good things in my life

1. I have found MSE and these forums and the wonderful people on them.
2. My best friend whom without life would not be worth living.
3. My family I love my family
4. My job its great - just need to focus
5. Passed my exams - got my results on Wednesday horay:T :T first year over. was so hard to go back, but so worth it, 3 more years to go.
6. I havent hit my car of anything in over a week. Which believe me for me is amazing:j
7. I am not sick, I am not dying, noone who is really close to me is terminally ill. - Thank you God.
8. I llike my name - most people kind of hate theirs but I like mine, which is good.
9. Going to see my baby brother when Im in London in 3 weeks, he is 26 so not technically a baby but he is the best kid inthe whole world. I'm so proud of him, he is such a good person, the world needs more guys like him.
10. Its only Saturday- Horray no school (I call work school) for two more days:T :T :T .

So I have alot to be thankful for. I just have to remind myself to focus onthe good things in life. :A

LookingAhead

Awww. That's a fantastically positive post to come back with. Well done you!

Savings account: Try QuidCo (https://www.quidco.com - simply a *must* for any DFW) and look for Cahoot. They were paying £20 or £25 for opening an accoutn a few months ago - with a quid to open it! Now that's gotta be worth it.