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Is coming to live with his mother really the best for your OH's DS? If he is settled at his grandparents and they are happy to have him, is it really best to disrupt him? If he is unsettled at the moment, how will he cope with a crying newborn? Perhaps you should work on making him more comfortable and increasing overnight visits before making Amy definite decisions.0
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He started acting out way before we knew she was though, as in 2/3 mnths before so more likely 6mnths
Sorry to be pedantic, but he is not acting out, he is being a child with Autism. It might help you to deal with the challenges if you try to remember that he 'probably' can't help it.0
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