Divorcing a partner who works full time

whitewing

handful wrote: »

My original post was to find out if there is any liklihood I would have to maintain the 'lifestyle to which she has become accustomed to' bearing in mind the time we have spent together? Or is this an old fashioned notion or one that only applies when there are dependant kids involved?

I don't think counselling is going to do anything to be honest, not when she has betrayed one of the most fundamental cornerstones of our relationship. I have said many times over the years how I would never be able to forgive that.

Don't stick so stubbornly to your principles that you lose any flexibility.

I know we females like to give non-monetary advice on MSE, but ultimately people usually do what 'feels' right when dealing with relationships and sorting out the moneyside of things is a consequence of that. It would be a boring old world if all we ever did was answer the exact question we'd been asked!

harrys_nan

I feel for you I really do, I have been in the same boat as you I'm sorry to say except it was 20 yrs married.
One thing to remember if you do go down the divorce route is to have a "clean break"clause put in or she can claim against any future windfalls you may get.
I not sure if she can claim maintenance from you as those days surely are over ?
Pop over to

http://www.wikivorce.com/divorce/

They have a lot of knowledge on there.
Keep your chin up, things do get better
harrys nan

danih

So sorry to hear about the pain you are going through. I'm not long married myself, and I can't imagion how hard it must be to be dealing with an affair and a divorce.

Just a thought regarding your wife's decisions over the years not to go for better paid jobs. She may have a very different perspective to you on why she has not done so. If she has seen herself as doing the majority of the child care and the household chores, she may have decided that a relatively low stress full time job is enough. She may feel that combining a more stressful job with doing most of the childcare and housework was too much overall stress to be worth the extra money.

IF this is her perception, this may impact on how she feels about a 50:50 split - she may feel she deserves more.

I don't mean to take away from the huge wrong she has done to you, or to argue her point. I feel it is better for you to have reflected on this point of view and thought through a response, before your wife surprises you with it.

mikeandrach_2

how amicable will she be about a divorce? does she want a divorce or does she want to work things out?