Work drinks socials-do u go?

MrSmartprice

I worked in an office environment for many years and rarely got involved in socialising with the people I worked with. If someone was leaving, you would be rude not to join them for a farewell drink. But regular office events were not part of my social life. All the networking (aka brown-nosing) was not my scene.

I looked at it this way. You go to work in order to work. It is not a social club. The people there are colleagues whom you don't get to choose. They are there for good or bad. My friends have always been a separate, and more important, part of my life.

I am all for getting on with people at work as it makes it all more pleasant. But, for instance, I would never invite colleagues to my home, or accept invitations to theirs. And when I left I don't think I bothered keeping in touch with any former colleagues.

sterl1ng

Unfortunately the colleagues I did get on with left firm while ago so I suppose another reason I haven't been as much before plus I don't drink. I wasn't planning to go when it was arranged weeks back. I'm admin for this huge group but thankfully moving onto new job internally soon as been very unhappy here. The main reason I changed my mind was to give bit of moral support to girl who I'm currently training as she is my replacement. She asked few days back whether I was going as she didn't know anyone and I said I'd go for about an hour and introduce her to some people. I suppose also to polish my networking in prep for new role in case I need to.

Honestly I didn't enjoy last night as uncomfortable plus it's always hard to hear when such noisy atmosphere and tight spaces!

Like some here I prefer to keep personal and work life separate. I go to work to do what I'm paid to then go home. But yes it can stump you when trying to progress so networking almost feels compulsory which is why I feel I should try more especially when starting new job soon.

charlies-aunt

I used to enjoy going but I now work with a sanctimonious brown-noser who attends these do's so she can monitor colleagues for any indiscretions, inappropriate comments / behaviour and fashion faux pas etc.

She will "jokingly" bring up these things at work or in staff meetings whenever she feels the need to shoot someone down.

A nasty piece of work. I have to work with her but I don't have to socialise with her

wiogs

sterlingstash wrote: »

Work is half your life. Being able to enjoy spending time with people you wouldn't necessarily choose to is really something worth putting some effort into. And for the miserable gits who don;t, best not moan when the more sociably minded guys end up achieving much more and progressing far quicker.

If you can;t find anything at all to make some sort of connection/common interest with a work colleague or client, whatever their background - then you really must look deeply at yourself

EDIT: probably a biased view due to generally having a good working environment with a decent bunch of people. But really being so averse to having the occasional social with the people which I will inevitably spend as much time with as my family, I would definitely be looking for a change in working environment.

Fortunately I enjoy the company of most of the people I work with, at work.

I have made life long friends through work and these are some of the people I socialise with.


I have never seen any need to socialise with colleagues and I would never complain that the fact I haven't has damaged my career, as it patently hasn't.

If having to socialise with colleagues was a requirement of the job then is be looking for a career change.

DKLS

lika_86 wrote: »

Yes, I try to wherever possible. I work for a large firm and am at the start of my career, apart from the chance to catch up with my friends in other departments, it's also a chance to practice networking in an informal context (ie. with colleagues not clients) and a chance to meet new people from other departments and get my face and name about a bit. Plus, you get all the gossip or inside info from people at these events so it can be very useful.

This +

I have found when working in a large organisation its highly beneficial to your career to socialise with the other staff all you need to remember is its still work, so getting ratted and trying to pull the accountant isnt wise. But having nice social chats with directors can prove to be very beneficial.

January20

I don't go out with work if I can help it. I need to protect my sanity and have time off work. Going out with people from work means you talk about... yes work!

Also, I feel I would have to be on my best behaviour and not drink a drop of alcohol because should I say or do any silly (and I do enough of that when sober lol) it would go round the staffroom for months if not even years (I know from the unfortunate experience of other members of staff!)

Work colleagues are like family: you don't really choose them so I feel no obligation to socialise with them!
It also saves me money I would rather spend having a good time with real friends.

catkins

I don't work now but in almost 40 years of working I rarely went out with colleagues. I am not much of a drinker and don't really feel comfortable in social situations unless with family and friends.

I found when I worked with only a few people I was more likely to go out with them as they didn't tend to get so drunk and rowdy as when I went with a large group nor did they seem to take the micky so much about me not drinking. With a large group of people I just tend to clam up and come across as very boring!

Getting out of Christmas parties was a pain as colleagues never seemed to just accept that I didn't want to go and would go on and on about it. I went one year to a Christmas party where my office had about 500 people and I absolutely hated it. So many drunks, people throwing up, a couple of fights, a couple having sex, one of the Partners trying to get people to do a "party piece" such as sing, tell jokes, dance etc which made me cringe as I am quite shy. That put me off Christmas do's for life!

aileth

I never bothered (I work for a company of 5 people now so if we have a 'do' it's popping down to the boozer after work for a quick drink) when I worked for proper organisations as I found myself dreading it. I did have fun one time though, where a really strict manager got absolutely trollied in the first hour, was hanging all over me all night (I was a newbie), telling me what a lovely girl I was, how my mum should be proud, and we should be friends. Back at work, she would always give me a knowing smile and was a quite a good friend and helpful colleague to me after.

I would say go when you can. My OH (I made a post in the employment forum about it actually) has really alienated himself at his workplace because he has always declined when they've asked him out for drinks, he declined the christmas do and now they have a photo up at their work area of the do and he's the only one not there, so he feels really left out. They've stopped asking him for drinks now and he doesn't feel a member of the team anymore.

It's also really great for getting to know your colleagues and possibly career advancement too.

Gra76

I work for a family run company (I married into the family a decade ago) and it's expected that if the company pays for a night out then you'd better have a good excuse not to go. If you don't go you just get ribbed for days afterwards about how good the night was and how you shouldn't have missed it.

I enjoy most of their company socially so I nearly always go anyway. It's no good making up reasons why you don't want to go as almost everyone in the company is related in one way or another so it doesn't take long to find out if someone is telling fibs about why they can't go....

lostinrates

Treevo wrote: »

I did because I think it's important that you build social relationships with the people you work with. At my old place it was very much a once weekly after work drink, and a monthly meal/night out so it wasn't too much of a commitment.

Having said that I do think it's important to keep it limited to whatever you're comfortable with. After I left the business and took my clients with me, the other sides of the business were very good to me (considering) but after I refused to return, it was made very clear to their staff that I was persona non grata and so I lost a few friends for that. If they had become the main part of my social life, then that would've been devastating and probably would have influenced me in ways that weren't in my career's best interests.

As long as you behave appropriately, join in and be genuine, it will only benefit your career.

This is very key. Its important to show willing, get on and hopefully discover the human side of people you work with and for. But.....if its the main part of your social life as well as a career that is time demanding anyway, it can be come all consuming and lead to a bit of a loss of identity outside of the important work 'face'. DH has a few key 'chums' at work, many of whom have actually left, and its almost easier to relax on a friend ship level with them. He also has friendships with clients, we've socialised with clients at our home and theirs, both on a more formal 'corporate smoozing' sort of luncheon way and a more relaxed BBQ with friend and their kids way, one client's kids has photos of our dogs as her phone screen saver and another asks to come to our house to play. :j. I'd love it, but Would be much easier if she didn't live in the States!

But there is a line, and its very rarely one DH seeks to cross from friendly work relationship to 'friendship'. When it does its fantastic, but often the 'politics' is an ever present hum. Its much better to keep the social sincerely on a willing level, every few weeks, IMO, with enthusiasm than drag oneself in for politicking or brown nosing regularly. Even if politicking, a little mystery does no harm