How much should partner contribute?

JimmyTheWig

chelseablue wrote: »

Yes we want to split everything equally

Then all wages should go into a joint account.
Joint account pays all bills.
Joint account pays money into savings for when the baby comes.
Joint account pays you each spending money if there is any left.

Treevo

chelseablue wrote: »

I was thinking maybe he contributes £400 for the utilities and groceries plus he saves £200 a month for the future

So £600 a month. Still very reasonable for our area

Saying it's just for utilities and groceries won't stop him having paid for equity in your home unless he was only paying half of the cost of them.

You can't have it both ways. You can't expect him to subsidise your investment until you're happy enough to go all in, but then not want him to be able to claim part of your house if you split up.

thriftylass

I moved in with my now fiance after a year and it was only him on the mortgage as it was his flat. But it all depends how you see your relationship. We split it according to our earnings so that each lets say paid 60% to living. That meant he paid most of the mortgage and related expenses but I paid for instance the electricity bill and the groceries and gave him some extra ("rent" as I would have to pay rent on my own anyway) so we had about the same outgoings. He always considered his house is mine too although there was no official agreement, it was solely based on trust which many probably find too risky. But we knew we would buy together someday and start a family, both of which we did. Even now although the mortgage is in both names now we split the bills like before, I pay electricity and groceries and childcare (and do most of the saving for us whereas he pays mortgage and telly etc based on our earning so that we have the same % outgoings. Also once we sold his flat he had £30000 from the sale which we used for the deposit whereas I used my £7000 savings (then just mine) for fees and buy furniture etc. We still don't have a joint account and probably never will.

He wasn't good with money either (I guess one will always be worse) but he's slowly learning

Just sit down and work things out that are right for you.

paulineb_2

OP, youve today deleted some of your posts in the thread you started about your bf earlier in the year and thats entirely your choice, but some of them are still there, in one you refer to him as being useless with money and that you deal with all the finances.

Hes younger than you, he lives with his parents, that isnt necessarily a recipe for disaster, but what could be, massively, is that you seem to have your head screwed on when it comes to finances and he doesnt.

You are putting money aside into a baby fund? Is he? You have savings, does he?

I absolutely appreciate that these are tough economic times but hes living with his mum and dad, hes paying no rent, he should have spare money at the end of the month

If he doesnt at the moment I do think you need to go into this with your eyes open, just because he'll have bills to pay to you, doesnt mean that he will.

And if hes terrible with cash, which you've said he is then I wouldnt be having a joint account with anyone until they could deal with money responsibly.

chelseablue

He did used to be totally useless with money, in the last 3 months he has really improved,

He doesnt have as much savings as I do, but on the other hand he doesnt spend what he hasnt got, he doesnt have any loans or an overdraft

We are going to talk over the weekend about how the technicalites would work.

We wont be getting a joint bank account straight away, he will have to transfer his share of the bills the day he gets paid

SavingPennies_2

chelseablue wrote: »

He did used to be totally useless with money, in the last 3 months he has really improved,

He doesnt have as much savings as I do, but on the other hand he doesnt spend what he hasnt got, he doesnt have any loans or an overdraft

We are going to talk over the weekend about how the technicalites would work.

We wont be getting a joint bank account straight away, he will have to transfer his share of the bills the day he gets paid

I should hope not assuming he's always lived with his parents and worked, he's got nothing to pay for! It's good you are going to talk things over first but I really advise you to wait until youve lived together properly for 6 months at least before you start trying for a baby.

Edited to say just because he's been bad with money doesnt mean he cant change and you mentioned hes improving, i just think you should allow some time living together for him to prove it and get used to the reality of paying for well everything before you bring a baby into the equation. Consider this - should you have to give up work after you have the baby, can you rely on him to cover the costs of the mortgage, bills etc.

lushlifesaver

want_to_save wrote: »

the other option is if you pay the mortgage ask him to pay the groceries and utilities

This is essentially what bf and I do.
He earns more than me (by about 2/3rds currently) and that is set to go up after his APA (athlete performance award) is reviewed in January and next year I will be sailing off on the Mat leave boat too so my income will drop!

I pay: all groceries (budget of £100 per month but sometimes slips over), Council Tax, £30 per week in to joint savings and also my personal costs which include: PCDL repayment (@£183), saving in to paying my overdraft off (£114.75 per month - not compulsory but we want it gone), my gym subs, phone contract and travel expenses. All that adds up to 2/3rds of my wage and the remaining third goes towards my share of tournament expenses, personal savings, personal spends and meals/treats for the pair of us.

We have arranged however that once my overdraft has gone we will discuss rent again (he doesn't want me to pay atm but I would like to). We get lower rent, council tax and some utilities as he is disabled so gets certain reductions/benefits too.

The money I would give in rent is currently split half between my od repayments and personal savings which we both use for tournaments/Christmas'/birthdays/holidays etc anyway.

Bear in mind he can contribute to the household in many other ways too other than just financially. Make sure he picks up a fair share of cooking/cleaning/ etc!

chelseablue

SavingPennies wrote: »

I should hope not assuming he's always lived with his parents and worked, he's got nothing to pay for! It's good you are going to talk things over first but I really advise you to wait until youve lived together properly for 6 months at least before you start trying for a baby.

Edited to say just because he's been bad with money doesnt mean he cant change and you mentioned hes improving, i just think you should allow some time living together for him to prove it and get used to the reality of paying for well everything before you bring a baby into the equation. Consider this - should you have to give up work after you have the baby, can you rely on him to cover the costs of the mortgage, bills etc.

He has'nt always lived with them, its been about 18 months

rach_jenn

Hey
My experience may help
My boyfriend moved into my mortgaged house and when he did, I had my house valued, and got written up by solicitors that if we break up, the house will get valued again and he will get half of any equity it has made. For example if my house was worth £100k when he moved in, then £120k when we broke up, he'd get £5k (not including solicitor/agent) I felt this protected me, but mainly him as he does jobs around the house (fixing things) so I wouldn't want him to make a home with me only for him to get nothing out of it if the worse should happen. Depends if you want to go down this route of course.
We get paid different amounts, but we pay into a joint ac roughly 40% of our wages, so therefore he contributes towards the mtge. If we put the same amount in, one earns more, so one would be skint and one would be rolling in it.
When I was giving my fella lifts everywhere, he bought a takeaway each week for us both to say 'thanks'. It shouldn't be t i t for tat, but it would be nice to be appreciated.
Don't forget your bills will all increase inc your council tax, food, gas and electric so it's best to assess it month by month instead of coming to an agreement at the start. We pay for what we use (gas/electric) so each month we decide how much goes in.
Hope this gives you some ideas!

getmore4less

DO not get a joint account untill you have to.

There is no reason to create a financial link, they can be hard to break.