How much should partner contribute?

Toto

want_to_save wrote: »

the other option is if you pay the mortgage ask him to pay the groceries and utilities

This was my thought too. How much does he earn in relation to you? If your wages are similar then that seems a fair way to approach it.

Mojisola

Read this - https://www.advicenow.org.uk/living-together/ - so that you understand what the benefits and pitfalls are.

ali-t

My outgoings are around £1800pcm and my partner pays me £300. I have had a solicitor draw up a cohabitation agreement to ensure that what is mine stays mine. I haven't had the bill for that yet but expect to pay less than £150 due to the minimal time required from the solicitor but it will save me a lot more than that if the relationship sours. Not very romantic but hey life is one big business transaction!

paulineb_2

I agree, how much does he earn compared to you. Also, its your home but hed be paying you rent, I dont think he should have to pay half of the mortgage and half of the bills unless you see this as a long term commitment, which Im sure you do.

Also does he drive? I know you take him to work and take him places, but unless hes going to get the use of the car ie drive it, Im not sure paying for half of your car is the best idea.

Is living with you going to be a cheaper option for both of you? Or would he be better off financially where he is at the moment?

Lastly, you've spoken about wanting to start a family, you also need to factor in what happens when this happens and your income drops for a period of time.

If you arent putting him on the mortgage I think it would be fair to charge him rent in the same way you would rent out a room, plus a bit more for bills.

The other solution is to sell your house and both buy somewhere together, which you both contribute to, thats if of course if thats what you want.

paulineb_2

Also, your food bill might be higher, unless you are very clued up budget wise.

Tbh, I think you need to be having this conversation with him as well, because if you have made a decision that you want to start a family with this person, perhaps its time to discuss where you see your living arrangements long term, rather than him moving in with you and paying for a share of bills in a flat that you have mortgaged.

Have you had any communication at all about living together before?

Person_one

ld0rman wrote: »

This might be a bit too communist for some but me and my girlfriend have a system where we both get the same amount of spending money at the end of the month.

We work out how much we earn in total combined, then how much the communal expenses are - rent, food, energy, insurance etc.

Then we just submit the total expenses from total earnings and divide the leftovers.

We both believe that we work hard and there's no reason that the market's strange decision to pay us differently should affect our home life. For the last year I had been earning more than my girlfriend so I paid about €300 extra each month. Now I have gone back to school and have been doing a low-paid internship and she has been paying more into the joint account.

I think if you love each other it's fair to divide things up like this. What are your thoughts?

I think that's a great system in a fully committed relationship where you are planning to spend the rest of your lives together.

The OP is only just moving in with her partner for the first time, so its better to take small steps towards what you have rather than just jumping straight in!

I like Treevo's suggestion that he commit to putting a certain amount in locked up savings with a view to it being used for the benefit of both of them if things work out.

paulineb_2

Its not exactly small steps though when they are actively trying to start a family together.

Also, hes apparently not the best with money, how you get someone to save who finds it tough is another obstacle that will need to be sorted out.

chelseablue

paulineb wrote: »

I agree, how much does he earn compared to you. I earn about £800 a month more than him at the moment, but this will reverse when Im blessed with maternity leave

Also, its your home but hed be paying you rent, I dont think he should have to pay half of the mortgage and half of the bills unless you see this as a long term commitment, which Im sure you do. No, I dont expect him to contribute to my mortgage, but he wouldnt be able to live anywhere in life rent free (like he does now!)

Also does he drive? Not at the monent but he's nearly got his test I know you take him to work and take him places, but unless hes going to get the use of the car ie drive it, Im not sure paying for half of your car is the best idea.

Is living with you going to be a cheaper option for both of you? Or would he be better off financially where he is at the moment? As he lives in his parents house for nothing :eek: living with me definately wont be cheaper! But he's only there a couple of nights a week

Lastly, you've spoken about wanting to start a family, you also need to factor in what happens when this happens and your income drops for a period of time. Yes we have spoken about this

If you arent putting him on the mortgage I think it would be fair to charge him rent in the same way you would rent out a room, plus a bit more for bills.

The other solution is to sell your house and both buy somewhere together, which you both contribute to, thats if of course if thats what you want.

Answers in bold

Person_one

paulineb wrote: »

Its not exactly small steps though when they are actively trying to start a family together.

Also, hes apparently not the best with money, how you get someone to save who finds it tough is another obstacle that will need to be sorted out.

Where is all of this? Did I miss something in the OP?

OP, don't stop using contraception until you've been living together for a least a year, just trust me on this!

paulineb_2

If you earn 800 pounds a month more than him just now (obviously I dont know what his wage is), I think it would be fair that you dont go for a 50 50 split on bills or other expenses. 60/40 or 70/30 or whatever percentage share it works out as

I didnt know he was living at his parents, but thats why I asked the question, because if he is living rent free at the moment, he might not want to make this official just now, he'll have less income, you'll have more income.

I also think you do need to consider the impact of you both having a child, particularly if hes going to be contributing more when you get pregnant and your wage drops, particularly if hes not great with money, which you've suggested in previous threads.