How much should partner contribute?

paulineb_2

Person_one wrote: »

Where is all of this? Did I miss something in the OP?

OP, don't stop using contraception until you've been living together for a least a year, just trust me on this!

You didnt miss anything in the OP, its been posted on other threads.

chelseablue

paulineb wrote: »

If you earn 800 pounds a month more than him just now (obviously I dont know what his wage is), I think it would be fair that you dont go for a 50 50 split on bills or other expenses. 60/40 or 70/30 or whatever percentage share it works out as

I didnt know he was living at his parents, but thats why I asked the question, because if he is living rent free at the moment, he might not want to make this official just now, he'll have less income, you'll have more income.

I also think you do need to consider the impact of you both having a child, particularly if hes going to be contributing more when you get pregnant and your wage drops, particularly if hes not great with money, which you've suggested in previous threads.

Yes thats why I thought Id see what other people do, as I've never lived with anymore offically. Even though he practically lives there already

Treevo

chelseablue wrote: »

Yes thats why I thought Id see what other people do, as I've never lived with anymore offically. Even though he practically lives there already

If you're going to be having a child so soon then you may as well just split everything 50/50 because you won't be just boyfriend and girlfriend then anyway. You'll have a child to look after and you should be a partnership and a team.

Person_one

chelseablue wrote: »

Yes thats why I thought Id see what other people do, as I've never lived with anymore offically. Even though he practically lives there already

Once you have a child together, the only way to do it is to put everything in one pot and treat everything as 'ours'.

You have a mortgage on your own though, and you've never lived together before (staying over a lot just isn't the same) so I really really recommend that you hold off on the baby for a bit. Is there a reason for the rush?

lics

You can pretend he's a lodger and split all household bills in half. It's not fair for him not to pay rent, unless you are generous and don't care

Once the relationship becomes more serious, go and marry and what's yours is his and viceversa

paulineb_2

OP, I do think you need to have a serious think about whether your different attitudes to cash are going to affect your relationship in the long run.

From other posts it would seem not only do you have a mortgage, you have savings as well.

Whats his financial position like, does he save? Spend, anything put aside for a rainy day?

Can he manage his finances at the moment when hes living rent free.
Because if you do want a future and a child with this man, you'll need to be as sure as you can be that when you get pregnant, he'll be able to cope financially.

chelseablue

I was thinking maybe he contributes £400 for the utilities and groceries plus he saves £200 a month for the future

So £600 a month. Still very reasonable for our area

JimmyTheWig

chelseablue wrote: »

I was thinking maybe he contributes £400 for the utilities and groceries plus he saves £200 a month for the future

So £600 a month. Still very reasonable for our area

Sounds fair to me. It means that he is paying a share of the mortgage interest but not paying off the mortgage capital in your name, which I think is how it should be.
The result of the £200 a month will be very handy when a baby comes along...

FBaby

I just can't believe that someone would be planning to have a baby with someone they just see as nothing more than a lodger. Is he happy to be paying you rent towards your mortgage that he possibly will have no claim on? Surely you are planning to have a baby with a man you want to commit to in which case, it is not about what he should be paying you but about what you two together should be paying?

If it was me in the shoes of your boyfriend, I would tell you that I'm happy to stay at my parents and see you twice a week...

chelseablue

FBaby wrote: »

I just can't believe that someone would be planning to have a baby with someone they just see as nothing more than a lodger. Is he happy to be paying you rent towards your mortgage that he possibly will have no claim on? Surely you are planning to have a baby with a man you want to commit to in which case, it is not about what he should be paying you but about what you two together should be paying?

If it was me in the shoes of your boyfriend, I would tell you that I'm happy to stay at my parents and see you twice a week...

Yes we want to split everything equally, when I sell the flat we want to purchase a house together

At the moment I earn more than him so want our contribution to the household to be fair