Desperate. Worried I may do something stupid.

Cycrow

What will your wife do about her job, is she planning on going back, how far is it away ?

if shes not, have you thought about moving closer to your work so you can save on the transportation costs?

scholesfan88 wrote:

750 for rent is expensive, can you move to a lesser property? I dont know where you live but around here £750 gets you a new build 4 bed detatched on a nice estate. Thats not somewhere to be living when riddled with debt.

This depends entirely on location, im paying £700 for rent, and i only live in a 1 bed flat, and thats a pretty good price for it too.

just because you can get a large 4bedroom house, doesn't mean others can in thier areas.

paulineb_2

Thats why you need to get in touch with a company who will help you negotiate payment plans with your debtors

Also, once the contract is up with virgin media, move to something cheaper.

If its cheaper for your wife not to work during her pregnancy and for some time after she gives birth due to childcare issues, then I think she needs to consider staying at home for a while, its pointless having to pay out childcare fees when you have debt and you arent coping with the debt that you have.

There are lots of people with far bigger debts than you have at the moment who have managed to sort those debts out over time.

I also appreciate that you may feel like you never see the kids, but with christmas coming up, you could look for some temporary work in the run up to christmas, another one shift a week somewhere would give you an income and some more breathing space.

xe0n

Cycrow wrote: »

What will your wife do about her job, is she planning on going back, how far is it away ?

if shes not, have you thought about moving closer to your work so you can save on the transportation costs?




This depends entirely on location, im paying £700 for rent, and i only live in a 1 bed flat, and thats a pretty good price for it too.

just because you can get a large 4bedroom house, doesn't mean others can in thier areas.

She is planning on returning to work but not her old job as it was care work which is physically demanding and is playing up with her scoliosis , but she is looking to start working for her mothers company doing admin/office work but we need to wait for 3 weeks when the sick-note is up as she is on strong antinorsia pills that stop her from driving.

We also cant afford to move house and are tied into a further 5 months contract. (Private rent), the cost would far far outweigh the savings on transport. And house rent prices are much higher closer to my work as its "out in the sticks" where lucky MPs have SECOND houses =/

paulineb_2

xe0n wrote: »

She is planning on returning to work but not her old job as it was care work which is physically demanding and is playing up with her scoliosis , but she is looking to start working for her mothers company doing admin/office work but we need to wait for 3 weeks when the sick-note is up as she is on strong antinorsia pills that stop her from driving.

We also cant afford to move house and are tied into a further 5 months contract. (Private rent), the cost would far far outweigh the savings on transport. And house rent prices are much higher closer to my work as its "out in the sticks" where lucky MPs have SECOND houses =/

Yes they do, but thats not relevant at the moment. Life is tough for a lot of people financially including myself, but you have the means to get out of this mess, youve started more than one thread and got very decent advice, if you havent contacted stepchange, then do it.

You can get advice about what to pay to the people you owe money to and that will help take some of the stress off, because not paying bills you owe and loans is just going to make matters worse, Im sure you know that.

paulineb_2

This is the number for stepchange, if you havent called them, its a free number including mobiles

0800 138 1111

Do it as soon as you can.

princeofpounds

Hey there. One thing I'll say for you is that you've made a good step by trying to get everything down on paper and also by reaching out for help.

It would be really useful to understand your income fully also. Both earned income and benefits income.

And your assets. You talk about an old house; I assume this is not an owned house, just one you used to live in?

It can be a nightmare having these really expensive loans. On the other hand, the fact that the principal amount (the amount you borrowed) is relatively small with a high rate means that if you are able to get yourself treading water and then making impacts into your debts, a small amount of extra debt paid back can make a big difference to how quickly you can get out of this.

It's also useful psychologically - it's not always fun living frugally but if every extra pound you save is being 'invested' in paying back a loan at 1780% APR then the payback from being frugal is really high.

I'm sure people will tell you about your priority debts; rent and council tax, for instance. These should be paid before anything else.

Then you need to be strict about how you pay off your debts. High interest rate debt first. If you can, move high interest debt into lower rate forms.

Bangton

Ah mate I'm sorry you are feeling so bogged down. Finances can be so difficult to juggle. It's easily spent and not so easily earned so believe me no judgement here (I've been in a similar mess around the same age as you).

First things first regarding the debts and including the arrears on some of your bills. Have you thought about contacting stepchange or payplan and getting them put into a payment you can afford? Yes it can impact your credit rating but frankly that's probably taken a fair hit already.

By your own calcs you will save £160 in not having your wife's car. What will you be doing with said car? Is it in a good enough condition to be sold? What sort of car? Could you make enough on sale of vehicle to clear some of the back arrears on bills?

Food can and has to be reduced. If needs be go shopping with a calculator. Buy fruit and veg - make stews/soups and things from scratch.

One of your problems seems to be the arrears on bills and as you state you can afford the monthly payments at their normal amount so it does beg the question how have they got so badly into arrears? I'd focus on these as an absolute priority - selling wife's car if needs be to cover them. Can you work overtime? What about looking the the 'boost your income board' - could you do some hours on top of your normal work for one of the virtual call centres for a bit. It may mean less family time but it doesn't have to be forever but this does need to be solved. If you can start making steps forward you'll feel better in no time as money gets freed up for other things.

thriftylass

Firstly, I try not to lecture you and tell you why do you have two kids, plus one from a pervious relationship and one on the way on that kind of salary, but it's too late and I can see you're trying really hard to rectify things and give your kids a good life

Rent: 750 (Paid upto date) Your right the area might be expensive and moving isn't cheap either but that's nearly half you joint income

Council Tax: 130 (Missed the last 2 months)

Electric: 150 (Missed the last 4 months) Way too high even if everything is electric, or does this already include a repayment plan for previous debt?

Water: 45 (Paid upto date)

My car insurance: 120 (cheapest available and 100% required for work) £120/month still sounds an aweful lot but I guess it depends on the car, your age etc.

Wife car insurance: 80 (Going to be off road in October) Good, that'll save a bit for a while

Internet/Mobile/Landline: 52 (Total cost for all 3, all upto date as internet is required for my job) when does your contract end though?

Fuel (ME): 200 per month (work commute)

Fuel (wife): 80 per month not anymore from October I guess?

Child Care: 60 per week, 240 per month.

Food: 350 per month (feeding 4 people, one dog) See previous advice, cook from scratch, Aldi and LIDL are you new best friends etc.

My bank charges: 30 per month

Wife Bank charges: 25 per month

Ccard charges: 15 per month.

Traveling to see my daughter (set by courts) £60 per month (she lives 160 miles away each way)

Student loan payments: 20 per month.

All the best and keep your head up

ShootForTheMoon

I think you need to sit down with your wife over the weekend and take a deep breath...
What's happened has happened and now you need yo work together to get yourselves out of the situation for the sake of your family.

Don't beat yourself up, but control the controllable.

I live in an area where housing is not cheap, some people who live elsewhere in the county fail to understand the markets in other areas. If this cant be changed, don't worry, moving us a huge expense, BUT do make sure you are receiving all of the benefits and subsidies available to you. (I can't help on this, but I'm sure others will be along soon)

Food bill as others have suggested could EASILY be cut in half. We spend £100 p/m for 2 on groceries including cleaning products - do all our shopping in Lidl and stock up at Home Bargains when I'm at home in Wales as we don't have one here.
Especially with your wife at home now she could be batch cooking fresh, healthy meals which would reduce your costs massively.

Could you not cycle to work?? 19 miles really isn't far - you could even build up to it, taking a bus part of the way and cycling the rest while you got used to it?? Would be good for your health and help you clear your head of worries when you're exercising for free and helping your family survive at the same time. Sometimes we have to make sacrifices.

Could you book megabus/train tickets to see your daughter - your car is costing far too much money... Why is your insurance so expensive?! Do you have points/convictions? If not I'd look again...

Keep a cool head and do a full SOA over the weekend with your wife so that you both know exactly what you're facing. Then post it on here so people can make suggestions...

Best of luck and most importantly, don't do anything stupid. Your family loves and needs you and are looking to you to sort this for their future's sake. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it!!

Chin up fella x

sharp82

Did I read somewhere else that you work in IT?

What sort of work is it? Could you do some freelance work? I set up websites for builders/plumbers etc in my spare time. Charge them £50 for set up, and do one or two per month.