Desperate. Worried I may do something stupid.

xe0n

Hi all.

Firstly I know I have posted a couple of times before but this has got a bit on top of me so I am going to put it all into one post to try and identify my best options. As let’s face it I have got things into a big mess. We are a young couple who are 24 years old.

I have been suffering with mental health issues (caused from severe stress and chronic depression) for the last few years and recently have been put on medication that caused me to lose control and take out stupid loans that I should not have been allowed to. I know I have been stupid and screwed up BIG time and I am desperate for help/advice before I end up doing something stupid.

I work full time (take home only £1190 per month), my wife has just had to leave work due to being signed off sick due to pregnancy complications (caused by stress …), her income will be about £300 per month now. We also have TWO dependents aged 3 and 5. Due to all the bills and demands we cant cover basics (IE: No fuel for work, no food)

We have no savings nor family who can help with this situation.

Now to the debts………………………….

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UNSECURED DEBTS:

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I have a QuickQuid payday loan of £540, (that is how much I borrowed and would end up paying £1200 back over one year). I can’t afford their payments of around £130/£150 per month. They have sent me a form to fill in with income and outgoings, could I make an arrangement of £20 per month?

I have a Pounds To Pocket loan of £700 (this is how much I borrowed and would end up paying £1100 over one year) I CAN just about afford the payments for this. £90 per month.

Very catalog (has been passed to debt collectors), Outstanding around £450 with £35 per month payment plan. I need to get this lowered to £10.

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OUTSTANDING BILLS:

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Electric is owed £900 and we are unable to pay them the £200 per month they are requesting, we can afford the “usual” £120 bill plus no more than £15 extra. Could they accept this?,

Council Tax (Old House). Outstanding £395, they are currently putting through an Attachment of Earnings order but they have also sent me a Income/outgoing form to complete as they have already put an attachment of earnings order to my name to pay off £1000 which was finally paid in Feb 2013, could I arrange around £10/£20 per month to pay this as an attachment of earnings order would cause us to completely fall under.

Council Tax (New House) Outstanding £200, again we can afford the usual payment but no more than £10 ontop.

Contents Insurance: Would be around £150 and its with solicitors, I can’t get any info about who to contact and Santander will not tell me as the account is closed????

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OTHER DEBTS

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Joint account overdraft @ minus 1200. Lloyds TSB want payment in full or £35 per month in the account, again I can’t afford this right now. I could do £10 per month via standing order.

Solo account overdraft @ minus 350 (UNDER CONTROL thankfully)

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BILLS COMMITMENTS PER MONTH

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Rent: 750 (Paid upto date)

Council Tax: 130 (Missed the last 2 months)

Electric: 150 (Missed the last 4 months)

Water: 45 (Paid upto date)

My car insurance: 120 (cheapest available and 100% required for work)

Wife car insurance: 80 (Going to be off road in October)

Internet/Mobile/Landline: 52 (Total cost for all 3, all upto date as internet is required for my job)

Fuel (ME): 200 per month (work commute)

Fuel (wife): 80 per month

Child Care: 60 per week, 240 per month.

Food: 350 per month (feeding 4 people, one dog)

My bank charges: 30 per month

Wife Bank charges: 25 per month

Ccard charges: 15 per month.

Traveling to see my daughter (set by courts) £60 per month (she lives 160 miles away each way)

Student loan payments: 20 per month.

There is maybe some more than above, however that is what I can think of right now. Again I know I have messed up and I need to fix this and get it under control and I don’t know who to turn to or who to talk to. My health and most importantly my wife’s health and our unborn child AND children are all suffering due to this stress and I feel like the worst person on earth, its my job to fix this somehow but I don't know what to do, im scared about all of-this and I am worried with my current health issues I may end up doing something stupid and I don't want to do that to my family.

Many thanks for taking the time to read this.

Xe0n.

Desperate

xe0n

Also this month to top it all off.

Our eldest started school, £150 for school uniform and equipment (we skipped bills / food for this)

My Car Tax @ £110 again skipped bills.

I had 3 days deducted pay due to taking time of last month due to stress, but no sick note so no pay.

My wife's car is due at the end of this month for Tax, MOT and insurance. I am so messed up over all of this, even now as I type I am shaking with fear on what to do.

paulineb_2

You need to look at cutting the costs down that you can. You spend £350 a month on food? That could be cut down, easily, even with 4 people and a pet to feed. There are plenty of places on this board that will help you put together shopping budgets.

Do you really need two cars? I understand with kids then yes its helpful, probably more than helpful, but many people have kids and use public transport.

Your priority is to tackle the debt and no more loans. Also, your medication made you take out loans?

How?

Why is your car required for work? do you do a lot of driving in the job?
No way you can use public transport.

My internet costs me £19 a month and there are cheaper packages than that I am sure. Plus you can get mobile contracts for £10 a month with unlimited texts. Its time to start shopping around.

I go to aldi and home bargains when I shop for food. I am sure you could get your food bill down to £200-250 a month even for the 4 of you and pet.

Skipping meals to pay bills isnt the way, neither is doing something silly.
And consider getting proper debt advice from a company that could help you work out what to pay your creditors while you get back on your feet, more than one thread on here about people's debt and places that can help.

scholesfan88

You need to start cutting back, your ongoing monthly bills are virtually double of what you earn. That's before paying back loans and old debts.

750 for rent is expensive, can you move to a lesser property? I dont know where you live but around here £750 gets you a new build 4 bed detatched on a nice estate. Thats not somewhere to be living when riddled with debt.

240 a month child care, can your partner not look after them now she's off work?

Get your prioritys right and never say you cant afford food, one thing we make sure of as parents is that theres a roof over there head and they have food. I'd rather default a million debts and be in court every week than have my children go hungry.

Are you claiming the right support? Working tax, child benefit ect...

craftyali

You need professional help - I am fairly new on here, but know there are loads of links for FREE help - Citizens Advice Bureau would be your first call I imagine.
You have taken the first step in asking for help, and also writing down everything that you need to spend on each month. I don't know you personally, so cannot comment on what you could cut out on - BUT do you NEED 2 cars? I notice that you say that your wife's car will be off the road in October - so can you just SORN it now and avoid paying tax etc?
There must be help available for school uniform etc? Also, are you claiming every benefit that you are entitled to? Again, CAB will be able to help with this.
Good luck with getting your finances sorted - and keep coming on here. There is so much support available.
Ali x

mummyroysof3

Firstly will wife be returning to work or of sick till he maternity leave starts? If she is then sell car don't need child are...that's a saving and can pay off some debt with car sale. Do you get everything benefit wise you can? Some sensible cut down on food possible?

paulineb_2

I agree. Look at moving to a cheaper property and yes, does your wife get tax credits and child benefit for the kids?

And definitely work out why you are spending so much on food. You can menu plan, shop in discount shops, freeze food if you have a freezer.

And if you take 3 days off for stress, you probably wouldnt get a sick note from your GP for an absence of less than 7 days but you should still have been able to fill in a self cert form and get paid for the days you were off sick

And I saw on another thread you had posted that you had use of a motorbike and you could take your car off the road for a while and use the bike instead, why not consider doing that?

And dont make yourself ill or stick your head in the sand hoping that all this will go away, its time to start tackling your finances properly, depression or not.

DCFC79

You say you have 2 lots of Council Tax, 1 for Old house and the other for new house, so d you have 2 houses ?

xe0n

You need to look at cutting the costs down that you can. You spend £350 a month on food? That could be cut down, easily, even with 4 people and a pet to feed. There are plenty of places on this board that will help you put together shopping budgets.

Do you really need two cars? I understand with kids then yes its helpful, probably more than helpful, but many people have kids and use public transport.

No we dont, my wife's car is out of Tax/MOT/Insurance end of this month, it is not being renewed.

Your priority is to tackle the debt and no more loans. Also, your medication made you take out loans?

Not exactly. I dont know how to explain it. Once I get a bee under my bonnet I end up doing it regardless of consequence even tho I know it is going to cause issues. I am trying to gain more self control but its something I have always been bad with. Maybe hitting rock bottom is a way to finally turn this around. Since going on the medication in the last month it has finaly made me feel more clear headed to fix things and not so irrational all the time. Its still in the early stages being investigated by the docs. I do not know what more to say.

How?

Why is your car required for work? do you do a lot of driving in the job?
No way you can use public transport.

No impossible, even though work is 19 miles each way, its 3 buses due to my works location in the middle of nowhere and it takes 2.5 hours each way via public transport at a daily cost of £9. Also with my wife's medical history and current situation being pregnant we need a car for emergency as we have no close family.

My internet costs me £19 a month and there are cheaper packages than that I am sure. Plus you can get mobile contracts for £10 a month with unlimited texts. Its time to start shopping around.

I have tried this but virgin media are asking for huge cancellation fees that we cant afford.

I go to aldi and home bargains when I shop for food. I am sure you could get your food bill down to £200-250 a month even for the 4 of you and pet.

Agreed

Skipping meals to pay bills isnt the way, neither is doing something silly.
And consider getting proper debt advice from a company that could help you work out what to pay your creditors while you get back on your feet, more than one thread on here about people's debt and places that can help.

xe0n

*Quote*

You need to start cutting back, your ongoing monthly bills are virtually double of what you earn. That's before paying back loans and old debts.

750 for rent is expensive, can you move to a lesser property? I dont know where you live but around here £750 gets you a new build 4 bed detatched on a nice estate. Thats not somewhere to be living when riddled with debt.

We live in the South, 750 per month is a good rate for a house and to move out / move into a new house with moving costs / deposits would be around £2k. Otherwise its a single room hostel on a 4 year waiting list. With two young kids and a new one on the way its not really an option right now.

240 a month child care, can your partner not look after them now she's off work?

Its actually over 1000 per month but we have to contribute 240 per month due to both working (although we are both underpaid for our jobs and obviously my wife is no longer working). We are considering this but my wife is trying to get work with her mothers company for office work, we will know in 3 weeks if this is possible and then would still need the Child care, which is scarce down south.

Get your prioritys right and never say you cant afford food, one thing we make sure of as parents is that theres a roof over there head and they have food. I'd rather default a million debts and be in court every week than have my children go hungry.

The kids eat regardless, its myself who would not. We never EVER let the kids go without food.

Are you claiming the right support? Working tax, child benefit ect...

As far as I can tell yes. But I am looking into this now the wife is out of work. It still wont catch up intime for the debtors who are all demanding money now.

xe0n

DCFC79 wrote: »

You say you have 2 lots of Council Tax, 1 for Old house and the other for new house, so d you have 2 houses ?

No the first bill is from a house we lived in over a year ago. I had an original debt of £900 with them and they took it over 12 months from my salary (attachment of earnings order).

HOWEVER, last week we received a letter indicating ANOTHER attachment of earnings order because Winchester City council had calculated it wrong and missed £390ish from the bill. Its only taken them 14 months to contact me with a letter demanding full payment or ANOTHER attachment of earnings order. Not one single letter or phone call or ANYTHING in 14 flaming months!, If I would have known about it we could have arranged a plan.