Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

heartbreak_star

Plaster on a big smile and tug your forelock a bit, as my dearly-departed Nan would say

HBS x

AlexLK

:rotfl: I'll try to behave myself.

Mara_uk7

Alex, your wife may earn more than you, but at the end of the day, your net worth is way more than hers ...

Stop doing yourself down, you are not inferior, a bit of a wimp perhaps sometimes, but that can be resolved with your counselling. Get those big boy trousers on and get back to working like the real world has had to.

I care ... Really !

heartbreak_star

I'm not sure the first half of that is true, but I totally agree with the second half

HBS x

Granariesgirl

Hello All & a very Happy New Year to you!

I'm back from France with lots of happy memories, smelly cheese & enough cases of wine to make sure the car wouldn't blow off the road in a high wind (a VERY high wind!)...:D

A lot of things seem to have happened on here during the Xmas period - that was a lot of reading for my first day back!

Bravo Alex for your 2nd F&F before 2014 started! That's what I call a great end to your first year of debtbusting. :T

Xmas "spirit"...
Pity about the row with FiL at Xmas but I can totally see his point: although your idea was logistically logical, it was lobbing a grenade into an emotional minefield given the history of "diplomatic relations" between the 2 families! I'm sure your suggestion was made with the best of intentions but it probably sounded like a deliberate insult to him. How about a short note (using one of your beautiful pens & some good paper) to say that you are sorry for any upset you caused & that no insult was intended from your suggestion? Perhaps an apology for insulting him in his own home on Xmas day would be good as well - show him you're a gentleman not the public school prat he suspects you are!
Why don't you have a rota as suggested by the wise bods of MSE? A 3 year cycle would be good as that would give you 1 year with each set of parents & one at home: it worked like a dream for us! You could all 3 vote on what to do for Xmas Eve, Day & Boxing Day next year (why not ask Little K!) & then just move everyone on a day each year. That way no surprises & it is much fairer.
After all does Mrs K REALLY want to go to the Insulting In-Laws every year or is she being EXTREMELY tolerant & loving towards you (& you taking full advantage of this)?

Now for the subject of schools...

AlexLK wrote: »

This is what my wife would like to do. We have a very small village school. The local senior schools couldn't be more different from one and other though: one is a very traditional school with a history dating back the 17th century, designated as a specialist music college (not sure if you need to play an instrument to get in though), attains high levels of achievement and has a fantastic school orchestra but the other is in special measures and by all accounts doesn't serve pupils very well at all.

Despite my - not OH's - doubts (public school snob & all that) about our small local school, it has been absolutely fantastic for both our kids. So much, in fact, that friends (more public school snobs) are seriously considering THEIR village school (on the other side of the country but judged just as good by OFSTED) for their DC! My DC1 is in a very good public secondary school where about 50% of the kids come from state primarys. All it cost us was the crammer for the entrance exam (under £500) which just concentrated on exam techniques, the test books & the time involved in coaching DC1 myself with advice from the crammer. Had DC1 failed, it would have been the very good state school, with no tears on our part - but given the choice, DC1 preferred (by a whisker & with much humming & ha-ing) the public school. The money we saved on private primary education bought us some lovely skiing & summer holidays with NO credit involved! (OK, not very MSE I admit but great fun for all!) And we have some money aside for a rainy day too!

Have you thought of doing a little forward planning to give yourselves more options for Little K? Perhaps looking into volunteering to help with music at the 17C musical secondary school or becoming a L.A. Governor there if there are places available? Officially this would have no bearing on their acceptance of Little K in the future but it would be a foolish Head who would risk losing a valuable volunteer by denying a place to their child, wouldn't it? It would also give you an inside view of the school & a better ability to judge its quality...

I think my DC1 is a better rounded person for going to the village school & I'm glad to say that the best friendships have so far managed to survive quite well! They all seem to appreciate having a mate "outside the wire" who has nothing to do with their everyday school life - long may that continue. DC1 has settled in very well & so far there have been no snobbery problems outside the usual pretentious little toad who has the latest computer/iphone & lets everyone know it (let's just call that child "No Mates" :cool:) but we had that at the state primary too.
In the end it's up to you & Mrs K. It should be a joint decision - remember that you may be an only child but you're one half of a pair of parents!

Last of all, 2014 goals...
Your goals are generally good but perhaps some are a bit vague while others tend towards the impossible to achieve in a lifetime. Make your goal something specific that you can tick off, not something that you can always do better on - that SMART thing mentioned earlier is great (& has been copied into my notebook)!
Here are my annotations, using my own overambitious, underachiving listmaking experience!:D

AlexLK wrote: »

2014 Goals

Business:
[STRIKE]Put at least[/STRIKE] WORK 4 hours [STRIKE]effort into at least[/STRIKE] on one aspect of the business per working day (Mon-Fri).
Apply for [STRIKE]any[/STRIKE] ONE business grant[STRIKE]s available[/STRIKE] by end of March 2014.
Build [STRIKE]and develop[/STRIKE] a website by end of XXX 2014.
Follow up all leads.:)
Keep track of all orders and completed orders.:)

Financial:
Pay off my [STRIKE]debts[/STRIKE] 1 remaining credit card debt by end of May 2014 & the other remaining credit card debt by Diary anniversary date.
Keep to the budget and review [STRIKE]as and when necessary[/STRIKE] quarterly.
Save £1,000 towards other debts &, once ALL debts cleared towards school/ holiday/ new fancy pen[delete as necessary].

Personal:
[STRIKE]Forget the alternative and try to think positively about living.[/STRIKE] Write down 2 things to be thankful for each day (can be as simple as seeing a stooping hawk or making someone smile).
Expand music teaching by X%.
[STRIKE]and [/STRIKE]see volunteering work through to completion of project in which engaged (you NEVER really finish volunteer work so just say you'll finish any project you start).
[STRIKE]Investigate other avenues of gaining added income[/STRIKE]. IMHO both you & I have a tendency to "investigate" too much - others would call this procrastinating & would be right! Concentrate on what you have: expanding your business & your music lessons which are known to pay, & you can always do up a car for fun & sell it at a profit occasionally 2just for fun"!
Hah, if only I could practise what I preach!
[STRIKE]Give up[/STRIKE] STOP drinking [STRIKE]during the week[/STRIKE] Monday to Thursday, inclusive ("Stop2 is positive, "give up" negative!).
Try [STRIKE]to stop being so selfish[/STRIKE] & think of others first & see things from their point of view (not JUST your parents!).

House:
[STRIKE]Fix roof[/STRIKE]. Get quotes for roof repair (check if work can be done in stages). Check references. Prioritise repairs. Repair most urgent problem before winter 2014 hits.
Fix central heating system. As above!
Restore kitchen units.:)

Righty oh, hope y'all haven't fallen asleep reading that essay! I'm now off to unload the vin from la voiture - work, work - never stops!

Catch you later.
xx

Iwillsucceed_2

Hi Alex!
Congratulations on paying some of your debt! I am loving your goals for this year :-) sometimes I do not think is about being positive or negative in life but about ATTITUDE!

In October, I attended a 8 week web design course for business and I got just the yeast out if it! I recognise that I would not be able to design a web from scratch but the little knowledge I acquired would help towards managing the content of it in future. Recently, I have come across some design your own web on the Internet such ad wix, vista print web builder. Have a look at them if you are thinking to design your own website for your business.

Regards

AlexLK

Mara_uk7 wrote: »

Alex, your wife may earn more than you, but at the end of the day, your net worth is way more than hers ...

Stop doing yourself down, you are not inferior, a bit of a wimp perhaps sometimes, but that can be resolved with your counselling. Get those big boy trousers on and get back to working like the real world has had to.

I care ... Really !

...and I'm convinced you get off on talking to me like I'm a child. You never know, perhaps I even don't mind. :rotfl:

AlexLK

heartbreak_star wrote: »

I'm not sure the first half of that is true, but I totally agree with the second half

HBS x

I presume she is speaking of my future inheritance, if this is the case, yes it's true.

AlexLK

Granariesgirl wrote: »

Hello All & a very Happy New Year to you!

I'm back from France with lots of happy memories, smelly cheese & enough cases of wine to make sure the car wouldn't blow off the road in a high wind (a VERY high wind!)...:D

Happy New Year and I presume you had a nice holiday.

Granariesgirl wrote: »

A lot of things seem to have happened on here during the Xmas period - that was a lot of reading for my first day back!

Bravo Alex for your 2nd F&F before 2014 started! That's what I call a great end to your first year of debtbusting. :T

Why, thank you *smug*.

Granariesgirl wrote: »

Xmas "spirit"...
Pity about the row with FiL at Xmas but I can totally see his point: although your idea was logistically logical, it was lobbing a grenade into an emotional minefield given the history of "diplomatic relations" between the 2 families! I'm sure your suggestion was made with the best of intentions but it probably sounded like a deliberate insult to him. How about a short note (using one of your beautiful pens & some good paper) to say that you are sorry for any upset you caused & that no insult was intended from your suggestion? Perhaps an apology for insulting him in his own home on Xmas day would be good as well - show him you're a gentleman not the public school prat he suspects you are!
Why don't you have a rota as suggested by the wise bods of MSE? A 3 year cycle would be good as that would give you 1 year with each set of parents & one at home: it worked like a dream for us! You could all 3 vote on what to do for Xmas Eve, Day & Boxing Day next year (why not ask Little K!) & then just move everyone on a day each year. That way no surprises & it is much fairer.
After all does Mrs K REALLY want to go to the Insulting In-Laws every year or is she being EXTREMELY tolerant & loving towards you (& you taking full advantage of this)?

Yes, it was meant with the best intentions but looking back I see why it was taken in the manner it was though I did not mean to insult him.

:rotfl: Nothing I could do would prevent him from thinking that I am "a prat".

The 3 year cycle does sound ideal but my parents would be very lonely on Christmas day without us and I doubt they'd go to my in-laws home. I suppose there is a certain amount of tolerance on my wife's part though.

Granariesgirl wrote: »

Now for the subject of schools...

Despite my - not OH's - doubts (public school snob & all that) about our small local school, it has been absolutely fantastic for both our kids. So much, in fact, that friends (more public school snobs) are seriously considering THEIR village school (on the other side of the country but judged just as good by OFSTED) for their DC! My DC1 is in a very good public secondary school where about 50% of the kids come from state primarys. All it cost us was the crammer for the entrance exam (under £500) which just concentrated on exam techniques, the test books & the time involved in coaching DC1 myself with advice from the crammer. Had DC1 failed, it would have been the very good state school, with no tears on our part - but given the choice, DC1 preferred (by a whisker & with much humming & ha-ing) the public school. The money we saved on private primary education bought us some lovely skiing & summer holidays with NO credit involved! (OK, not very MSE I admit but great fun for all!) And we have some money aside for a rainy day too!

Have you thought about getting a job in sales, Granariesgirl? Because, I better not show Mrs. K. this but I'm almost thinking about reconsidering somewhat and if we went that route we most certainly could afford to send him to a much better school at 13.

What happened between the ages of 11-13?

Granariesgirl wrote: »

Have you thought of doing a little forward planning to give yourselves more options for Little K? Perhaps looking into volunteering to help with music at the 17C musical secondary school or becoming a L.A. Governor there if there are places available? Officially this would have no bearing on their acceptance of Little K in the future but it would be a foolish Head who would risk losing a valuable volunteer by denying a place to their child, wouldn't it? It would also give you an inside view of the school & a better ability to judge its quality...

I hadn't thought about this, no. However, it is something I could be interested in. This coming term I am doing some musical volunteering, I think it may prove very challenging for me (it basically involves teaching some basic musicianship and a little violin to children from, erm, "disadvantaged backgrounds") but I'm going to try and complete the time I have promised them. So, we'll see how this works out.

Granariesgirl wrote: »

I think my DC1 is a better rounded person for going to the village school & I'm glad to say that the best friendships have so far managed to survive quite well! They all seem to appreciate having a mate "outside the wire" who has nothing to do with their everyday school life - long may that continue. DC1 has settled in very well & so far there have been no snobbery problems outside the usual pretentious little toad who has the latest computer/iphone & lets everyone know it (let's just call that child "No Mates" :cool:) but we had that at the state primary too.
In the end it's up to you & Mrs K. It should be a joint decision - remember that you may be an only child but you're one half of a pair of parents!

Were you careful about who at the village school your child mixed with?

:rotfl: OK, as I hate the idea of my son having computers, iPhones etc. I'd be livid if we have anything like that to deal with.

Yes, Mrs. K. has her say too, rather difficult when you both want different things and are perhaps not getting on as well as you would like to be.

Granariesgirl wrote: »

Last of all, 2014 goals...
Your goals are generally good but perhaps some are a bit vague while others tend towards the impossible to achieve in a lifetime. Make your goal something specific that you can tick off, not something that you can always do better on - that SMART thing mentioned earlier is great (& has been copied into my notebook)!
Here are my annotations, using my own overambitious, underachiving listmaking experience!:D

Righty oh, hope y'all haven't fallen asleep reading that essay! I'm now off to unload the vin from la voiture - work, work - never stops!

Catch you later.
xx

Thank you, your annotations have helped me to focus on things a little more specifically. I am as you rightly assumed a terrible procrastinator. Have managed the work one today and a couple of others.

I'm planning to deal with the roof, just a few tiles need replacing, I think. May have a go at the heating system if I'm feeling brave.

Speak soon.

AlexLK

Iwillsucceed wrote: »

Hi Alex!
Congratulations on paying some of your debt! I am loving your goals for this year :-) sometimes I do not think is about being positive or negative in life but about ATTITUDE!

In October, I attended a 8 week web design course for business and I got just the yeast out if it! I recognise that I would not be able to design a web from scratch but the little knowledge I acquired would help towards managing the content of it in future. Recently, I have come across some design your own web on the Internet such ad wix, vista print web builder. Have a look at them if you are thinking to design your own website for your business.

Regards

Thank you.

I don't think I'm going to be able to build the website from scratch either, I shall need to enlist at least some help.

I'll have a look at the design your own tools.