Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

maman

LannieDuck wrote: »

Oh gosh, not superior at all. I hope I don't come across that way in my posts.

I plan to do with my children what my parents did for me - find a 'good' state school and send them there, see how they go, and be prepared to consider private school if state school doesn't work out. Although I see no reason to think it shouldn't.

We're definitely not doing private school for pre-prep or the equivalent of infant/junior education (is that prep school?).

If I can put my 2p's worth in here: although I'm philosophically opposed to private schooling I do defend the right of anyone to spend their own money as they think fit and wouldn't dream of playing politics with my children. So I did send my own daughter to a private Junior school as I could just see her marking time in the catchment state school. We then moved areas and she went to a perfectly good state secondary. Subsequently went to University, got a First .....

Other point is that you don't really have the money to embark on paying for education for LittleK for the next 20 years. I know that bank of mum and dad would step in but that's maybe not what you want for your self esteem.

I'd advise, as others have said, that you send him to state school at least until Common Entrance even if you pay for tutors to help him with the tests (may not be needed). This isn't just a money thing, I think LittleK could genuinely benefit from some experience of the 'real world'. It would give him a more rounded personality, toughen him a little if he mixed with some potential 'scummies'. Too much cotton-woolling (is that a word?) isn't good.

AlexLK wrote: »

I should hope he isn't me, fingers crossed he'll grow up to be more like his mother than like I.

:rotfl:

I'm not sure I agree with that sentiment. My benevolent side hopes that the way MrsK is behaving is a bit of tough love to force you into living within your means. On another day I think she's being extremely selfish. Forgive me if I'm wrong but as I recall you both had well paid jobs but you had to leave yours due to stress-related illness. Now she's adopted an 'I'm all right Jack' attitude and is going to treat herself to a very expensive [STRIKE]toy[/STRIKE] car while you put all your depleted earnings into day to day living. Would she be behaving in that way if you'd had a catastrophic accident or a life-threatening illness???

Sorry to sound off. Happy New Year!

AlexLK

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Seems to be about what other people think, AGAIN...given all the evidence pointing towards state schooling that you've been given.

Wait until you are debt-free and have closed every avenue or credit available to you.

Then decide

Ooo - I forgot - I did say I'd had a bad private school experience...but with students from them, rather than the schools themselves I knew some incredible bullies that came from private schools, and also several habitual drug users and a dealer. Knew there was something I remembered!

HBS x

I do see where you are coming from regarding deciding after the debt is clear.

I just cannot help but feel we are talking about exceptions here, on both sides. I am sure there are good state schools out there and awful independent ones. I do not remember drug taking at school or anything of the like, a bit of cheeky drinking and smoking maybe but you aren't telling me that state school pupils are whiter than white? Admittedly, none of my old school friends are friends anymore but I'd say that's nothing unusual.

This is quite embarrassing but one of the reasons I want him to not do half and half is I was not very nice to kids I knew had come from a state background / parents had made obvious sacrifices. Yes, I know it was not good behaviour now, says more about me than it does about them and they're the ones laughing but I would not want my son subjected to a younger version of me.

maman wrote: »

If I can put my 2p's worth in here: although I'm philosophically opposed to private schooling I do defend the right of anyone to spend their own money as they think fit and wouldn't dream of playing politics with my children. So I did send my own daughter to a private Junior school as I could just see her marking time in the catchment state school. We then moved areas and she went to a perfectly good state secondary. Subsequently went to University, got a First .....

Other point is that you don't really have the money to embark on paying for education for LittleK for the next 20 years. I know that bank of mum and dad would step in but that's maybe not what you want for your self esteem.

I'd advise, as others have said, that you send him to state school at least until Common Entrance even if you pay for tutors to help him with the tests (may not be needed). This isn't just a money thing, I think LittleK could genuinely benefit from some experience of the 'real world'. It would give him a more rounded personality, toughen him a little if he mixed with some potential 'scummies'. Too much cotton-woolling (is that a word?) isn't good.

Thank you for your reply, I've found it's gave me a few things to think about.

I have to admit to cotton-woolling, with regards to whom I allow him to mix with.

maman wrote: »

I'm not sure I agree with that sentiment. My benevolent side hopes that the way MrsK is behaving is a bit of tough love to force you into living within your means. On another day I think she's being extremely selfish. Forgive me if I'm wrong but as I recall you both had well paid jobs but you had to leave yours due to stress-related illness. Now she's adopted an 'I'm all right Jack' attitude and is going to treat herself to a very expensive [STRIKE]toy[/STRIKE] car while you put all your depleted earnings into day to day living. Would she be behaving in that way if you'd had a catastrophic accident or a life-threatening illness???

Sorry to sound off. Happy New Year!

I've put my wife through some horrible times, not intentionally, I'm a weak person. However, she deserves to have some happiness and a few toys. I left my previous employment due to having what I can only call a mental breakdown which I have never fully recovered from. It was partly due to work related issues and partly my personal circumstances at the time. Now I don't think I could go back into full time employment. Things would likely be different had I fallen due to an accident or a life threatening illness.

Happy New Year, also.

heartbreak_star

Oh god no teenagers are whiter than white haha! You get idiots everywhere, but he's going to meet them wherever he goes.

Flip subjecting him to a younger version of you...what if he BECAME a younger version of you at private school? How would you feel if he ragged on kids who weren't rich because he'd never mixed with them?

You really need to stop the cotton-wooling and let him grow up to be a rounded individual. I am also wondering whether the parents at a private school would be a worse influence on YOU than those from a state school. Yeah you get to feel (incorrectly) superior at the school gates of a state comp, but surely hearing about the fancy skiing holidays and brand-new cars owned by the parents at a paid school might tempt you into debt again?

If it were my choice I would disband all private schools. I absolutely disagree with them. Mind you, I'd also disband all faith schools and ban Creationism from being taught as fact!

(Hurrah, first rant of 2014 done )

HBS x

7roland8

AlexLK wrote: »

2014 Goals

Business:
Put at least 4 hours effort into at least one aspect of the business per working day (Mon-Fri).
Apply for any business grants available.
Build and develop a website.
Follow up all leads.
Keep track of all orders and completed orders.

Financial:
Pay off my debts.
Keep to the budget and review as and when necessary.
Save £1,000.

Personal:
Forget the alternative and [STRIKE]try[/STRIKE] to think positively about living. No - just think positively
Expand music teaching and see volunteering work through to completion.
Investigate other avenues of gaining added income.
Give up drinking during the week.
[STRIKE]Try [/STRIKE]to stop being so selfish. No - just stop

House:
Fix roof.
Fix central heating system.
Restore kitchen units.

Be positive remember - no half measures or being half hearted - go for it fully committed.

heartbreak_star

I'd also add to goals...:

"Learn to be comfortable wth my lot in life, but also be the best person I can be."

HBS x

AlexLK

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Oh god no teenagers are whiter than white haha! You get idiots everywhere, but he's going to meet them wherever he goes.

Flip subjecting him to a younger version of you...what if he BECAME a younger version of you at private school? How would you feel if he ragged on kids who weren't rich because he'd never mixed with them?

Well, I'd not be pleased in the slightest.

heartbreak_star wrote: »

You really need to stop the cotton-wooling and let him grow up to be a rounded individual. I am also wondering whether the parents at a private school would be a worse influence on YOU than those from a state school. Yeah you get to feel (incorrectly) superior at the school gates of a state comp, but surely hearing about the fancy skiing holidays and brand-new cars owned by the parents at a paid school might tempt you into debt again?

I was not allowed to mix with people my parents disapproved of.

I am aware that I am not superior to most (if any) parents of children at a state school, after all I earn next to nothing and would likely have to live with my parents if it weren't for my wife's income. I likely would make no friends at the gates of either.

heartbreak_star wrote: »

If it were my choice I would disband all private schools. I absolutely disagree with them. Mind you, I'd also disband all faith schools and ban Creationism from being taught as fact!

(Hurrah, first rant of 2014 done )

HBS x

:rotfl: Something we agree on! I can't be doing with the whole church element within schools either and would absolutely ban Creationism from being taught as fact too.

AlexLK

7roland8 wrote: »

Be positive remember - no half measures or being half hearted - go for it fully committed.

I'm already failing to manage this. :mad:

heartbreak_star wrote: »

I'd also add to goals...:

"Learn to be comfortable wth my lot in life, but also be the best person I can be."

HBS x

I very much doubt I'll be comfortable with my lot in life until I inherit.

heartbreak_star

AlexLK wrote: »

I very much doubt I'll be comfortable with my lot in life until I inherit.

IMO, that's not your lot. It's your parents'. Stop wishing your life away until your inheritance and bloody well crack on with things like us plebs do

HBS x

AlexLK

I could probably learn a thing or two from you "plebs" (your words, not mine).

Mrs. K. has gone to Nottingham this evening with her brother and their mutual friends. My mind has turned to very sombre thoughts, breaking my resolutions before even the 2nd, it appears.

7roland8

heartbreak_star wrote: »

IMO, that's not your lot. It's your parents'. Stop wishing your life away until your inheritance and bloody well crack on with things like us plebs do

HBS x

Yes a bit like people who.put off things until their retirement or the kids leave, but then drop dead.