Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

AlexLK

Roland: Guess 2014 ought to be the year I try to sort myself out. Wanting to is a start, isn't it?

maman

AlexLK wrote: »

This is quite embarrassing but one of the reasons I want him to not do half and half is I was not very nice to kids I knew had come from a state background / parents had made obvious sacrifices. Yes, I know it was not good behaviour now, says more about me than it does about them and they're the ones laughing but I would not want my son subjected to a younger version of me.

I've put my wife through some horrible times, not intentionally, I'm a weak person. However, she deserves to have some happiness and a few toys. I left my previous employment due to having what I can only call a mental breakdown which I have never fully recovered from. It was partly due to work related issues and partly my personal circumstances at the time. Now I don't think I could go back into full time employment. Things would likely be different had I fallen due to an accident or a life threatening illness.

Happy New Year, also.

I think you may be a bit out of date here Alex. While I can't speak for Derbyshire, in my professional experience in Hampshire the recession has hit private schools hard. I'm not talking about Winchester College;) but the 'mediocre' private schools have huge problems recruiting. It's commonplace for children to go to private nursery (part paid by government subsidy) then into state Primary and then maybe into private secondary. Many others go to state secondaries that parents 'buy' into the catchments or bus (or 4 by 4 :rotfl:) them in.

MrsK's attitude (and your parents come to that) to mental illness stinks!! They just seem to think it's as easy as pulling yourself together and hoping you'll get a proper job.

AlexLK wrote: »

I very much doubt I'll be comfortable with my lot in life until I inherit.

That's the crux IMO.

I'd love to think that even though you know (and we know) this will be the final outcome you'd have the personal pride to sort out your debts and live within your means until this day comes.

AlexLK

maman wrote: »

I think you may be a bit out of date here Alex.

I'm a child of the '80s, when greed was good.

maman wrote: »

While I can't speak for Derbyshire, in my professional experience in Hampshire the recession has hit private schools hard. I'm not talking about Winchester College;) but the 'mediocre' private schools have huge problems recruiting. It's commonplace for children to go to private nursery (part paid by government subsidy) then into state Primary and then maybe into private secondary. Many others go to state secondaries that parents 'buy' into the catchments or bus (or 4 by 4 :rotfl:) them in.

I can't say I've looked that closely into it. My parents want him to go to my old schools which I've no doubt will have little problems in recruiting, we absolutely cannot afford that though.

maman wrote: »

MrsK's attitude (and your parents come to that) to mental illness stinks!! They just seem to think it's as easy as pulling yourself together and hoping you'll get a proper job.

Something like that. To be honest when I was younger, I really didn't think I'd suffer from any sort of mental illness. Now, it may as well have consumed me.

maman wrote: »

That's the crux IMO.

I'd love to think that even though you know (and we know) this will be the final outcome you'd have the personal pride to sort out your debts and live within your means until this day comes.

Believe it or not I'm actually more determined to sort the debt problem out than I have been about most things in a long time. Must have some self pride left, somewhere.

maman

AlexLK wrote: »

Believe it or not I'm actually more determined to sort the debt problem out than I have been about most things in a long time. Must have some self pride left, somewhere.

Brilliant!!!:D

littlegreenparrot

Happy new year, may all your wishes come true

With a view to helping make that happen I have some suggestions regarding your goals. They look great, but are fairly chunky. We all like to feel we're making progress, and it is especially important for someone like yourself who struggles to recognise progress made

So, for example. I cannot think about losing 3 stone, all to much/to difficult etc etc. What I can do, is not eat between meals today, and go swimming/running (swam this morning - hard work after all the xmas goodies :rotfl: ). By the end of next week that will have had an impact.

If you break your goals into weekly/monthly chunks it makes it much more achievable. Develop website could become, find a book/person by the end of next week who can help me start on website.
I love SMART (specific/measurable/achievable/realistic/timely) goals, very motivating and helps me to not drift off into doing something more interesting but less helpful!

AlexLK

littlegreenparrot wrote: »

Happy new year, may all your wishes come true

Happy New Year and I live in hope.

littlegreenparrot wrote: »

With a view to helping make that happen I have some suggestions regarding your goals. They look great, but are fairly chunky. We all like to feel we're making progress, and it is especially important for someone like yourself who struggles to recognise progress made

So, for example. I cannot think about losing 3 stone, all to much/to difficult etc etc. What I can do, is not eat between meals today, and go swimming/running (swam this morning - hard work after all the xmas goodies :rotfl: ). By the end of next week that will have had an impact.

If you break your goals into weekly/monthly chunks it makes it much more achievable. Develop website could become, find a book/person by the end of next week who can help me start on website.
I love SMART (specific/measurable/achievable/realistic/timely) goals, very motivating and helps me to not drift off into doing something more interesting but less helpful!

And herein lies the problem; what made me think I was doing well yesterday makes me nauseous at the mere thought of today.

I can't get in the right mindset to do any work and yet need to go out to see a customer later, positivity has once again fallen by the wayside, on the verge of a row with my wife and just to top it off I'm badly craving a stiff drink. Nice start.

heartbreak_star

AlexLK wrote: »

I'm a child of the '80s, when greed was good.

Me too (well, 1979). What's your point...?

HBS x

littlegreenparrot

"And herein lies the problem; what made me think I was doing well yesterday makes me nauseous at the mere thought of today.

I can't get in the right mindset to do any work and yet need to go out to see a customer later, positivity has once again fallen by the wayside, on the verge of a row with my wife and just to top it off I'm badly craving a stiff drink. Nice start. "

I don't know that any of us are ready for work today, I'm certainly not, why do you think I'm hanging round here?!

The goals you had mentioned were for the year anyway, I'm simply suggesting breaking them into smaller, more manageable bits. As ever they are suggestions of things I have found helpful in the past.

Work out what absolutely has to happen today and concentrate on that. As for the drink, I came in to find someone very sweet had left chocs on my desk - don't imagine they'll last long :rotfl:But it won't be the end of the world if they don't.

heartbreak_star

Definitely wasn't a work-ready feeling in our house this morning either, and I'm currently trying to resist the cake in our coffee room!

Even if you can't get into the frame of mind to actually DO anything, have a chat with and work something out with the customer. Push yourself to do even a little bit

HBS x

AlexLK

littlegreenparrot wrote: »

I don't know that any of us are ready for work today, I'm certainly not, why do you think I'm hanging round here?!

The goals you had mentioned were for the year anyway, I'm simply suggesting breaking them into smaller, more manageable bits. As ever they are suggestions of things I have found helpful in the past.

Work out what absolutely has to happen today and concentrate on that. As for the drink, I came in to find someone very sweet had left chocs on my desk - don't imagine they'll last long :rotfl:But it won't be the end of the world if they don't.

:rotfl: I forget people have real jobs.

Thank you, I do understand the SMART concept even if I find it difficult to put into practice.

Done a little more work on the business grant application, which has helped foster a little more motivation or perhaps that's because she who must be obeyed has taken son swimming.

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Definitely wasn't a work-ready feeling in our house this morning either, and I'm currently trying to resist the cake in our coffee room!

Even if you can't get into the frame of mind to actually DO anything, have a chat with and work something out with the customer. Push yourself to do even a little bit

HBS x

Thanks, glad I'm not the only one.

This one maybe the difference between whether or not I take a salary, so I better at least try, doesn't help that this particular customer is very, well, particular.