Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

AlexLK

7roland8 wrote: »

Oh yes but thats doing things together and having fun sort of cookery.

What you need to get used to is the ordinary just cooking a quick meal sort of thing - not a once in a blue moon event.

Thats the difference between doing some fancy embroidery as a hobby when you feel like it compared to shortening son's trousers for school when you are tired and have a headache!

You're right, it is.

And yes, we need to get used to that. Mrs. K. seems to think it is mainly my responsibility as she "works hard", oh and I don't :rotfl:. That doesn't help things and I don't want to argue about something so trivial.

Iwillsucceed_2

Alex... Sometimes I wonder who is MORE vulnerable, your mother who puts on a brave face or your dad who realises and question on his late age a few behaviours and who is prone to becoming ill often...

My parents are very old, my dad is 85 years old and there is no one night I pray to all the Gods and Ateo religions for my father to be alive for me to see him again. So , it really touches me deeply that you were entertaining your dad! You should? Do that more often..

Night, night

mum2one

AlexLK wrote: »

I agree not everyday can be perfect. I'm not sure anybody is 100% a MSE'er ALL of the time in all honesty. However, we're all on the road as you say.

Yes, been trying to cheer him up a little.

I totally agree, I work on the basis if I can be mse 60 to 75% of the time I'm doing ok. xx

AlexLK

I see my parents most days, often "entertaining" them. My father and I get along very well, he persuaded mother to give me a second chance after a few years of not seeing one and other. I suppose I get on with my mother less well, she's very "set in her ways", can be rather scathing and does indeed put on a brave face. However, she only wants the best for us and finds it very upsetting to realise they are both getting older.

Recently, father has had some tests done to prove he doesn't have a couple of very serious conditions but over those weeks I confess to praying for him even though I'm not particularly religious. I doubt God would want to help me but there's always that off chance, eh? Thankfully he's OK though.

AlexLK

mum2one wrote: »

I totally agree, I work on the basis if I can be mse 60 to 75% of the time I'm doing ok. xx

I settle for 50% at the moment.

gallygirl

AlexLK wrote: »

I settle for 50% at the moment.

You're being unfair to yourself when you consider your starting point . You've come a very long way in a short space of time :T.

I think you and Mrs K need to accept the fact that you're not going to be in the 'knit your own yogurt' brigade and set a more realistic budget which does allow for takeways and meals out. So rather than feeling you 'failed' yesterday you can say 'right, that's 2 weeks eating out money gone' - might help you have less 'sod it I've failed, pass the wine' moments .

Do you have a planner/diary type thing? NO ALEX DO NOT GO OUT AND BUY A SMYTHSON . You could put planned meals out in there plus all events and identify which nights need to be quick and easy. Start to put some structure in place and you'll be able to plan meals better.

Do consider buying a cheap slow cooker and bung in a stew. It's so quick to prepare and the smells as the day progresses will be fabulous. Mrs K will think you're a genius . And most women find chefs VERY attractive .

Tilly_MFW_in_6_YRS

Hi Alex, dropping by to give a bit of menu planning advice. I take time out each month to sit with a selection of books and plan the menu for the month ahead. I have a column to remind me of the recipe book and page no, a column for specific items required, if not run of the milk which I always have available. Than a column for activities to remind me if the children are out, or we are etc. This reminds me if it needs to be quick.

I batch cook meals and freeze, rarely buy ready made food, although do tend to keep a couple of pizza's available in case of emergency.

DS will often rustle up a cake if required as I don't buy much 'rubbish' and DD will take nuts and warm spices etc to make a snack if we need one over the weekends.

Like GG I use a wok frequently. In fact my wok and SC are invaluable. SC recipe books recommending food is swimming in liquid are useless, very little liquid is required.

Don't beat yourself up for going off plan a little - life changes and we adapt. Looks like you have made great progress and I wish you well.

We all live different lives and being mega frugal all the time is easy for some and challenging for others.

Best wishes Tilly x

PS- I have some glorious propelling pencils which my father gave to me years ago

bess1234_2

£55 on food yesterday. Shine a light Alex.

You are drinking again therefore are lethargic and heading back to the self pity. Time for a breather, a review, and a new challenge with a huge kick up the bum.

So why don't you cook weekdays and she washes up and reverse for weekends, or take turns, or batch cook. So you literally pulling it out of freezer and re heating it half the week. Find solutions like all grown ups do, this is getting very boring. Have you got your shell suit out, cos raising kids on takeaways usually requires a shell suit and being really common! And your wrong about the freezer.

As Mara said, back to excuses. Have you been on mood gym website yet Alex? Or counselling referral. You know you are just tripping yourself up again . You've done great for months. But you know how easy it would be to go backwards

AlexLK

gallygirl wrote: »

You're being unfair to yourself when you consider your starting point . You've come a very long way in a short space of time :T.

I think you and Mrs K need to accept the fact that you're not going to be in the 'knit your own yogurt' brigade and set a more realistic budget which does allow for takeways and meals out. So rather than feeling you 'failed' yesterday you can say 'right, that's 2 weeks eating out money gone' - might help you have less 'sod it I've failed, pass the wine' moments .

Thank you. However, make no mistake I do not find this easy in any way, apart from the DIY birthday party for my son. We have found getting things together for that easy.

That does make things a bit easier. I do feel annoyed about how much we "waste" on food, as it could be going on things I'd rather be buying.

gallygirl wrote: »

Do you have a planner/diary type thing? NO ALEX DO NOT GO OUT AND BUY A SMYTHSON . You could put planned meals out in there plus all events and identify which nights need to be quick and easy. Start to put some structure in place and you'll be able to plan meals better.

Do consider buying a cheap slow cooker and bung in a stew. It's so quick to prepare and the smells as the day progresses will be fabulous. Mrs K will think you're a genius . And most women find chefs VERY attractive .

Yes, I do. However, it is impossible to tell if my day is going to be busy or not apart from allocated appointments. Structure seems difficult to achieve, as I'm often working into the night: sorting paperwork out, looking for things to buy (not to keep), doing my books etc. Nobody seems to think I do anything with my days. In fact, in somebody's eyes I've now got "some purpose" since I've started doing music lessons as before that I was apparently "unemployed" according to that particular person.

By the same token my working arrangements annoy my parents as they are often left to "pick up the pieces", looking after my son at the drop of a hat. Something I don't feel too good about.

:rotfl: We are DEFINITELY eating in tonight. Don't have a slow cooker at the moment but could easily do something like a casserole.

Tilly_MFW_in_6_YRS wrote: »

Hi Alex, dropping by to give a bit of menu planning advice. I take time out each month to sit with a selection of books and plan the menu for the month ahead. I have a column to remind me of the recipe book and page no, a column for specific items required, if not run of the milk which I always have available. Than a column for activities to remind me if the children are out, or we are etc. This reminds me if it needs to be quick.

I batch cook meals and freeze, rarely buy ready made food, although do tend to keep a couple of pizza's available in case of emergency.

DS will often rustle up a cake if required as I don't buy much 'rubbish' and DD will take nuts and warm spices etc to make a snack if we need one over the weekends.

Like GG I use a wok frequently. In fact my wok and SC are invaluable. SC recipe books recommending food is swimming in liquid are useless, very little liquid is required.

Don't beat yourself up for going off plan a little - life changes and we adapt. Looks like you have made great progress and I wish you well.

We all live different lives and being mega frugal all the time is easy for some and challenging for others.

Best wishes Tilly x

PS- I have some glorious propelling pencils which my father gave to me years ago

Tilly,

Thank you. Mrs. K. and I are rather envious of "organised people". I do dread our son having his own activities (not that I begrudge him), more I don't quite know how we'll get him to a certain place at a certain time EVERY time.

Onto more interesting things; being a musician, I like pencils almost as much as pens and have quite a few.

bess1234 wrote: »

£55 on food yesterday. Shine a light Alex.

You are drinking again therefore are lethargic and heading back to the self pity. Time for a breather, a review, and a new challenge with a huge kick up the bum.

So why don't you cook weekdays and she washes up and reverse for weekends, or take turns, or batch cook. So you literally pulling it out of freezer and re heating it half the week. Find solutions like all grown ups do, this is getting very boring. Have you got your shell suit out, cos raising kids on takeaways usually requires a shell suit and being really common! And your wrong about the freezer.

As Mara said, back to excuses. Have you been on mood gym website yet Alex? Or counselling referral. You know you are just tripping yourself up again . You've done great for months. But you know how easy it would be to go backwards

Bess: Thank you for the "kick up the rear" this morning, I needed it.

Today is definitely going to be alcohol free as drinking too much doesn't seem to do me any favours.

I have a while back and as for counselling, I meant to organise something but haven't had time yet.

gallygirl

AlexLK wrote: »

it is impossible to tell if my day is going to be busy or not apart from allocated appointments. Structure seems difficult to achieve, as I'm often working into the night: sorting paperwork out, looking for things to buy (not to keep), doing my books etc.

All the more reason to bung on the slow cooker in the morning. We're not letting you get away with it you know :rotfl:. The beauty of it is if you end up getting home 2 hours later than planned it won't be ruined - just extra tender . Am sure you can find 10 mins in the morning - instead of coming on here for instance .