Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

AlexLK · 19 October 2013 at 7:37PM

MollyMischief wrote: »

Why don't you try and turn a negative into a positive and look at it this way......if your parents are spending a lot on little one for his birthday it means that you don't have to!!

What I would say is that children will get lots of presents when they're little, but it's the experiences they remember. We have three kids, 10, 8 and 5 and the deal in our house is 'party or present'. In other words, their party is their present from us!! Last year my eldest thought long and hard about what to have as he was saving up for something, but the party won out. They will always look back and remember the fun times they had with their friends, but they may not remember what present they had. I'm sure whatever you decide your young man will have a fab day x

We'll try our best to make sure he does

. It won't be so clear-cut as a party or present but we can't afford to spend a lot of money on toys he won't play with. I have started making a present for him in a few years (yes it will take me a long time to complete) in the form of a model railway.

My parents always spend a lot of money on him, I do know they've bought him a pedal plane from America for Christmas. Mrs. K. wants to invite her family over for his birthday which after last night I don't mind. However, my parents will expect us to be at theirs and their grounds are much better for a party than ours.

AlexLK · 19 October 2013 at 7:41PM

7roland8 wrote: »

Yes my sister often gives grandchildren a small gift as she says they get so much there's no point in just buying for the sake of it - she takes them out and spends tome with them - which is worth more than a plastic toy - and they don't even notice.

Roland, it'd take a VERY brave person to tell my parents this.

:eek:

They've already made snide comments about Mrs. K.'s family's planned gifts to us which my wife was quite annoyed about.

AlexLK · 19 October 2013 at 8:22PM

Saturday 19th October, 2013.
Day 48.

Dear Diary,

First of all, I must apologise for yesterday was the first day in almost 50 days that I did not make a diary entry as I did not get home until half past one in the morning. Still, I'll make no apologies for yesterday evening as it was not only a great recital but fantastic to catch up with the organist (an old school friend). It was somewhat refreshing to talk to somebody from my old school that is living a life somewhat similar to mine, although he is actually happy to be "poor".

After the concert and subsequent chat, we dropped into Mrs. K.'s parents' to say "hello" which led us to be there for a further couple of hours. She must have said something as for the first time in a long time, I got on well with them and was rather disappointed to say my goodbyes until our son's birthday.

Debt busting has unfortunately not really been thought about either yesterday or today and in reality I am aware we have spent far too much money over the past week or so. On the positive side, I have forgone a drink tonight and my health seems in a little more positive state.

Summary

:
+£50.00 Music teaching.
-£7.00 Groceries.
-£65.00 Clothing for son.
-£20.00 Recital (Friday)
-£15.00 Bottle of wine after recital (Friday)
-£70.00 Petrol - BMW.

Yours Faithfully,
Alex.

7roland8 · 19 October 2013 at 8:36PM

AlexLK wrote: »

Roland, it'd take a VERY brave person to tell my parents this. :eek:

They've already made snide comments about Mrs. K.'s family's planned gifts to us which my wife was quite annoyed about.

I'd say that making snide comments just reflects badly on how they were brought up!

AlexLK · 19 October 2013 at 8:44PM

7roland8 wrote: »

I'd say that making snide comments just reflects badly on how they were brought up!

Now that I would pay to see.

Seriously, as much as I love them and as good as they are to my son and I, recently I have come to realise how I became the man I did, with the attitudes and values I had. I suppose in some ways I do understand Mrs. K.'s family's point of view.

fc123 · 19 October 2013 at 10:08PM

AlexLK wrote: »

Saturday 19th October, 2013.
Day 48.

Dear Diary,

First of all, I must apologise for yesterday was the first day in almost 50 days that I did not make a diary entry as I did not get home until half past one in the morning. Still, I'll make no apologies for yesterday evening as it was not only a great recital but fantastic to catch up with the organist (an old school friend). It was somewhat refreshing to talk to somebody from my old school that is living a life somewhat similar to mine, although he is actually happy to be "poor".

After the concert and subsequent chat, we dropped into Mrs. K.'s parents' to say "hello" which led us to be there for a further couple of hours. She must have said something as for the first time in a long time, I got on well with them and was rather disappointed to say my goodbyes until our son's birthday.

Debt busting has unfortunately not really been thought about either yesterday or today and in reality I am aware we have spent far too much money over the past week or so. On the positive side, I have forgone a drink tonight and my health seems in a little more positive state.

Summary :
+£50.00 Music teaching.
-£7.00 Groceries.
-£65.00 Clothing for son.
-£20.00 Recital (Friday)
-£15.00 Bottle of wine after recital (Friday)
-£70.00 Petrol - BMW.

Yours Faithfully,
Alex.

:hello: This all sounds pretty positive. I am so glad the music is back being part of your everyday life, it was the 1st thing that jumped out at me when you wrote your 1st thread.

I wonder if you could get your parents to talk about their upbringings or even the lives of their parents as there is probably some deep rooted fear of 'being poor' and being around 'poor people'. What I mean is also how they define 'poor' people as well...I have a feeling that one or both lived a hard lifestyle that money then swept them away from.

Before anyone takes what I have written out of context I have put 'poor' people into thingies as it is a word that crops up quite a bit. I think there is a difference between materially poor and culturally poor. In fact. there are all types of 'poor'....digging myself a hole here....

:wall:

.....fantastic to catch up with the organist (an old school friend). It was somewhat refreshing to talk to somebody from my old school that is living a life somewhat similar to mine, although he is actually happy to be "poor".

Alex, we have a little way to go yet

fc123 · 19 October 2013 at 10:10PM

......whilst I love the FP garage (both son and daughter played with one I got from a booty many years ago) could you remove or post a resized one into the post as the page is sooo W I D E now.

mum2one · 19 October 2013 at 10:17PM

fc123 wrote: »

......whilst I love the FP garage (both son and daughter played with one I got from a booty many years ago) could you remove or post a resized one into the post as the page is sooo W I D E now.

I thought it was my computer having a silly moment....... xx

AlexLK · 19 October 2013 at 10:38PM

fc123 wrote: »

:hello: This all sounds pretty positive. I am so glad the music is back being part of your everyday life, it was the 1st thing that jumped out at me when you wrote your 1st thread.

I wonder if you could get your parents to talk about their upbringings or even the lives of their parents as there is probably some deep rooted fear of 'being poor' and being around 'poor people'. What I mean is also how they define 'poor' people as well...I have a feeling that one or both lived a hard lifestyle that money then swept them away from.

Before anyone takes what I have written out of context I have put 'poor' people into thingies as it is a word that crops up quite a bit. I think there is a difference between materially poor and culturally poor. In fact. there are all types of 'poor'....digging myself a hole here....

:wall:

Alex, we have a little way to go yet

Regarding music, me too; I'd forgotten just how much I used to enjoy it.

On the bad side, my desire to do a PhD has come back full force. I suppose being able to face the debts was all a part of a much bigger realm.

I don't know an awful lot about my parents upbringings but I do know mother came from a farming family (the farm is now her nephew's concern) - I knew my grandmother who was rather eccentric. Father's grandparents were Irish immigrants and dirt poor, his parents were a little better off but no where near enough to give him the type of upbringing I had. I do know they worked a lot leaving him to be brought up by the grandparents.

When I was boy my parents did tell people the house had been in the family for generations, until they were pulled up about it. Yes, that was, shall we say, an awkward time.

fc123 wrote: »

......whilst I love the FP garage (both son and daughter played with one I got from a booty many years ago) could you remove or post a resized one into the post as the page is sooo W I D E now.