Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

AlexLK

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Understood - but do ask at shelters. Any animal can be unpredictable around children, and lots of folks seem to assume all rescues have been mistreated. It's not true - some have just had bad luck of families moving to places that don't allow pets and the like. The staff will know which ones are OK for families.

All kids should grow up with dogs IMO. They are awesome.

HBS x

Thank you, certainly something I will look into having see this post.

And I agree.

slowlyfading

Can I make a suggestion re: menu planning? I've read your thread when you first posted, but don't think I've posted. Some of the things you say baffle me, if I'm honest, but I'll just focus on the food issue first.

First of all, my and my DH spent approx. £35 a week on food, for breakfast/lunch/dinner and we don't go hungry. Now, I love cooking and am happy to do that in the evening when I get home from work, so that obviously helps. Please, go over to the Old Style board and start reading some of the recipe threads - there's lots and lots to choose from. These should help you in the sense that it should give you confidence to try new things, and if it goes wrong, it goes wrong! Not the end of the world

Now, to do our menu plan, we rotate the same kind of menu every week, which is something like this:
Monday - chicken based meal
Tuesday - pizza night
Wednesday - veggie night
Thursday - pasta night
Friday - fakeaway night
Saturday - often out, or something easy from the freezer
Sunday - something sunday dinner-ish.

Now, if you look at that, it gives you a basis for all meals. Some of our favourite, and relatively cheap/quick meals in our house are:
-chicken fajitas (yum!)
- homemade pizzas, with whatever toppings! (these took me a while to master, but persevere, they're so much better than the takeaway )
- spaghetti puttanesca (recipe on good food, look it up! Only takes 15 mins max)
- quiche (not homemade, though I'm aiming for that one day )
- fish, chips and mushy peas - not as good as a takeaway, but from the freezer and less than half the price.
- sausages and sweet potato mash - need I add anything? :drool:
- yorkshires with mince and gravy :drool: :drool:
- veg stir fry with noodles
- chilli and rice with tortilla chips to dip
- spag bol with garlic bread
- spinach and feta cheese omlette with salad

I often make some kind of cake on the weekend for DH to have with his lunches, and now it's getting colder, we'll have a crumble most sundays, with custard

Now, this takes a bit of time to begin with, planning for meals you like and using recipes if and when necessary, but, if you get in the habit of it, it'll save you so much money and you'll begin to feel better for it.

Does this help? I hope so I'm also a musician, nice to see another one on the board!

heartbreak_star

AlexLK wrote: »

Thank you, certainly something I will look into having see this post.

And I agree.

Obviously if you're really unsure don't go down the rescue route, I just find it sad that so many lovely animals need homes and have a bit of a personal crusade on we'll probably rehome another at some point!

HBS x

AlexLK

FlacosFloozie wrote: »

Hi Alex,

I've been lurking and dipping in and out of your diary for a bit now. You do seem to have come in for quite a lot of tough love lately and, while well meant, I think it seems to be getting a bit much for you at times and that has made me think I should actually post and support you.

Firstly, well done on the progress you have made. You are off to a brilliant start! Don't you dare beat yourself up for not doing more yet, be pleased with what you have acheived so far.

Secondly, adjusting your living expenses takes time. Before my light bulb moment I could easily spend £500 a month in the supermarket for the two of us. Now I manage happily with £200 but it was a gradual reduction, I couldn't have done it overnight. You've tightened your belt- it feels akward and unforfortable but in a few months it will feel easier and you'll be able to tighten it a little further relatively painlessly.

Thirdly, and this is the biggie, take time and think about what you really want out of life and if that is different to what you think is expected. Did you buy the nice ink and paper because you will get pleasure from it or because you feel it will give other people a certain impression?

Like you I'm a child of middle class parents who did well. I assumed I would follow their path and do the same, but the world has changed. It took time to realise that me and my friends will not do quite as well as our parents' generation did and that this is okay . I don't begrude my parents anything but my upbringing did not prepare me for the realities of a financially harsher climate. I have learned to meal plan, budget and not just pick what I fancy in the supermarket. I will not be able to send any kids to private schools, but, if I save, I may be able to help them through university. I can't afford a fortnight in the sunshine but I can manage a weekend in a cottge. It took time to adjust my expectations of life but I'm far happier. I wonder if part of the reason its difficult to let go of the pens is that they represent the life you feel you should have?

Anyway, this is far longer and more rambling than I intended but take care of yourself and be proud of what you are doing for your family's future.

Thank you for such an encouraging post and I can really relate in regards to upbringing. Although, in many ways I have been my own worst enemy; my parents gave me more money than my house is worth and life would have been so much easier without a mortgage to pay. However, at 18 I chose to waste it.

slowlyfading wrote: »

Can I make a suggestion re: menu planning? I've read your thread when you first posted, but don't think I've posted. Some of the things you say baffle me, if I'm honest, but I'll just focus on the food issue first.

First of all, my and my DH spent approx. £35 a week on food, for breakfast/lunch/dinner and we don't go hungry. Now, I love cooking and am happy to do that in the evening when I get home from work, so that obviously helps. Please, go over to the Old Style board and start reading some of the recipe threads - there's lots and lots to choose from. These should help you in the sense that it should give you confidence to try new things, and if it goes wrong, it goes wrong! Not the end of the world

Now, to do our menu plan, we rotate the same kind of menu every week, which is something like this:
Monday - chicken based meal
Tuesday - pizza night
Wednesday - veggie night
Thursday - pasta night
Friday - fakeaway night
Saturday - often out, or something easy from the freezer
Sunday - something sunday dinner-ish.

Now, if you look at that, it gives you a basis for all meals. Some of our favourite, and relatively cheap/quick meals in our house are:
-chicken fajitas (yum!)
- homemade pizzas, with whatever toppings! (these took me a while to master, but persevere, they're so much better than the takeaway )
- spaghetti puttanesca (recipe on good food, look it up! Only takes 15 mins max)
- quiche (not homemade, though I'm aiming for that one day )
- fish, chips and mushy peas - not as good as a takeaway, but from the freezer and less than half the price.
- sausages and sweet potato mash - need I add anything? :drool:
- yorkshires with mince and gravy :drool: :drool:
- veg stir fry with noodles
- chilli and rice with tortilla chips to dip
- spag bol with garlic bread
- spinach and feta cheese omlette with salad

I often make some kind of cake on the weekend for DH to have with his lunches, and now it's getting colder, we'll have a crumble most sundays, with custard

Now, this takes a bit of time to begin with, planning for meals you like and using recipes if and when necessary, but, if you get in the habit of it, it'll save you so much money and you'll begin to feel better for it.

Does this help? I hope so I'm also a musician, nice to see another one on the board!

Not sure what I say which is baffling?

However, the food reply really did help, thank you. I shall show Mrs. K. whenever she returns.

What instrument(s) do you play?

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Obviously if you're really unsure don't go down the rescue route, I just find it sad that so many lovely animals need homes and have a bit of a personal crusade on we'll probably rehome another at some point!

HBS x

No, me too, I just presumed a rescue dog would be no good with children.

snookey

Hi Alex you are on the right path with your debts you just need a helping hand on getting the best value for your money. As people have said the old style money saving board is great for tips.
Id recommend getting a cat we have four and they are like dogs . They roll over for strokes of the tum,beg for food,give lots of love and are fantastic company.
We also have a dog, bird and a hamster. The hamster would be a good starter pet for a child. Ours is like a teddy bear with long fur and falls asleep on her back in your hand.

Alex the depression will lift but its swings and roundabouts. Mine has lifted somewhat but I know that it can just as quickly fall as Im bi polar.
Its trying to manage the good days so that you get as much out of them as you can . The bad days dont mean the end they are just a blip.
Remember your not a failure . Look at all the great people who have depression the only difference between them and you is that they had lots of support.
Well Ill leave it there as Im feeling sorry for myself as my foot has been confirmed as fractured and has been put in a temp plaster cast until wed. Im in bed on my laptop which looking on the bright side is rather good,lol.
Take care Alex and if you want to talk when feeling low or any other time feel free to pm me.

slowlyfading

AlexLK wrote: »

What instrument(s) do you play?

Piano is my first instrument, followed by flute, all the saxophones, clarinet and voice

AlexLK

snookey wrote: »

Hi Alex you are on the right path with your debts you just need a helping hand on getting the best value for your money. As people have said the old style money saving board is great for tips.
Id recommend getting a cat we have four and they are like dogs . They roll over for strokes of the tum,beg for food,give lots of love and are fantastic company.
We also have a dog, bird and a hamster. The hamster would be a good starter pet for a child. Ours is like a teddy bear with long fur and falls asleep on her back in your hand.

Alex the depression will lift but its swings and roundabouts. Mine has lifted somewhat but I know that it can just as quickly fall as Im bi polar.
Its trying to manage the good days so that you get as much out of them as you can . The bad days dont mean the end they are just a blip.
Remember your not a failure . Look at all the great people who have depression the only difference between them and you is that they had lots of support.
Well Ill leave it there as Im feeling sorry for myself as my foot has been confirmed as fractured and has been put in a temp plaster cast until wed. Im in bed on my laptop which looking on the bright side is rather good,lol.
Take care Alex and if you want to talk when feeling low or any other time feel free to pm me.

Thank you very much, Snookey.

I hope you are better soon and I did not realise your foot was that serious. Get well soon.

slowlyfading wrote: »

Piano is my first instrument, followed by flute, all the saxophones, clarinet and voice

Wow, quite a few then. Mrs. K. used to play clarinet when she was at school. As I'm sure you've gathered I'm just boring violinist and second study pianist.

FlacosFloozie

Okay Alex,

You were young and stupid at 18, you squanderd the money you had and made financial mistakes.... I'll bet you a (virtual) bottle of wine that most of us on the debt free wanabee forum have done pretty much the same just sometimes on a smaller scale. The past is past, recognise you made bad choices and move on, your experiences will help you to make better choices in the future.

The money my parents have given me over the years largely went to living the high life. There now exists a compicated financial relationship. They don't know about my debts. They would have wanted to bail me out. I would have learned nothing, I had to do it myself or I would just make the same mistakes again and again (one day I'll tell you about my adventures in classic car ownership ). One thing that has helped me is having a very small savings fund. It makes me feel that there will be a positive future, even if it takes a while.
I'd also recommend 'You and your money' by Alvin Hall. It looks at why we have the relationships with money that we do. I downloaded it to kindle using an amazon voucher earned from survey sites :money:but I found it really enlightening.

On a different subject, dogs are great but little K is still a bit young. I think another 12-18months is sensible. A lot of rescue dogs spend time in foster care so can be assessed for behaviour- a girl I work with fosters. She lives on a farm, has dogs, cats and a small child so any dogs that stay with her can be properly vetted. Often a slightly older dog is more sensible and better with young children than an excitable puppy would be. Rescue can be a really good option.

slowlyfading

I would love to play the violin, not at all boring!

AlexLK

FlacosFloozie wrote: »

Okay Alex,

You were young and stupid at 18, you squanderd the money you had and made financial mistakes.... I'll bet you a (virtual) bottle of wine that most of us on the debt free wanabee forum have done pretty much the same just sometimes on a smaller scale. The past is past, recognise you made bad choices and move on, your experiences will help you to make better choices in the future.

The money my parents have given me over the years largely went to living the high life. There now exists a compicated financial relationship. They don't know about my debts. They would have wanted to bail me out. I would have learned nothing, I had to do it myself or I would just make the same mistakes again and again (one day I'll tell you about my adventures in classic car ownership ). One thing that has helped me is having a very small savings fund. It makes me feel that there will be a positive future, even if it takes a while.
I'd also recommend 'You and your money' by Alvin Hall. It looks at why we have the relationships with money that we do. I downloaded it to kindle using an amazon voucher earned from survey sites :money:but I found it really enlightening.

On a different subject, dogs are great but little K is still a bit young. I think another 12-18months is sensible. A lot of rescue dogs spend time in foster care so can be assessed for behaviour- a girl I work with fosters. She lives on a farm, has dogs, cats and a small child so any dogs that stay with her can be properly vetted. Often a slightly older dog is more sensible and better with young children than an excitable puppy would be. Rescue can be a really good option.

I didn't learn my lesson then, or the time after. Third time lucky, they say?

Mind, I just want to hear about your car. I shall have a look regarding the book. My parents also do not know about the debts. However, they do know we are struggling. It is all rather complicated as they want to do a "house swap" as they are getting on in years.

Thank you for the dog advice.

slowlyfading wrote: »

I would love to play the violin, not at all boring!

It's never too late to start learning.