Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

wegle

LannieDuck wrote: »

Maybe take a read of some of the other DFW diaries?

I think this would be really useful for you Alex.

AlexLK

wegle wrote: »

Every thing is relative, and how you feel will be relative to your own situation. However Alex, I'm not going to say you have it easy but I am going to say that you have many more options at your disposal than most.

You are a third of the way to paying your debt and it's taken you 8 weeks (or thereabouts). You have a spare room full of £30-£100 items. It's fairly feasible to me that you will be able to raise the further £20,000 you need within a few months, and certainly within a year at the worst. It's hard to feel sympathy for someone when they don't seem to want to tighten the belt for such a short amount of time to get themselves out of trouble. Remember there are people on here in DMPs that will last longer than 20 years, these people will not have the option to buy £20 worth of stationary because they notice the difference.

Try to remember the difference between need and want. You needed some paper and ink. You wanted some expensive paper and ink. For 1 year anyone can do this. Once your year is done you are going to be in the enviable position of having a relatively high income so will be in a position to fulfill some of those wants instead of focusing on the needs.

Come on Alex, stop the feeling sorry for yourself and focus on the positives of your situation.

It's not a case of not wanting to "tighten the belt". We have done, even before I came on here: we got rid of our nearly new cars, stopped eating out so often, spent less on clothes and I'd reduced the amount I spent on certain collections. The very first SOA I put up on this board was me thinking I'd done everything I could to cut down.

What I don't understand is how people manage to live on even less money than we earn because we are struggling even now to stick to the budget and we no longer live extravagantly.

Mara_uk7 wrote: »

Alex, Compared to an awful lot of folks on here, You do have it easy. You have the means at your fingertips of clearing your debts in full, just by selling a few of the luxury items you have lying around the house.

Some people on here are scrimping and scraping by week to week, buying reduced food in the supermarkets, Walking to work because they cant afford petrol, Juggling which bills to pay first, Selling things for 99p on Ebay or facebook to try and eke out their money further. Yet they are PROUD of how much they are achieving in repaying the debts.

You can be debt free in days if you set your mind to whats important in your life. But wheres the point in getting yourself debt free, if the minute you are clear you are going to go straight back into your old ways. And not just you ... Mrs K as well .

Im being tough on you ? Well maybe, but your negativity irks me today.

I want you to beat the debt trap, Want for you & your little family to be happy again .. I really prefer happy endings.

Mrs. K. and I are trying to make this a long term fix, Mara. We are not sinking back into our old ways, at least I don't think we are. I don't want to end up being back in the situation we currently find ourselves in as we can live within our means, it's just difficult.

I was thinking about giving myself a rather hefty pay rise in order to make things easier once the paperwork has gone through so we could send our son to my old school but I just realise it will all get spent instead and I'd end up scrounging money from my parents anyhow. :mad:

LannieDuck

I find this one very inspiring: https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4362655

Julie's a single Mum of two who's ex left her with huge debts (£40k+). She works full-time and just about manages to keep her head above water and still reduce her debts.

I'm sure others can recommend other diaries too.

AlexLK

LannieDuck wrote: »

You need to get some perspective.

In no way do you have a 'very low income'. The average wage of full-time workers in the UK in 2012 was £26500. I believe your wife earns more than that. That means that you're better off than at least half the population before taking your business / music earnings into account.

£30-£100 per item is excellent for ebay. I hope to get £3-£5 when I ebay, and it's still worth doing.

Lastly, you have lots and lots of things you can sell if you have to. You might not want to... but you owe money to people. You're in debt, Alex. Once you clear that debt, you can horde as much as you want (within budget :P).

The way you're going, you could clear the debt before Christmas. Then you just need to balance your incomes/outgoings. You'll need to budget a bit more carefully than you have been, but you're certainly not badly off. Maybe take a read of some of the other DFW diaries?

If the average wage of a full time worker was £26,500, then for two that is £53,000. Currently, between my wife and I, we earn £52,000, her before tax, me after tax. Clearly, our current income is "below average". When she was working part time we earned almost £8,000 below average.

To be honest, I want to give up the "hoarding".

I think we will struggle to clear the debt before Christmas as we are both quite busy at the moment.

I have read (and contributed) to a few other DFW diaries. It frustrates me that they seem to manage to feed a family of four on £250 per month for instance and use something like £100 per month in petrol. Personally, I don't see how that is even doable.

AlexLK

LannieDuck wrote: »

I find this one very inspiring: https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4362655

Julie's a single Mum of two who's ex left her with huge debts (£40k+). She works full-time and just about manages to keep her head above water and still reduce her debts.

I'm sure others can recommend other diaries too.

Thank you, I shall take a look.

mum2one

I think you have been lectured enough over the paper and ink, on one hand I can see why you spent the money, - your teaching to a professional level, you have strong values installed in you and this has come down to the lessons in terms of you wanting to give your students the best.

So in terms of this purchase - if you keep it soley for the use of the students then in a way you can then accept the purchase but next time look around to see if there is a cheaper alternative,

Money wise - for the last month or so you have been on whirlwind regarding saving towards debts and maybe your coming to a head in your thoughts of where do I go next. For you your items are more valuable than most people sell on ebay, - a lot of my items if I hit £5 I'd be dancing on the ceiling.

Maybe its time to take a step back and re-evaluate as a lot has changed since you started,

plus points-
Your music teaching is taking off
Mrs K has got a pay rise
Mrs K got on board with debts
Your tackling the spare room - your ebaying
Little K has started nursery
Youve got 1/4 towards your debts in such a short time
Youve changed your wine intake to a treat not a everyday experience

Changes-
Youve had to reevaluate how you live
Youve let Little K begin a new chapter of his life
mrs k is now at work full time
Youve seeked help for the depression - thats not going to be sorted out overnight
Your business changes

Negatives
You still need to fully change your spending pattern - at least this time it wasn't a shirt:p
Your under going big changes with the business
Family both yours and Mrs k

-My Thoughts-
Maybe you should look around the debt free diaries as suggested, as people have lower budgets, everyones situation is diffferent, some people are on DMPs which could take 20 yrs to pay, some people stepping out, others coming to the end

Your music - that is brilliant, both the teaching and the orchestra

Your relationship with Mrs K, - remember to keep the channel of communication open

Your attention to holding onto to pens it is not as thou you are letting go of your old life when you could just go any buy anything - now things have changed but it diesn't mean that you cant have something but it has to be accounted for.

Hope you feel better soon x

wegle

AlexLK wrote: »

I have read (and contributed) to a few other DFW diaries. It frustrates me that they seem to find feeding a family of four on £250 per month for instance and use something like £100 per month in petrol. Personally, I don't see how that is even doable.

Stuff like petrol is always going to be a tough one depending where you live. I'm like you in that we live in a pretty rural situation and there is no way we could manage without a car. The only way I can cut back on petrol is by making sure I multi-task my journeys, for example doing the grocery shop on the way home from work rather than going out for a seperate trip. Even with that it's never going to be as low as some on here.

A sure fire way to reduce grocery spends is to get in the kitchen more. Very hard to do though when you are both working and have busy lives. There's no way I can cook every single meal from scratch but I make an effort one day a month to make a huge lasagne, a pot of bolognaise and a pot of chilli. This can all be frozen and is then there for when we don't have the time to cook. As far as I am concerned a tin of tomatoes is a tin of tomatoes. I will not pay 50p for a tin when I can get a smart price/value equivalent for 10p.

Average wages are not really worth looking at as depending where you live and the cost of living those averages will vary wildly from place to place. OH and I earn well below that "average" (£33K combined to be exact) but I would have said our salary was well above that of many of our friends (similar age) in this area and we live in one of the highest cost of living areas in the UK. When we first moved into our house we had a combined salary of £27K and we always got by. The way we manage this is by buying the things we need and when we want to treat ourselves doing it within a budget. For example our treat for this weekend is chips from the chip shop for £4.80 and £5 for a DVD to watch. So £9.80 as opposed to going out for dinner and then to the cinema c. £80. I know which one I would want more, but we can not afford that, so we can not do that. That's how people manage, by realising their limitations and learning to find ways of enjoyment within them.

AlexLK wrote: »

What I don't understand is how people manage to live on even less money than we earn because we are struggling even now to stick to the budget and we no longer live extravagantly.

You're not going to 100% change your mindset in a few months. And when people and myself post on here pointing out areas where you are still in the old mindset we are doing it to help you get to the point where you can manage to stick to the budget and it becomes second nature.

I'll also confess that I am a bit jealous of you Alex and maybe sometimes the harsh words come out a bit because of that. You have so much that I would love to have. A child, your own home, parents that live close by that you see regularly, an incredible musical talent (VERY jealous of this!! ) and instant access to ways to pay off your debt.

LannieDuck

AlexLK wrote: »

If the average wage of a full time worker was £26,500, then for two that is £53,000. Currently, between my wife and I, we earn £52,000, her before tax, me after tax. Clearly, our current income is "below average". When she was working part time we earned almost £8,000 below average.

To be honest, I want to give up the "hoarding".

I think we will struggle to clear the debt before Christmas as we are both quite busy at the moment.

I have read (and contributed) to a few other DFW diaries. It frustrates me that they seem to manage to feed a family of four on £250 per month for instance and use something like £100 per month in petrol. Personally, I don't see how that is even doable.

But's it's not uncommon to have one person in a family working and one staying at home to look after the children. Not all families will have a double income - many will be supporting a family on that 'average wage'. And even if we ignore that, you and your wife are only £1k below an 'average' double income. That's still by no means 'very low'. It's almost the definition of 'average'

For comparison, I'm on approx £43k in London. Single-income with one child (OH is a SAHD). I would say my family has an moderate income (for London). The fact that your family has a higher income than mine, and you live outside of London means you're definitely not on a 'very low' income!

You could clear the debt by Christmas by selling your pens/watches if you chose to. But it's ok if you choose not to, it just means your slightly frugal lifestyle will have to last for a bit longer.

To see how people spend £250/mth on food, check out the 'Old style boards'.

7roland8

Alex lots of people live on way less than the Average wage - which to us would be luxury.

People manage on very low incomes because they have to.

Surely you can see that the money you have to most of us on here is way beyond our dreams - so no wonder some get annoyed when you are constantly complaining about how little you have.

I know being used to having money t must be hard for you all - but its amazing how you can save money if you et your head around it - it just depends how committed you all are.

I mean - are you looking at the Grabbit toy thread for Amazon bargains - I have picked up things off Amazon as Xmas gifts for family very cheaply With money saving it depends how committed you are - but I cannot get why you don't just want to sell stuff to clear it all.

AlexLK

mum2one wrote: »

I think you have been lectured enough over the paper and ink, on one hand I can see why you spent the money, - your teaching to a professional level, you have strong values installed in you and this has come down to the lessons in terms of you wanting to give your students the best.

So in terms of this purchase - if you keep it soley for the use of the students then in a way you can then accept the purchase but next time look around to see if there is a cheaper alternative,

Money wise - for the last month or so you have been on whirlwind regarding saving towards debts and maybe your coming to a head in your thoughts of where do I go next. For you your items are more valuable than most people sell on ebay, - a lot of my items if I hit £5 I'd be dancing on the ceiling.

Maybe its time to take a step back and re-evaluate as a lot has changed since you started,

plus points-
Your music teaching is taking off
Mrs K has got a pay rise
Mrs K got on board with debts
Your tackling the spare room - your ebaying
Little K has started nursery
Youve got 1/4 towards your debts in such a short time
Youve changed your wine intake to a treat not a everyday experience

Changes-
Youve had to reevaluate how you live
Youve let Little K begin a new chapter of his life
mrs k is now at work full time
Youve seeked help for the depression - thats not going to be sorted out overnight
Your business changes

Negatives
You still need to fully change your spending pattern - at least this time it wasn't a shirt:p
Your under going big changes with the business
Family both yours and Mrs k

-My Thoughts-
Maybe you should look around the debt free diaries as suggested, as people have lower budgets, everyones situation is diffferent, some people are on DMPs which could take 20 yrs to pay, some people stepping out, others coming to the end

Your music - that is brilliant, both the teaching and the orchestra

Your relationship with Mrs K, - remember to keep the channel of communication open

Your attention to holding onto to pens it is not as thou you are letting go of your old life when you could just go any buy anything - now things have changed but it diesn't mean that you cant have something but it has to be accounted for.

Hope you feel better soon x

You are always so motivational!

Yes, much have changed because for once, I have put my all into it. I really am trying my best but on days like this it just does not feel good enough.

I am beginning to become apprehensive about the business and also about whether or not I'll ever manage to overcome my battles with depression, which is not really to do with money.

Many times I read things on here and just end up feeling terribly guilty.

wegle wrote: »

Stuff like petrol is always going to be a tough one depending where you live. I'm like you in that we live in a pretty rural situation and there is no way we could manage without a car. The only way I can cut back on petrol is by making sure I multi-task my journeys, for example doing the grocery shop on the way home from work rather than going out for a seperate trip. Even with that it's never going to be as low as some on here.

A sure fire way to reduce grocery spends is to get in the kitchen more. Very hard to do though when you are both working and have busy lives. There's no way I can cook every single meal from scratch but I make an effort one day a month to make a huge lasagne, a pot of bolognaise and a pot of chilli. This can all be frozen and is then there for when we don't have the time to cook. As far as I am concerned a tin of tomatoes is a tin of tomatoes. I will not pay 50p for a tin when I can get a smart price/value equivalent for 10p.

Average wages are not really worth looking at as depending where you live and the cost of living those averages will vary wildly from place to place. OH and I earn well below that "average" (£33K combined to be exact) but I would have said our salary was well above that of many of our friends (similar age) in this area and we live in one of the highest cost of living areas in the UK. When we first moved into our house we had a combined salary of £27K and we always got by. The way we manage this is by buying the things we need and when we want to treat ourselves doing it within a budget. For example our treat for this weekend is chips from the chip shop for £4.80 and £5 for a DVD to watch. So £9.80 as opposed to going out for dinner and then to the cinema c. £80. I know which one I would want more, but we can not afford that, so we can not do that. That's how people manage, by realising their limitations and learning to find ways of enjoyment within them.

You're not going to 100% change your mindset in a few months. And when people and myself post on here pointing out areas where you are still in the old mindset we are doing it to help you get to the point where you can manage to stick to the budget and it becomes second nature.

I'll also confess that I am a bit jealous of you Alex and maybe sometimes the harsh words come out a bit because of that. You have so much that I would love to have. A child, your own home, parents that live close by that you see regularly, an incredible musical talent (VERY jealous of this!! ) and instant access to ways to pay off your debt.

Thank you and I understand very few posts on here are meant with malicious intent.

I had to laugh at my apparent "incredible musical talent" ... :rotfl: you would too if you heard me! Those who can't ...

Even a fish and chip dinner from the chip shop ends up costing us about £15.00 and as I mentioned on here before neither Mrs. K. nor I are good at cooking. However, recently we have been trying not just because of the money issues but also for our health.