Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

AmyandArthur

Hi Alex - I've not been around for a while for various reasons, but came here to catch up on how you are. I'm SO happy you are still chipping away at the money sitch and adjusting the angle of the lens through which you view life. I have to admit I was a bit nervous you might have thrown in the towel. But no, you're still here - FABULOUS. You know it only takes 21 days to create a habit? So you've probably done that by now in terms of not spending money on toot!
I can't comment on having kids - I chose to not have any. I knew they'd do my head in So I'm always full of admiration for anyone who has them and doesn't jump off the nearest bridge by the time the kids are three years old! Amazing feat, parenting - big up yourself! (oh, so you thought Amy and Arthur might be my kids - ha ha! ... they're dogs. And they're not even my dogs, they're guide dogs, I sponsored their training I've had a dog, loved him to bits - but heavens to betsy, almost as much effort as a kid in the end. Lost him four years ago, he was aged 13. Don't think I'll get another till I'm retired. While I'm working full time I don't have the time or energy for the the worry, stress, early mornings, late nights, bills, vomit, poo, wee etc etc etc .... sound like kids? Hmm, that's what I thought too
I skim read the bit about Mrs K's lunch & coffee habit. Now, I'm going to go all preachy preachy here as I have no debts any more, but remember that habit forming 21 days I mentioned earlier. I had to break my coffee/lunch habit when I was more skint than a skint thing. I distinctly remember the year even, because a Starf*cks opened up next to my office front door in 2003. That year, spending money I didnt have, I spent almost £1,000 on one coffee and one muffin a day! After realising the financial extent of my 'small treat' I simply stopped. I also then realised i was spending at least a fiver a day in our 'subsidised' staff restaurant. Another grand a year! In total 7% of my salary at the time was going on coffee, muffins and !!!!!! salads. Wake up call!!!!! I was spending five quid every day on a lunch I could buy ready made in a supermarket for three quid, or I could make myself for two quid. Ten years later, debt free (including mortgage), as I type I am looking at my chicken salad, made from a reduced ready cooked whole chicken bought for £3.96 the other evening from Waitrose (which has done three packed lunches and one evening meal already), rocket and watercress, cucumber, tomatoes, spring onions etc and a sprinkling of croutons. The salad ingredients cost me about £5 and have already done four packed lunches. It's just a state of mind - although I can afford now to eat in the staff restaurant every lunchtime, I still pack a lunch because why would I want to pay for something that I can make for half the price. If the 'dining experience' isn't part of the deal then I'll do it myself, and eating in the staff restaurant is not a 'dining' experience I need to pay for Socialising at lunchtime with colleagues doesn't have to cost a fortune, and peer pressure just needs to be stifled - we're adults, we can make choices, and I still have lunch with my colleagues upstairs in the 'canteen' (as i call it, much to their annoyance), but I bring my own while they haemorrhage money all over theirs. Nobody even notices or cares that I bring my own. People just aren't that interested in what others are eating, they're more interested in your company. Preachy preachy bit done for the day

VJsmum

gallygirl wrote: »

A yes. The 'shall I brand myself with this iron, at least it would be an interesting diversion rather than watch progress on the 12 piece jigsaw ' conundrum :rotfl:

And don't even get me started on playdough

AlexLK

Thank you all, I shall respond properly later.

AlexLK

HOK3Y: Thank you for such an encouraging post. We are perhaps enjoying the journey more than some but it is one we still struggle with at times too.

gallygirl: :rotfl: In many ways I cannot wait for son to grow up a bit so we can doing more interesting activities. Fortunately, he is grown up for his age and has various interests.

AmyandArthur: Thank you again. I would much prefer if Mrs. K. took her own lunch to work but she is insistent about eating out (they go to local cafes). However, she has cut down on what she buys from them e.g. no crisps / chocolate at extortionate prices for afternoon snacks.

VJs: I shouldn't admit this but I actually quite like the playdough ...:o

patanne

Another vote here for late kicking in of maternal instinct. Thank goodness for a job found within 4 days to pay for the live in nanny or we would have been looking at financial melt down. Having said that my child was about 3 before I was feeling anything other than this is my responsibility. I think long labour has something to do with it at times.

I did love the lego stage & always did bedtime, but I think part of it may have been hereditary as I come from a definitely none touchy-feelly background. In fact childhood hugs were a thing I had to learn. As for now, well, that child is now in his early thirties, still lives at home with me & I think that to get rid I may have to actually throw him out.

Seriously though, we bring with us what we learnt as a child & I learnt that a child is a duty, which was not the best start. You are doing really well in your relationship with your son & this will not disappear as he grows older unless YOU withdraw, which only your depression will cause you to do. In other words you are doing great & please stop worrying. If you really want something to worry about, wait until his teens when he will only walk 10 yards in front or 10 yards behind you.

Oh the joys of parenthood!

Igamogam

Playdough.......wonderful stuff Especially the homemade variety. Dont ever buy the commercial rubbish

AlexLK

patanne wrote: »

Another vote here for late kicking in of maternal instinct. Thank goodness for a job found within 4 days to pay for the live in nanny or we would have been looking at financial melt down. Having said that my child was about 3 before I was feeling anything other than this is my responsibility. I think long labour has something to do with it at times.

I did love the lego stage & always did bedtime, but I think part of it may have been hereditary as I come from a definitely none touchy-feelly background. In fact childhood hugs were a thing I had to learn. As for now, well, that child is now in his early thirties, still lives at home with me & I think that to get rid I may have to actually throw him out.

Seriously though, we bring with us what we learnt as a child & I learnt that a child is a duty, which was not the best start. You are doing really well in your relationship with your son & this will not disappear as he grows older unless YOU withdraw, which only your depression will cause you to do. In other words you are doing great & please stop worrying. If you really want something to worry about, wait until his teens when he will only walk 10 yards in front or 10 yards behind you.

Oh the joys of parenthood!

Me too re. the non touchy-feelly background, yet Mrs. K.'s family are.

Lego and train sets are awesome ... , so yes, son is not going to be short on toys or play time as both Mrs. K. and I are "big kids".

I do hope he will not turn into an awkward teenager...

Igamogam wrote: »

Playdough.......wonderful stuff Especially the homemade variety. Dont ever buy the commercial rubbish

Guilty as charged....

AlexLK

Thursday 10th October.
Day 39.

Dear Diary,

I'm getting so fed up of being ill now, that my willpower is somewhat beginning to fade as I crave a nice holiday in the sun, especially as the weather here has been so cold and blustery. It appears October is here with a vengeance, the wind has tonight blown our bin over. I better get the Landy booked into DLS for a proper check over and service - winter is on it's way. On the subject of Land Rovers, I today got the pleasure of driving mother's 2011 Defender which was exactly as I remember them from my younger years: noisy, rather uncomfortable and slow. How on earth they command such a price or how Land Rover still manage to make sales, I've no idea. Yet they always have had a great following, my mother being a fan of the "classless" truck.

Son once again had a great day at nursery, both my wife and I are glad we enrolled him now thanks to everybody here. Mrs. K. has had a less positive day, after dealing with some very awkward contractors she came home fuming. On the positive side, I have gained another music pupil today in the form of my niece ... because I'm apparently so much better than her current teacher. Unfortunately, I didn't make my orchestra rehearsal yesterday evening due to being far too ill, hoping to attend next week though.

Debt busting has been incredibly thin on the ground today. In fact, I too wasted money on a lunch out and bought some green ink and paper that in truth I didn't really need.

Summary:
+£50.00 Music Teaching.
-£4.35 Lunch.
-£18.50 Ink and Paper.

Yours Faithfully,
Alex.

snookey

Alex I love my children but Im far from the perfect parent. I loved some of the baby stage and hated some. Now mine are older its easier and I have some of my freedom back .
I hope you get well soon . Try some B6 for energy.

AlexLK

snookey wrote: »

Alex I love my children but Im far from the perfect parent. I loved some of the baby stage and hated some. Now mine are older its easier and I have some of my freedom back .
I hope you get well soon . Try some B6 for energy.

Thank you.

I shall try that. However, better still recommend a fairy godmother who could make it all just go away...:o