Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

AlexLK

Having read again, I realise how I may have misinterpreted that post. Still not very well and doctors have simply told me to "come back in a few days if no better". Great, so I'll spend the next few days short of breath and sinking back into depression. On the finances front, I've at least managed to get a few things on eBay today.

AlexLK

Wednesday 9th October.
Day 38.

Dear Diary,

Quiet but productive are the best words I can use to describe today; items have been put on eBay, Mrs. K. and I managed to get the house into a state somewhat resembling tidy between us and I've finally got a programme for my parents "carol gathering" put together. Apart from that I've mainly spent the day ill and feeling quite low when son has been bouncing around high on life. Things are again beginning to feel like far too much to cope with.

Mrs. K. was very glad to read your accounts of motherhood on here (you know who you are ), so a big thank you for sharing from both my wife and I. On the not so good front, my wife seems to think something not so great is happening at work between the two directors. However, at this stage she is unsure of what.

Tomorrow, I've got to do some work myself instead of lazing about all day, feeling sorry for myself.

Summary:
£10.65 Groceries.

Yours Faithfully,
Alex.

mum2one

AlexLK wrote: »

Thank you all for your input, I will show Mrs. K. when she gets home.

Can't say I particularly like being referred to as a "fill in the gaps" / second choice for my son though. However, I suppose that is what I am, both a failure in my career and a second rate parent / husband.
)

Alex - hey your not a failure in your career or as a parent, or even husband. You are a modern man, you are taking a share of the childcare, it sounds like you and Mrs K are coming together as a team, not just on debt busting front but the two of you.

Its assumed that mum does everything for the child and dad just slots into the background, I feel like saying were in 2013 not victorian times.

I'll tell you what a 2nd rate father is - those that have kids and have nothing to do with them, - those are the idiots not men like you.

xx

mum2one

Hope your feeling better, its almost like a hamster wheel, you dont feel 100$ in yourself, then because of this you feel your not achieving, this then makes you feel depressed, - the one positive thing that has really jumped out is that you have identified your feeling down, from personal experience I know myself you can identifty the hamster wheel but it can be harder to get off it.

Not medical - just thinking aloud you said short of breath - are you asthmatic by any chance, (if not may be worth asking).


Sorry to ask - how are you getting on re business and the soon to be ex partner xx

AlexLK

mum2one wrote: »

Alex - hey your not a failure in your career or as a parent, or even husband. You are a modern man, you are taking a share of the childcare, it sounds like you and Mrs K are coming together as a team, not just on debt busting front but the two of you.

Its assumed that mum does everything for the child and dad just slots into the background, I feel like saying were in 2013 not victorian times.

I'll tell you what a 2nd rate father is - those that have kids and have nothing to do with them, - those are the idiots not men like you.

xx

Thank you. I try my best but so often, I do not really think it good enough.

Yes, I agree and I am not particularly forthright, unlike my wife, so know "three-way conversations" far too well in regard to our son.

I very much believe both Mrs. K. and I are equally responsible as parents. Funnily enough, though my parents are of a much older generation it was them that instilled such beliefs into me, that a child most certainly was not just the mother's responsibility. Anybody who knows me is aware of my opinion on "absent fathers", shall we just say I am far too polite to write my thoughts on here.

AlexLK

mum2one wrote: »

Hope your feeling better, its almost like a hamster wheel, you dont feel 100$ in yourself, then because of this you feel your not achieving, this then makes you feel depressed, - the one positive thing that has really jumped out is that you have identified your feeling down, from personal experience I know myself you can identifty the hamster wheel but it can be harder to get off it.

Not medical - just thinking aloud you said short of breath - are you asthmatic by any chance, (if not may be worth asking).


Sorry to ask - how are you getting on re business and the soon to be ex partner xx

That's a wonderful way of putting it, I do indeed seem to be stuck on this metaphorical hamster wheel FAR too often.

No, not asthmatic. The doctor said I must have "overexerted" myself whilst already ill with some unidentified "virus". This evening breathing seems a little easier but I'm in quite a lot of pain and have a bad cough. Reckon they must be fed up of seeing me at the doctors as 've not long registered there.

Things are generally going well, I've taken a few more big orders and the motions are starting to go through on the partner front, he settled for 30% in the end and it's all been rather amicable. The best part being he absolutely does not wish to sever ties completely and will be working for me on a freelance basis.

mum2one

AlexLK wrote: »

That's a wonderful way of putting it, I do indeed seem to be stuck on this metaphorical hamster wheel FAR too often.

No, not asthmatic. The doctor said I must have "overexerted" myself whilst already ill with some unidentified "virus". This evening breathing seems a little easier but I'm in quite a lot of pain and have a bad cough. Reckon they must be fed up of seeing me at the doctors as 've not long registered there.

Things are generally going well, I've taken a few more big orders and the motions are starting to go through on the partner front, he settled for 30% in the end and it's all been rather amicable. The best part being he absolutely does not wish to sever ties completely and will be working for me on a freelance basis.

Youve been through a lot in the last month and with autumn it seems to open up all the viruses.
Re "Overexterted your just going to have to tell Mrs K, that wardrobes are for clothes and shoes not for you to jump from and swing across on the lampshade;)

Re the doctors - the time to start worrying is when the receptionship recognises your voice!!

Again thats brilliant news re partner - glad you managed to get to 30%, and its a credit to you that he wants to keep working with you. The boxes you have ticked are you sure its not gold star time.

Hows Little K enjoying nursery, you all take care xx

AlexLK

mum2one wrote: »

Youve been through a lot in the last month and with autumn it seems to open up all the viruses.
Re "Overexterted your just going to have to tell Mrs K, that wardrobes are for clothes and shoes not for you to jump from and swing across on the lampshade;)

Re the doctors - the time to start worrying is when the receptionship recognises your voice!!

Again thats brilliant news re partner - glad you managed to get to 30%, and its a credit to you that he wants to keep working with you. The boxes you have ticked are you sure its not gold star time.

Hows Little K enjoying nursery, you all take care xx

Fortunately neither my wife nor son have caught it. Though father did call saying he wasn't so well today, I do hope it is not this.

:rotfl: ... I wish.

I wouldn't be surprised if she already does , I meant to update my blood test came back saying there's nothing physically wrong with me, so no excuses on the depression other than, well, being depressed.

Thank you and one can never be too old for a gold star or two.

He's really, really enjoying it and said nursery makes better dinners than mummy and daddy; they get a homecooked meal included in the £20.00 fee. My parents are taking him to nursery tomorrow.

HOK3Y

There are numerous studies and articles about parenthood and it not being the wonderful, fulfilling experience that many buy into beforehand. I love my babies but I don't recommend parenthood to anyone. I was extremely maternally and couldn't wait to have children. I wanted 4. I knew I was done at 2. I stayed home with them and had many a day where I was simply beside myself. I ended up on anti-depressants and in therapy. So, it is not a bed of roses but the most important thing I learned is this:

Do not judge yourself based on social expectations - if you feel it, then it is valid and you should allow yourself the freedom to accept it, explore it, and understand it without self judgement.

Forget all the goalposts of parenthood that society spouts. This is your personal parenting journey and you don't need to beat yourself up over it. Just do the best that you can. From the sound of things, your son is a happy little boy.

gallygirl

HOK3Y wrote: »

There are numerous studies and articles about parenthood and it not being the wonderful, fulfilling experience that many buy into beforehand. I love my babies but I don't recommend parenthood to anyone. I was extremely maternally and couldn't wait to have children. I wanted 4. I knew I was done at 2. I stayed home with them and had many a day where I was simply beside myself.

A yes. The 'shall I brand myself with this iron, at least it would be an interesting diversion rather than watch progress on the 12 piece jigsaw ' conundrum :rotfl: