What would you do?

itsanne

It's totally childish, but even though your colleague is not directly involved I still think you should report it before ignoring it. Certainly don't worry about it.

The sister can only have got your name from your colleague, which suggests your colleague is saying things to her. As she was there and knows you didn't make the original comment, the only reasons I can think of for telling her sister you did are to do with making trouble.

The colleague has already caused trouble for other workmates.

Reporting it just covers your back on the off chance of any more stupidity. Handing copies of the exchanges over proves you didn't initiate anything if that were to be alleged later.

I really wonder about what goes on in some people's heads.

You'll be well out of it when you return to your normal job.

paulineb_2

The thing is, report it and it could also backfire if the sister denies it, I mean the workmate denies knowing about this. Sometimes it's better to hold onto stuff like this and if she tries to cause you any more trouble then mention it.

Someone's sister is annoying me on Facebook. I can't think of many managers who would be interested. It's childish stuff. Being in a room when a workmate called someone skinny with big boobs, hardly a big deal.

Although now you know the sister or whoever is sending the messages is trouble, perhaps conversations like that could be left for another time.

FatVonD

I think you should email PDFs of the messages (so you have record of raising it) to your usual line manager, don't make a big deal of it, say something like, 'I'm not expecting you to act on this as it's non work related but I'd like it on record just in case it escalates into the workplace. The comment was made by xxxxxx when troublesome colleague and myself were both present. I didn't participate in the conversation and have never met xxxx's sister so she can only have got my name from xxxxxx.'

bagpussbear

I would, like others have suggested, print off the messages as evidence.

Personally I would speak to this colleague at work quietly, show her the copy of the messages and tell her very firmly if you ever receive anything like this again you will report it straight to HR as harassment, and report her sister to the police. No need to get in a conversation, argument or whatever, say your piece and walk off. She needs to know you mean business.

DUTR

Kabazzzz wrote: »

Just curious as to what other people would do in my situation, I'll try and keep this short!

I work with someone who can be difficult to work with, thankfully I don't have much longer to deal with it as I will be returning to my own job in a different building (I am currently "acting up"). I say this person is difficult to work with as my colleagues have all had some kind of run in with them in the past and I was even warned to watch my back with this person.


Anyway, this is where it gets very weird. I received a private message last night on Facebook from this colleagues little sister, accusing me of saying things about her (about her, not her sister that I work with). Now, I'm 33 years old, don't know this person (probably wouldn't recognise her if I walked past her in the street), I only know it's my colleagues sister as they have a distinctive surname. I would like to point out that I am wholly professional at work and would never talk badly about my colleagues... errr or their sisters!!!


Now her message to me was an unprovoked personal attack on me, so I kept a cool head and replied with an "I don't know who you are, your mistaken" type thing, only to receive the usual school ground guff of "well I've heard differently blah blah blah" so again I replied with the "you're mistaken, I don't know you".


So roll on to today and I've received another message, I can see the first line through my iphone app but haven't bothered to open it. But can see that it's along the same tone as the first two. What would you guys do?

Incidentally, the thing that she's accusing me of saying was mentioned in my office by one of my male colleagues... before Xmas... and it was that our colleagues sister is skinny with big boobs.. I had no part in it whatsoever. But, it was said in jest, in front of our colleague who even laughed about herself.

I would report the posts to facebook, I wouldn't be bringing it up in work. If you are not at that office much longer then why be the instigator of drama? Let the colleague dig her own pit.

itsanne

paulineb wrote: »

The thing is, report it and it could also backfire if the sister denies it, I mean the workmate denies knowing about this.

I agree with this but didn't intend action to be taken, just have it noted.

Kabazzzz

Thanks for all of your advice everyone, much appreciated.

I know how ridiculous this all is and I can't believe how underhanded my colleague is being with it all. Like another poster has already mentioned though, she is digging herself a hole.


I have the messages saved and they have the date on them so if anything comes of it then I have some kind of proof as to what a bunny boiler this girl is.

19lottie82

DUTR wrote: »

I would report the posts to facebook, I wouldn't be bringing it up in work. If you are not at that office much longer then why be the instigator of drama? Let the colleague dig her own pit.

Facebook won't care. She hasn't done anything illegal or threatening

paulineb_2

itsanne wrote: »

I agree with this but didn't intend action to be taken, just have it noted.

I dont think any place Ive ever worked would be the slightest bit interested if I went to them and said someones sister was sending me messages.

Im not downplaying the effect this might be having on the OP, not at all, but you risk looking as if you are making a mountain out of a molehill and diverting attention back to you

It will still be there for future reference if things get worse later on

Nicki

paulineb wrote: »

I dont think any place Ive ever worked would be the slightest bit interested if I went to them and said someones sister was sending me messages.

Im not downplaying the effect this might be having on the OP, not at all, but you risk looking as if you are making a mountain out of a molehill and diverting attention back to you

It will still be there for future reference if things get worse later on

It might depend on how old the sister is though. If an adult member of staff came to me and said they just wanted me to be aware in case there were future problems that the sister of a colleague who was under 18 was sending me unsolicited messages on facebook concerning conversations I was supposed to have had about her at work, then I would remember that conversation and if the member of staff was later accused of anything improper I'd have a context to put things in.