Can you convince a depressed person to get help?

zouzou

A friend of mine is severely depressed and anxious and has been for years. She tried anti-depressants briefly and decided not to continue with them. She doesn't like the idea of going to the doctor. She is in a lot of suffering, and is very resistant to the idea of getting help.

I have seen her suffer for years. I want to convince her to go back to the doctor. I want her to start getting better, no matter how slowly. i am afraid that if she doesn't get help, she may decide to give up.

What can I say to convince her?

HappyMJ

zouzou wrote: »

A friend of mine is severely depressed and anxious and has been for years. She tried anti-depressants briefly and decided not to continue with them. She doesn't like the idea of going to the doctor. She is in a lot of suffering, and is very resistant to the idea of getting help.

I have seen her suffer for years. I want to convince her to go back to the doctor. I want her to start getting better, no matter how slowly. i am afraid that if she doesn't get help, she may decide to give up.

What can I say to convince her?

Not much...ask her out more often even if it's just a walk around the park or to the supermarket and back. Getting out of the house really helps.

jacques_chirac

The best thing you can do is let her know you are there if she needs you. Don't try to push her in any particular direction, that choice needs to be hers.

Is she aware of the alternatives to medication, such as counselling/ talking therapies, reiki, or even simple exercise such as walking?

Person_one

zouzou wrote: »

A friend of mine is severely depressed and anxious and has been for years. She tried anti-depressants briefly and decided not to continue with them. She doesn't like the idea of going to the doctor. She is in a lot of suffering, and is very resistant to the idea of getting help.

I have seen her suffer for years. I want to convince her to go back to the doctor. I want her to start getting better, no matter how slowly. i am afraid that if she doesn't get help, she may decide to give up.

What can I say to convince her?

You could say what you said to us, however the sad fact is that it has to be her decision, unless she's in imminent danger of harming herself or others.

Its so hard to watch someone you care about suffer, I really hope she does get help. Good luck.

Savvy_Sue

You could offer to go to the GP with her. Treatment needn't include medication if she's really against it, but has she ever had any talking treatments?

But if she really doesn't want to get help, there may be nothing you can do.

aileth

Honestly? Not alot. My husband is depressed and it took a good few years to convince him to see a GP. He told me he had booked an appointment, he apparently went when I was at work, later on I got it out of him that he didn't go to the appointment because he was scared.

He sees a Counsellor now every now and then, but tries to avoid it a lot of the time so I don't know how much help it does him. He's a very introverted person and said it felt wrong talking to someone he regarded as a stranger about personal issues.

I found the best thing to uplift him was to get out of the house and do things, have heart to hearts, try and identify the root of depression and work with him. It's helped a lot.

red_devil

aileth wrote: »

Honestly? Not alot. My husband is depressed and it took a good few years to convince him to see a GP. He told me he had booked an appointment, he apparently went when I was at work, later on I got it out of him that he didn't go to the appointment because he was scared.

He sees a Counsellor now every now and then, but tries to avoid it a lot of the time so I don't know how much help it does him. He's a very introverted person and said it felt wrong talking to someone he regarded as a stranger about personal issues.

I found the best thing to uplift him was to get out of the house and do things, have heart to hearts, try and identify the root of depression and work with him. It's helped a lot.

not sure i agree with counselling it draws you deeper into pain. i think your approach and getting out and about is better.

jacques_chirac

red_devil wrote: »

not sure i agree with counselling it draws you deeper into pain. i think your approach and getting out and about is better.

Counselling is not a short term fix, it should be seen as a long term treatment, and it is likely that things will get worse before they get better. It is not a sticking plaster, the bad stuff needs to come out before healing can take place.

The NHS does not cater well for those requiring long term treatment, and a short course can do more harm than good. However if you can find a therapist you work well with, and you have the finances to cover a full course of treatment (which could be over several years), that initial pain should be well worth it.

Takeaway_Addict

The problem with some depressed people is that they know the help is out there but refuse to do anything about it....its very frustrating for all other parties involved but alas there is little you can do but get on with your own life and let them come to terms with their issues.

rpc

It can be very difficult to persuade someone to go, even if it seems obvious.

Aside from anything else, when you are depressed then the world doesn't seem the same as it does to a "normal" person.

The drugs do work, but you need to find the right one and that can take time (and they also take time to kick in). They also don't necessarily fix it, but they give you breathing room. The wrong drug can make things worse (as can going cold turkey once you are on them). My wife has severe PND and it took nearly 6 months before we had something that worked.

NHS counselling is, by most accounts, hopeless. Too much demand, far too few resources. You also need to understand the difference between CBT (dealing with your feelings as they happen) and other counselling techniques that look at any underlying issues and try to fix it from the bottom up.

It's a tough place to be in for both of you, the best you can do is to be there and try to explore the options. There are a number of websites that offer online CBT-like therapy, perhaps those are worth a go?

Takeaway_Addict

red_devil wrote: »

not sure i agree with counselling it draws you deeper into pain. i think your approach and getting out and about is better.

Well its hardly going to skirt around the issues is it.........

It goes in deep to solve the issues and counseling is proven time and time again to work