Debt, get ready to kiss your @$$ goodbye!

HOK3Y

Some days you just know that thinking positively is not going to cut it for you. Today is going to be one of those days. Long story cut as short as I can. I have 2 children. I have a lying and persuasive ex. He left me financially broken when we divorced which means I cannot fight him legally. He recently persuaded both children to live with him in another country with promises of iphones, holidays in Hawaii, a pickup truck for my son and a pink rifle (i wish i was making that up) for my daughter. As they are both over 13, I could not prevent it according to my solicitor. I have now not spoken to them in 2 months. How I have been smiling I do not know. After messages and messages on FB, my son finally sent me a 3 word response last night 'I'm doing well'. It would seem that I have been absolutely removed from their lives.

Some days it is very hard to pick yourself up and carry on. Today will be one of them. I hope to be better tomorrow. I have an exam this afternoon that I need to focus on and that's not happening right now - I need to shift my mind somehow.

I don't really want advice or suggestions from anyone - all it does is give false hope and frustration. I just wanted to write it down in the hope that it would help to get it off my chest.

I wish everyone a fruitful debt busting day but from a less perky standpoint than normal!

wegle

No advice or words of wisdom here. Just big hugs!! Thinking of you HOK3Y. xxxx

DreamerHelen

Your Post moved me hun....I'm so sorry to hear that things are tough for you....

I dont have any words of wisdom...but I wanted to send **BIG HUGS**....

Hope the Exam goes well...

crimson.addict

Hugs here too. I do however believe that everything happens for a reason and that it will all come good in the end. As long as they know you will always be there for them that's the very best you can do. Sounds like you're doing a great job. Keep doing what you're doing xx

HOK3Y

Hugs back to you my friends. To add insult to injury, this £400 expense I have coming up this week is to travel to the mainland and sign documents relating to removing my name from the house which should have been done by him 2.5 years ago. He has stalled and stalled and done everything to prevent it. The notary refuses to send the documents to me here. If ex had done this when he was supposed to, I would have still been there and could have signed. Instead, I now have to take a day off work and absorb the expense of getting there. And it is no guarantee that he will sign. He has every intention of running out on the mortgage in the summer and the bank have already said they will come looking for me as I am the European. It's a 400k euro mortgage and I believe the house is in negative equity.

Yes, you can take my normally sunny disposition as something of a miracle. I have dreams of literally pummelling him to his end.

crimson.addict

is there nothing you can do? After all you haven't lived there in a long time and you are remarried? Surely they can't keep looking to you to bail him out of everything.

HOK3Y

Crimson, I have beat my head off this wall for over 2 years. Oh and believe me, he has plenty of money - he is just hell bent on hurting me because I left him. I have pushed and fought with him, the bank, the notary. I recently asked a good friend over there who underwrites mortgages to help me and he conversed with the notary on my behalf. I still have to go and sign this bl**dy paperwork. Apparently the divorce agreement won't matter a bit to the mortgage company - this paperwork has to be signed. It does not mean he will sign it even if I do. I plan to give him two weeks after I sign and then attempt to put pressure on him through the bank. Other than that, it will cost me a few thousand Euro to pressure him legally and the Dutch won't let me claim costs!!! It's all just a bit much to be fair.

crimson.addict

I know it's still a lot but a few thousand is surely better than repaying the whole mortgage?

i wish i could help you. I will be thinking of you though and praying something is done to prevent this for you. I know it's not much but you never know x

HOK3Y

Thanks crimson - I'll happily accept prayers. Really appreciate it. He seems to get away with everything. He even hired a BARRISTER to prevent paying fair child support for his children, despite taking home $140k a year! And he succeeded!

HOK3Y

Karma, when you eventually get round to doling out just desserts, please may I have a ticket??