Sad and lonely

bookemdano

Hi all, usually I can kick myself up the backside and cheer up but I can't find the strength lately to keep smiling. I have one close friend (pathetic or what), I am in debt which I am getting down, job I hate, live alone. I feel a total loser that at the age of 34 I live in a tiny studio flat when my sister is married, has a good job and owns her own home. I do know that I should stop whining and sort my life out but sometimes I'd like someone to take care of my worries so I can have a break, all I seem to do is sleep, work, eat. My confidence is so low that today at Tesco's I changed tills because I felt so shy to be served by the fit looking girl on the checkout that I went and got served by some old guy. Sorry to ramble on, I'm not usually this sad but sometimes things get to much. Thx 4 listening. Dan:o

wifeforlife

bookemdano wrote: »

Hi all, usually I can kick myself up the backside and cheer up but I can't find the strength lately to keep smiling. I have one close friend (pathetic or what), I am in debt which I am getting down, job I hate, live alone. I feel a total loser that at the age of 34 I live in a tiny studio flat when my sister is married, has a good job and owns her own home. I do know that I should stop whining and sort my life out but sometimes I'd like someone to take care of my worries so I can have a break, all I seem to do is sleep, work, eat. My confidence is so low that today at Tesco's I changed tills because I felt so shy to be served by the fit looking girl on the checkout that I went and got served by some old guy. Sorry to ramble on, I'm not usually this sad but sometimes things get to much. Thx 4 listening. Dan:o

OMG did I write this in my sleep!

Dan, believe me your not on your own! You've basically spelt out my life there. Life is hard, and it can be lonely but it's also what we make of it.

I understand your confidence in on the floor but whatever is getting you down the most make it your first priority in changing or improving

Whats your number 1 worry, what really gets you down and what you would most like to change?

Cate

bookemdano

cathy2702 wrote: »

OMG did I write this in my sleep!

Dan, believe me your not on your own! You've basically spelt out my life there. Life is hard, and it can be lonely but it's also what we make of it.

I understand your confidence in on the floor but whatever is getting you down the most make it your first priority in changing or improving

Whats your number 1 worry, what really gets you down and what you would most like to change?

Cate

thx for your reply, bought a little smile to my face;). Number one worry is money but thinking rationally about it, all bills are paid, I have food, somewhere to sleep so why worry. I know I should get out there and make more friends but not sure how to go about it yet. Job gets me down but it pays fairly well and it is easy so for now I will stick it out until my debts are low enough to try something new, money really is my main priority at the moment.

wifeforlife

I know, listen there are so many of us that feel like this!

Making friends is very hard, I started slowly by retexting old friends I had lost contact with, I have a dd so it can be difficult to get out. I started a gym last year and my mood improved and I met a few people there who I used to go for coffee with after. I use facebook at the moment to find some old faces and new faces from my old school and uni.

Lastly I spend every evening talking to nice people like you!

Cate

southernscouser

You getting any support and advice with regards to your debt mate?

There is a whole board of us who are always welcoming.

sarymclary

Hi Dan,
First of all, here's a **hug** :grouphug: which I hope goes a little way to make you feel better.

It is easier to look at another person's life to see how 'perfect' it may seem to be, but underneath no one's life is perfect.

I think you need to look at what you have already achieved with your life, before you begin beating yourself up about how much you haven't done.

As an outsider looking in, you have managed to provide yourself with a home, are tackling your debts (yay!). You have a close friend, who I am sure you care about and who cares for you too; isn't that far better than a hundred acquaintences you couldn't call on in a crisis? You are employed, albeit not in the job you'd really like to have.

So, what is it that you'd really like to tackle? The job? Having more money? A relationship? More friends? A bigger home? More confidence?

Any one of these things changing might be the trigger to help alter the others. My suggestion would be to make a top 10 (or 5, or whatever number there are) of main issues you see in your life, and then work out what you could practically do to make a positive change in them.

So, for example, if changing jobs would give you more satisfaction, and hopefully a better salary, then that might be the first one to tackle. Set yourself a plan of action, such as getting the local paper on 'jobs' night, looking online at a job finder site, getting a new CV prepared and just writing to any local business you'd fancy working for. You get the idea.

You have to realise that only you are capable of doing the best job of being you, and I am sure there are more people than you think who appreciate you.

Hopefully, by tackling each issue one by one, you will steadily gain the confidence in yourself that you can achieve your own goals. At the end of our lives we won't be wishing for a bigger house, a flashier car, or a new 'best' friend, but we will appreciate the good times we had, and the people we loved along the way.

There are always plenty of new friends to find via this forum, and we will always be here to help you along the way. If you get stuck sorting out your list, why not get back to us and maybe we can come up with some solutions (ie. confidence building, meeting new people ideas, etc).

Good luck, and realise that you are appreciated.

bookemdano

southernscouser wrote: »

You getting any support and advice with regards to your debt mate?

There is a whole board of us who are always welcoming.

I have been lurkin on the DFW board but haven't posted an soa yet. Will get around to doing that shortly. Thx 4 the reply.

southernscouser

bookemdano wrote: »

I have been lurkin on the DFW board but haven't posted an soa yet. Will get around to doing that shortly. Thx 4 the reply.

Pleasure mate.

Remember we aren't there to judge, just help.

Plus we have a few laughs and you might even make a few good friends. :beer:

bookemdano

sarymclary wrote: »

Hi Dan,
First of all, here's a **hug** :grouphug: which I hope goes a little way to make you feel better.
Good luck, and realise that you are appreciated.

thankyou, made me feel that I'm not alone. I will write down my goals and stop feeling so sorry for myself. What a fantastic bunch of people on this site.;)

wifeforlife

Definately recommend the DFW board, it was where i first went to when I joined the site, then I branched out to the local areas, the arms (my favourite) and basically try to keep up to date on everything now lol some would say I'm nosey I just think I'm inquisitive (sp)

Goodluck you've friends here anyway

Cate

bookemdano

cathy2702 wrote: »

Definately recommend the DFW board, it was where i first went to when I joined the site, then I branched out to the local areas, the arms (my favourite) and basically try to keep up to date on everything now lol some would say I'm nosey I just think I'm inquisitive (sp)

Goodluck you've friends here anyway

Cate

I feel much more positive now I know there are people out there who can spare 5 minutes to offer advice and support. A big thankyou to you all. On that note I must get some sleep. Will update and post more often