Rent or buy?

kingfisherblue

I live in a three bedroom house and have a disabled son, another son, and a daughter. The two boys have no choice but to share, even though my disabled son is up three or four times a night. Since my ex left, I'm on benefits, so cannot afford an extension - not that there is space, as our garden in small.

Sometimes you just have to accept what you have. I would love to have a four bedroom house, but it just isn't possible. Instead, my younger son is a member of Young Carers. He is still disturbed in the night, but knows that there are others in the same position as he is. It certainly isn't ideal, but then again, life rarely is.

OP, you seem to have more options than me. Your older son could have a downstairs bedroom, possibly with shower room attached, which would give him privacy and peace, plus some kudos with his friends - how many are likely to have their own shower room?

You could also take the advice of having a garden playroom, which would be fantastic IMO, or possibly a conservatory as a playroom. This would limit the toys upstairs. Personally, I don't have toys upstairs anyway, as my son would either become isolated from the family, or he might try to carry them downstairs and risk falling. It's safer and easier for us to use the dining room as a playroom. My kitchen is big enough for a dining table though.

One more thing to consider before giving up the security of owning your own home - what if you need adaptations for your son's disability in the future? We have a downstairs wet room where most people have a driveway. It is necessary for my son's needs. If we rented, we would have to manage without this, which would be a struggle.

I also think that you should consider removing the link to your house on Rightmove. I was taught to be anonymous on the Internet, and this site does say that you should look after your safety as the mods can't do it for you, but you have just advertised to hundreds (or more) people where you live.

Dunroamin

mummyroysof3 wrote: »

Downstairs bedroom wouldn't be as much of a problem if the layout was different. I don't know how to do a floor plan. We don't have a hall that rooms come off so a room put on back of the house would be too far away from other bedrooms in the event of a fire etc

Couldn't the current dining room be a bedroom (I notice it has a door off to a loo)? Perhaps you could then add a conservatory to give you extra living space, which would work out cheaper and less disruptive than an extension.

Tommelise

ognum wrote: »

Great post and an excellent compromise for your family, not great for you and hubby but you made it work for you!

Its not ideal, but it does work

Ours son often stays over in DD2 room with her at the weekends ( she has the large room) and loves to camp out in any available room if his sisters are away at friends or with school/sport.

Brighton_belle

Another vote for looking at the space you have more creatively.

For example we live in a small 2 bed Victorian terrace. What would commonly be the sitting room, (first room off the hall by the front door) we rent out as a double room to a lodger to make ends meet.
We use the upstairs main bedroom as our sitting room and the small back bedroom as our bedroom - no room for a wardrobe or other furniture but just full of bed. I put shelving up on the walls to store much of our clothes and shoes and a rail up in a chimney alcove to hang the rest.

At 'our age' it might be tempting to think we shouldn't still need to be living like this. Where as I see it as 'Aren't we lucky to have found a way to afford our own place'.
We removed all the traditional name labels we give to rooms and looked at what our needs were.

Is there any reason why your daughter and non disabled son cannot share? And can they share the largest bedroom that you and DH currently have and you put a shelf divider down the middle? The the 2 of you squash into a smaller room?

peachyprice

I can't believe you would dismiss an extension and put your children through the insecurity of renting because your husband would lose his parking at the back.

If parking that close to the house to him why can't you pave the front garden and have OSP at the front?

Funky_Bold_Ribena

Crikey I've just looked at your house, you have loads of space for an extension, just park at the front. I think you would be completely insane to sell that house and rent. You could move into the lads room, and let them have the bigger room, and just pop a divider up to separate them and although it will be a squeeze, it will sort you out until you work out what to do.

CH27

I've just looked at your house & you have loads of options.

I think you are tying yourself in knots over something that is very solvable.

sharnad

I am glad I have never rented. At the end of 20 years payong a you can have a home at the end of renting for twenty years you have nothing. I am also happier as I get older that I am a homeowner. Getting towards retirment age and not having a home of my own would be too frightening

LannieDuck

I think I missed the listing, so I don't know which part of the country you're in, but would it be possible to move areas (locally), and find a cheaper area where your 3-bed sale would buy a 4-bed?

geoffky

We bought a 4 bed and just as we bought my eldest decides that she is moving in with her boyfriend..So we all have a bedroom each and the spare one is our ironing room.