29wks pregnant, violence, exhausted, no-one to help

needsomehelppls

tiger_eyes wrote: »

OK, for the record, it's a well-known phenomenon that abusers persuade and coerce their partners into becoming pregnant to exert control over them. They pretend to be trustworthy, they manipulate their partners into thinking the relationship is solid. So suggesting that the OP must be at fault is not terribly helpful.

THANK YOU! This is so true! I have removed a small part as never happened here, but yes it is CONTROL.
Some people are very clever, and can persuade and manipulate others to what they want. 'Big happy family' beautiful baby to love you, do a better job than our parents did...

And when pregnant, you become so needy, vunerable, exactly what they want

heartbreak_star

Nobody can do this for you. Seek help, and go to your GP to get some treatment for your confidence issues.

HBS x

marisco_2

OP thank you for being brave enough to really open up and give us some background on yourself. Please know that you do not deserve anything that has happened to you in the past or what you are experiencing now. It is extremely hard when you are in an abusive relationship to see what is going on. Even more so when you were raised thinking much of what you are suffering is normality and all you can expect from those who share your life.

The constant chipping away at your self-esteem and confidence is terribly draining, add that on top of running a business, raising children and being pregnant and it is no wonder you are so worn down. Find some strength from within yourself and make the first steps towards securing a safe and happy future for yourself and your children.

[Deleted User]

Stop working for him, visit your Police station, report your fears of violence so something is logged, visit your GP to do the same, eat, visit your local council and CAB for housing advice if needed. Contact Women's Aid to get advice. Start packing a secret escape bag and keep it somewhere he won't find it just in case you have to get out quickly.

needsomehelppls

I hope I've put myself across better today, last nights post was horrific grammar, spelling etc but it was the middle of the night, and from my phone!
Not working today, just too much. My beautiful children & I are still in our PJs watching Disney films!
I am obviously eating something, but not looking after myself properly, a slice of toast for breakfast, no time for lunch, and a junk food tea. That came across wrong. But skipping lunch when pregnant has a much bigger effect on how you feel, than when not pregnant!
He cleared up all the glass this morning before work, and hoovered etc. Not spoken, lucky he went hours ago and didn't dare suggest I get up & go to work.
I know how stupid it sounded not wanting to leave a job/business, but thats all I have to show for myself, I have achieved SO much and it is the only area of my life I truely have confidence. The only limitations I have is the pregnancy as I get tired, forgetful, which is frustrating. Funnily enough that also affects my confidence at work.... (read into that one as another reason)
But I do understand how stupid that sounds, when there are 2 children that are more important than that, and a baby to care for.
Not doing anything today, except look after myself, and my children, so I am healthy & strong with whatever I do. Don't want to disrupt them after last night. And I'm not mentally coherent enough to make decisions about where to go, and how to put myself across.
Perhaps get some money together this week, to save hardship further down the line.
I want to do this right, and as I have said this isn't a daily/weekly even monthly occurance, so no immediate danger. Perhaps careful planning would be better for me and the children, rather than moving several times and distressing the children that way?

needsomehelppls

Ronaldo_Mconaldo wrote: »

Just go to the police, Drama Queen. We don't need some 'diary of a battered wife' on here.

What a complete idiot! You are probably the husband that actually beats his wife! To say that to someone who is obviously going through a hard time, you don't deserve to be a human.
If you don't like it don't read.

sallysaver

Ronaldo_Mconaldo wrote: »

Just go to the police, Drama Queen. We don't need some 'diary of a battered wife' on here.

Totally un-necessary. Hope you're never in the same position. Just what you achieve out of statements like this is beyond any normality

needsomehelppls

Ronaldo_Mconaldo wrote: »

A 1 year old not in bed at 10.30 at night? Sounds like you need to get social services in to take your kids away. This is a wind up though so I'm not bothered.

Another stupid comment!
Perhaps if social services spent all their time chasing parents whose children have a late night after a long afternoon nap, the children in real danger wouldn't get the help they need? Or perhaps nothing happens to children which is worse than a late night?

mrsgreenwood_2

Ronaldo_Mconaldo wrote: »

Just go to the police, Drama Queen. We don't need some 'diary of a battered wife' on here.

why bother reading this thread and replying things like that?! :mad:

paulineb_2

tiger_eyes wrote: »

OK, for the record, it's a well-known phenomenon that abusers persuade and coerce their partners into becoming pregnant to exert control over them. They pretend to be trustworthy, they manipulate their partners into thinking the relationship is solid, they sabotage birth control, they refuse to use condoms, they force their partners into sex. So suggesting that the OP must be at fault is not terribly helpful.

I didnt say she was at fault did I? And theres birth control thats harder to sabotage than others.

I do know what its like to be in an abusive relationship btw, more than one.

Im also aware that abusive partners force their partners into sex, it happened to someone very close to me.

But, 2 children in, one on the way and 3 losses of kids and things arent right, at some point alarm bells need to start ringing.

For all their sakes.