Just about had as much as I can take of this....very upset

sandy2_2

Hi there,
sounds like you're begiining to pick yourself up and make some positive moves forward. well done, keep going

I don't know if this will help but when I was in a bad place, some of the advice I was given concerned 'feelings'. It was suggested that I wrote down how I felt about things eg how the situation started, developed, people involved, what i felt about it, that sort of thing. You can either keep your notes, editing them so when you have to explain your situation to people you can give them the details (a bit like you did with your first post) I found this helped as I didn't get all weepy when trying to explain to why everything was in a mess. Once you have written everything down. I was told that after editing the original script, to burn it or throw it away, as its like you're getting rid of the negative energy. I know it sounds a bit bizarre, but it has worked on several occasions for me.
Stay strong

Richard_S

Hi donner,

It's not in anybody's place on this web site to suggest that you should take a particular corse of action or not; that is the job of a professional and the Debt Charities are absolutley superb. Rog2 has pointed you in the direction of a CAB member of the site which is a good start and CCCS conduct a very detailed interview over the phone that should allow you to talk to somebody outside work hours.

Once you've got that advice you're very close to actually taking back control of your life, whatever that advice might be. The worst part of anybody's debt problem is invariably the months leading up to actually taking the decision to seek professional advice. Once you know how to deal with banks and financial institutions and realise that they are actually in quite a weak position you'll very quickly start to feel more positive about your situation.

If your debts are manageable then the DFW is the best place in the world for advice on saving money and setting realistic budgets, and of course the support you'll need when the going gets tough. If you ultimately decide that bankruptcy is your best option then again the Bankruptcy sub-board is an invaluable place for anecdotal advice and support.

As for your current boyfriend, if he hasn't got the courage and patience to help you through your current problems then perhaps he's not worthy of your love and affection.

Please make that call to one of the Debt Charities and let us know how you get on.

Best regards

Richard

tealady

Hi Donner. Your most important task is to look after yourself and your daughter and this is the time to take help from people. Who you talk to and what you say is your business, all I will say is if you need an ear to bend or advice on almost anything then this is the right place to be. You have taken the hardest steps on your journey but you can get there. Just think "baby steps" (as other threads advise). Please do as Richard asks though, contact a debt charity, they will not judge you and most imporantly their advice is FREE. Keep posting to let people know who you get on.

GettingThingsDone

Hi DK - not much to add, but you WILL get through this! One step at a time...

gtd

rchddap1

Yes at the moment things are difficult....but you got rid of the main problem...your ex. No matter what he now tries to throw at you both yourself and your daughter are free and safe. No amount of money (or debts) can buy happiness. If you end up going bankrupt then so be it. It is not the end of the world. Many people go there and find that its one of the best things that happened to them (my future Mother in Law included).

Think of it this way if you do end up going to court and being made bankrupt then so be it. Whatever the bank throws at you it can't be as bad as what your ex did to you. And what he could have potentially have done to your daughter too.

Tackle one small job round that house at a time. Get your daughter to join in. Perhaps explain to her why you've not been yourself lately, but that you'll both sort things out together.

The jobs that should be at the top of your list are the happiness of yourself and your daughter. Everything else...whilst stressful....will eventually be sorted. Worrying about it isn't going to make things better. Call CAB, call CCCS. Get them to sort out your debt situation and then that's one less headache to worry about.

And if you do get wound up...just post here for a bit of support. There's always plenty of people around to give a hug when its needed. And you can probably bet that there's someone out there who is in a worse situation that you.

Hugs

itsarichmansworld

Hi donner

I dont want to repeat all the brilliant advice given but just to let you know that you are a very brave lady and this will be the first day of a new life.

Your Daughter sounds an amazing caring wee girl.

Just wanted you to know you have a load of new DFW friends here on the boards x

smudgemanc26

If you can do phone the CAB and make an appointment to see them, thats what i did as i couldnt just pop down when they were open as i have to work full time. They are really helpful and will help you make an income and expenditure sheet and sort out priority debts. They even contact them on your behalf and work out a re-payment plan.

I felt so much better after speaking to them sometimes its just good to talk to someone who understands and is not judgemental. There are loads of people on here who offer really good advice and support so if you ever need to talk then post on here someone is always around to help.

Hope you get things sorted Good Luck xx

chunky79

Hi hun

Firstly massive hugs for you and your dd:grouphug:

Secondly well done you, you have made the first and biggest step to making a better life. Although its hard to contemplate it does get better i had a very abusive husband. I walked 6 years ago. I know its hard hun and you want to cry and feel like the world is closing in on you but it does get easier.

Just a suggestion i was very lucky in the fact that i moved into my parents and got myself sorted, could you do this?

You have been given lots of fabulous advice about the debt but you also need some me time. You moaned about your house. I know on my down days my house is the first to take the blunt end of it and nothing gets done, if you are constantly down then it is understanderble. The way i tackle it one room at a time. Wokring fulltime is hard but when you have your dd to bed start at 1 hour anight what does notget done wait until tomorrow. Or you and your dd could do it together have a challenge who can bag the most?

Always remember the best revenge is happiness.:T

Muppet81

Well done DK. You were very brave and got rid of the ex and you and your DD are now moving forward.
Having been at a low point myself recently and receiving so much support from the forum I know what you mean about wanting to cry when you read the messages. It is such a help to know you never need to be alone with a worry again.
Lots of hugs to you both and wishing you lots of luck for the future.
Pam
PS I agree with some of the other posts. perhaps you should consider the role of current boyfriend. Sound like you deserve much better.

Pobby

Just more hugs DK.What a strong lady!