Should my daughters contribute to the house?

**Patty**

lushlifesaver wrote: »

When I was working part time alongside study and living at home I paid one utility bill, £40 per week 'cover' and paid for 85% of the groceries (because I love to cook and bake) - I also did the washing and cleaned the kitchen/bathrooms.
On top of this I paid for my own contract phone, monthly travel pass, all educational costs (incl 10% of my post grad fees, books, etc) and anything else I wanted plus 1 meal a month out for my parents.

I'm lucky as I'm very much a night in rather than out person which gave me the luxury of spending money on good food and staples as well as homey pieces which are all now either in the home I share with bf, or waiting for us to get a bigger house!

I don't think it should be as cut and dry as 'one utility bill plus...' or just enough to cover what you are now short off. Sit down with them and discuss what amount you each feel is fair

Come & live with me!............Please!


17 (almost 18) yr old DD is *undecided about her future*.

1 yr into her A levels & because she didn't get the results she expected, she *thinks* she *might* look for a job. Maybe.

However, in the meantime, I am expected to keep her as she can't possibly afford to give me anything on a 15hr part time contract.....I pay her mobile contract.....do all her washing/cleaning/ironing (the ironing when i get sick of nagging her to do it) cooking......she gets £80 a month off us as support for books/studies/clothes etc. and we have a fairy for chores.

We too will lose her portion of the CTC......which is not ideal. We did all our household budgets based on that she'd be in education for another year.

Fatkitten

Hi everyone - thank you so much for your responses i have taken on board what everyone has said.

I know i have been quite linient with them both but i cannot afford to do this now and as they are both staying at home i needed to take action.
I wrote a letter explaining to each of them how much i have lost and that i would never,never, EVER expect them to pay towards my personal bills but that i needed help on the basic living costs (gas,electric,rent,council tax and food). The eldest agreed to pay £30 a week getting £300 a month basic wage but then theres her university grant which we will discuss when that comes through. My youngest put up a bit of a fight as she gets £300 a month but she is also paying for driving lessons (which i help out when i can with the cost) but we have come to £20-£30 depending on what she gets. This nearly covers what CTC & CB so i'm happy with that

I know im a little 'soft' with them sometimes and they get away with allsorts (including sharing the housework) and i know its only to make up for there being 1 parent but i've stuck to my guns this time and they both understand (because of the letter).

So thank you all so so much xx

claire16c

I can't believe some people suggested paying the going rate for a room in your area. Where I am that would be about 400-550 where on earth would a student get that! These are your children not strangers!

Person_one

claire16c wrote: »

I can't believe some people suggested paying the going rate for a room in your area. Where I am that would be about 400-550 where on earth would a student get that! These are your children not strangers!

I don't agree with it either. When you pay the going rate for a room you don't usually expect to get your mum still living with you as part of the deal!

Parents and children shouldn't be landlords and tenants.

claire16c

Person_one wrote: »

I don't agree with it either. When you pay the going rate for a room you don't usually expect to get your mum still living with you as part of the deal!

Parents and children shouldn't be landlords and tenants.

Exactly. If they're going to charge that, the child may as well move out and live with friends, leaving the parents with zero money. Which I think they'd deserve! Children are children not cash cows.

JaneTalks101

claire16c wrote: »

I can't believe some people suggested paying the going rate for a room in your area. Where I am that would be about 400-550 where on earth would a student get that! These are your children not strangers!

The kids would think that it would be better to move out.When I was a student I was perpetually short on funds. My parents understood that and did not make unrealistic requests.